OK, first I have to preface this with a purchase of a pristine $ 33K mid-size SUV vehicle about 2 months ago. Yesterday, was the first hit and run on the rear bumper where the paint was gouged off and damage occurred to the alignment of the body parts: http://www.lpsg.org/84802-i-hate-4.html "I would say I hate the jerk that hit my car today and drove away, but what I have for that individual goes beyond hatred. That individual is fortunate that I didn't catch them in the act or have learned of their identity. I was able to recover to a large extent by spending nearly an hour unf*cking the damage to the best of my talents and abilities." That was last night that I reconciled everything I could do about that incident. There is nothing more I can do about that, it's over and done with, the guilty drove away before I learned of the incident and was able to catch them at the scene of the crime, red handed. I was/am relatively over it this AM, but it is fresh enough and in the back of my mind. Now, here is what unfolded at 7:40 AM today. The morning started @ 5 AM. I awoke and showered to go golfing with friends for an 8:40 AM tee time. Why so early ? Well, the golf course is an hour away, I have to shower, dress, load equipment, get there early for a breakfast @ IHOP (International House of Pancakes restaurant chain) and then arrive to warm up and hit a small bucket of balls at the driving range. My perfect idea of a boring and non-eventful Saturday, where we all do our little thing and enjoy life on the planet Earth without inconveniencing one another too awful much. Everything went perfect to plan and by 6:50-7 AM, I was sitting at a table ordering breakfast @ the IHOP after parking in an isolated area of the parking lot, away from any other vehicles. I order, am served, eat without incident, pay my bill & tip and exit the restaurant. What ensued and transpired after this has got to be one of the ugliest incidences I have ever endured and participated in a face to face exchange with anyone and looking back am surprised I didn't get punched in the face at the very least for the way I spoke to others. After exiting the restaurant, I walk to my car and notice a new model black Chevy Silverado 1500 series extended cab pickup truck parked along the driver's side of my car. I parked front end first and the Chevy is backed into their parking space. The parking spaces are separated by not only a single line, but a small painted rectangular area, definitely a better designed, nicer & more spacious parking lot. A woman is still sitting at the wheel of the truck, waiting for her husband and another couple to arrive so they can eat as I will later learn of. I am unaware of her at that initial moment, as it's early AM and the windows are tinted, she is an unknown factor. Well, the first thing I notice on the side of the rear door is a brand new mark in the paint. I stop and inspect, there is a very slight indentation in the paint & my assumption in the metal and it is as fresh as the damage could be. I look over at the truck, because I know I have the guilty party either in that truck or that went into the restaurant after I had (IHOP was the only business open). As I try to see into the tinted window, this is when I discover the fattest and most stupid person of this new day that I will encounter. After looking in the other vehicle, then trying to rub the mark out of the paint and then looking back into the truck, rubbing the mark again a few times, this stupid fat bitch cracks open her window, then, her door. After this I look at her simply astonished and the anger of yesterday's incident and frustration of my new problem is festering and seething inside me. I am holding the rage back with every fiber of my being, yet am still cool and collected enough to address her politely. At this point and I will describe this 5 foot tall, 250+ lb fat @ss woman with a tiny voice, as she asks me: "Did I do that ?" Her tone was inquisitive, yet trying to diffuse what she and I both knew/suspected can only arrive at the conclusion that she inflicted the damage considering the timing of everything from my arrival and breakfast to her arrival and actions. I replied, "You tell me, I wasn't here when this happened, but have been here long enough to be one of the first served @ the IHOP. This is new damage to my vehicle." Her next line was that, "she didn't know and was unaware whether she had or not." I said, "OK, let's see ?", and as I gently grabbed the edge of her door, I opened it and kept slowly moving it towards my car and sure enough, the door, when opened to nearly it's fullest open position/capability aligns perfectly with the edge of her door and the new mark/indention on my vehicle. At this point, I simply made the connection of how wide open that door would need to be, how fast it had to be moving to cause that damage and it triggered the rage and frustration inside me of the last 12 hours of the prior day and this new event. I snapped and sarcastically told her "I wasn't a genius, but everything here lines up and every evidence indicates that you did this." I then asked her "how she could be so oblivious and unaware of the damage that she caused ?" And her next statement really made me go off inside to a new level. She responds, "I wasn't paying attention." At this point in time the husband and other couple arrive and park on the other side of her backed in truck and get out. She totally diverts her attention away from me and she starts the polite discussion one would expect from a husband and wife meeting for breakfast as he walks up to her slightly cracked open truck door and open window. He says good morning and asks her when she arrived ? She responds and right now, I am feeling totally left out of the real issue at hand. I allowed that to transpire I guess, not that I had any say in the matter any way. After these trivial pleasantries are exchanged, the husband says, "I thought you told us you were already inside the restaurant and had a table for all of us ?" This stupid fat fucking bitch had called her husband prior to the altercation and lied to him too. That is when I decided I had heard enough of this "Leave it to Beaver" husband-wife conversation and I interjected. "The reason she isn't in the restaurant and at a table, is because she lied to you about that, and not only that, she prefers to be out in the parking lot, "beating the fuck" out of my car with her door." The husband's look on his face is one of astonishment at how I went from totally being quiet to total absurdity of my comment and rage, instantaneously. Perhaps amazed at the manner in which I addressed him for the first time, even the exact words I used. Now, the stupid fat bitch is trying to get out of the truck, only this time, she is making a cautious attempt to get out of the vehicle. She just can't do it, she literally makes one, two, and then a third attempt before the husband finally cautiously opens the door far enough to let this fat @ss out of the truck. At this point, I commented and made sure they heard me. "Oh this is too fucking rich, we've tried to be polite with one another and your fucking fat ass, stupid bitch of a wife can't even get out of her own fucking car, because she's too fucking fat." "I don't believe you expect me to watch the four of you moron's walk into that restaurant and stuff your fat, stupid little faces without taking care of and paying for the damage." At any rate, the fat ass is eventually let out of her truck. At this point I looked at the husband and told him "We have 2 options, the first one he could pay what a auto detailing to remove the paint damage was worth or option 2, I could get a breaker bar out of the back of my vehicle and take a swipe at his truck door and we could call it even." He indicated the latter wasn't an option, so he then ensued in the negotiation process of paying me off. I got $ 20 for my trouble eventually. At this point he apologizes. I looked at him and said, "You needn't apologize as he wasn't the one responsible. She's a full grown adult and as I see it there are several things that need to come from this to ensure it never happens again. First, she needs to learn how to open a car door, that goes hand in hand with operating one. Second, until she loses a considerable amount of weight, she will need to find a parking spot where her fat@ss can open that car door enough to let herself out without destroying another's vehicle. Third, and I reiterate, she needs to lose that weight, she didn't get that big overnight and taking her to eat at this restaurant so she can stuff her fat little face with eggs, meat, pancakes, and everything else we all are evidently aware she can consume only makes matters worse. Thank you for damaging my $ 33K SUV and ruining it, not to mention ruining my Saturday golf outing, I would say enjoy your group breakfast, but I really can't bring myself to that and say it with any sincerity at this particular moment in time and be that big in spite of what has transpired. I hope I never have to deal with you ever again and with that said, I am off to salvage what I can of this day. I really don't get off on waking up Saturday morning and playing the role of an irate asshole and getting this upset and angry over something that should've never happened in the first place." I don't think he really had much to add at that point, not that I would have listened any way. So we both dismissed ourselves from the engagement/incident. I went to play golf, they went to feed their grossly obese bodies.