Were/are your parents your friend?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Principessa, Mar 13, 2009.

  1. Principessa

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    As you get or got older did one or either of your parents become your friend?....and not so much the "parent" anymore?

    Growing up my parents were just that, parents. They were NOT my friends. Sometime in my 20's I would say that we became friendly, but not like bosom buddies. That's why I have girl friends.

    I have always been and will always be a daddy's girl. We learned when I was quite young, to have each others back against my mothers . . . let's call them eccentricities. As for mom we are pretty close but we don't discuss intimate topics.
     
  2. 8060

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    I spent a lot of time with my mom when I was a young person. I'd say that we were friends at an early age for me (13, 14). In the same breath, I still viewed and depended on her as a parent. I had a lot of peers as friends but I didn't really hang with them. I kicked it with my mom. She was grown. She could do whatever she wanted to do. She protected me from whatever. Whenever she got something, I got something. The best thing about having her as a friend is that she never sugarcoated anything which has been extremely beneficial to me. She didn't keep secrets. If she had to disclose the worse news in the world to my brother and I, she just wrapped it in this motherly tone and that was that. To this day, she's one of my best friends.

    Now, my dad and I are a different story. He's my dad and I love him. In the immortal words of Forrest Gump, "that's all I have to say about that."
     
  3. jason_els

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    Nope. My parents are my parents. I'm much more reserved and careful of what I say and do when I'm around them.
     
  4. whatireallywant

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    My mom became my friend as I got older. When I was growing up she got on a fundamentalist religion kick and that bothered me, but she got out of that and became actually a bit more like ME in her views! I was glad that we spent most of the last two decades as friends. Some of you know that my mom died the week before Christmas of this past year.

    My dad and I are not so much "friends" anymore - which is strange because as a kid I did more with my dad than with my mom - until HE got onto a fundamentalist religion kick. He's still very religious (and plays religious music), but his views are a bit more like mine than his church would probably like - if they knew! :biggrin1: We get along well now and it's a really good thing because he's the only family I'm close to anymore since my mom died, and I'm the only family he's close to. We have a large extended family, but both my parents were the black sheep of THEIR families, and I'm REALLY the black sheep!
     
  5. Principessa

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    As am I. I have friends that got drunk and smoked pot with their parents in high school. That's being way too friendly in my opinion.
     
  6. 8060

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    Now, I agree on this being way too friendly. I never indulged in that kind of activity with my mom or my dad, but we sure used to hang and talk and laugh a lot together. There was always this invisible line was in between my mom & myself. It's still there. Both sides of the line are just very strong in the best way to me.
     
    #6 8060, Mar 13, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2009
  7. SpeedoGuy

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    During my childhood my mother emotionally went to pieces at the death of my father and it took her decades to recover to something resembling stability. For me, it was like they both died. Other life traumas has since intervened to distance us even more.

    That's not to say I don't, on occasion, briefly connect emotionally with my mother. Its nice when that happens but the relationship is more accurately characterized by lengthy silent spells punctutated at random by some friction and discontent.
     
  8. Hand_Solo

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    My mother was a great parent and friend. Her passing was one of the most painful experiences in my life. My father, on the other hand, is a total loser. Haven't spoken to him in almost eight years, and my life is far better for it.
     
  9. Ed69

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    Can you tell me why?How many children do you have,to base this on?
     
  10. nudeyorker

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    Growing up my mother was a parent, my stepfather was a drill master and my father was more like a long lost relative, but by college my mother and I became friends, and late in his life my father and I were able to meet on common ground and understand the complexities of each other.
     
  11. eddyabs

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    My Mum and Dad are definitely my parents...we love each other deeply that is evident, but they are Mum and Dad, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It is I feel more than a friendship....it's the best relationship ever, they will always be there for me, unconditionally, and I for them, it's just wired in like that.

    Don't forget Mother's Day next weekend!! (UK residents).
     
  12. Joll

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    I get on well with them, but they're parents rather than buddies. Get on better w/my Dad to be honest, since we have more in common.

    Think there comes a time when u find your own way - and distance yourself slightly in order to establish your own identity. That doesn't mean to say you can't still be fairly close tho.
     
  13. las000005

    las000005 New Member

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    I am much closer to my mom than my dad. She is a good friend of mine and we get along well. My dad can be an ass sometimes but I still love him. I guess we are just different people.
     
    #13 las000005, Mar 14, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2009
  14. vince

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    No, not really friends. The relationship has had it's ups and downs and I we shared a lot of good times and laughs. But friends? Nope.

    I smoked pot with my daughter when she was 19. No different than having beer with dad when I was 16-17.
     
  15. Bbucko

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    Even with my incredibly high threshold for bullshit, my parents are way too toxic for me to be able to deal, so I don't.
     
  16. Warlock08

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    Amazing, my dad and I developed a sense of mateship in my late 20s. We shared alot of stuff and became vry close to each other. Whilst the "respect your elders" factor was there, when we were together we were like two friends. Had my first drink with him too. He's one GREAT dude, guys!!!
     
  17. onewatcher

    onewatcher Active Member

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    My parents were the greatest people I have known. They taught me to be happy in life, to love who I wanted to love, do for others and always know they loved me. Lost my mom four years ago, dad six months ago. Will never get over the loss.
     
  18. Joll

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    Sorry to hear that man :frown1:
     
  19. BirdinMo

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    My parents are my parents first, friends second.
     
  20. CALAMBO

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    I was middle son...much ignored so no with neither of parents...
    I now have 2 grown childfren...son 29, we are buddies who talk/travel/gamble/hang at clubs...we shared a lady in limo in vegas..not really proud of that, but seemed ok at time....dgtr, 25 more of father than friend...
     
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