Were you too young when you first experienced sex?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by rrkrd, Jul 19, 2010.

  1. rrkrd

    rrkrd Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2009
    Messages:
    163
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    toronto
    Does sexual experience at an early age ( ie. early teens)keep one from developing healthy sexual relationships with others as one matures?

    Or does sex at an early age (ie. late teens ) promote sexual maturity earlier than ones peers of the same age?
     
  2. Bbucko

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    7,413
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sunny SoFla
    It all depends on the person. I waited a bit too long at 17: I was the last virgin among my peers, and I was probably the first to hit puberty (in 5th grade).

    But I don't think it has led to any greater sexual maturity on my part, though I may be misunderstanding the term.
     
  3. D_Glansthorpe Schmuck

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2010
    Messages:
    1,005
    Likes Received:
    2
    Yea I waited till I was 19, and I think its actually kind of messed me up
     
  4. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Messages:
    42,918
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC/Honolulu
    I was sexually active quite young, but I started puberty when I was nine. I don't think it would be easy to qualify "developing healthy sexual relationships with others" unless it was not a consensual sexual experience. In my case it was but in many cases; people who I have spoken to on the subject there were some issues to work through when it was not.
     
  5. HiddenLacey

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2010
    Messages:
    5,470
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    249
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    somewhere
    I'm in agreement with Bbucko. I think it depends on the person. I waited until the week before my 21st birthday. So I tortured myself. I had friends that were having sex at 15, they all turned out ok IMO.
     
  6. fowfer

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2006
    Messages:
    383
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    I beleive sexual experimentaion at any age is good when it is with like age siblings, friends, relatives, self, and spouses. I also feel you could expand on these limits(except adults with children) as long as it is consensual and no coercion or force is involved.

    Even though I started at first memory, 3 to 4 years of age, doing anything you can imagine with self, siblings, and friends, I wish I had done much more. Unfortunately, I became very shy even before puberty so sexual experimentaion was very limited until I got married at 24.
     
  7. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    I have to agree with NudeYorker.

    I think I have healthy sexual relationships now, but my first four consensual sexual relationships were all kinds of messed up, and I think that has more to do with the non-consensual way I lost my virginity combined with my age, not just my age alone. I didn't actually experience an orgasm during intercourse until my 5th sexual partner. I don't talk about that stuff here because I try and keep all my sex talk to stuff that's happened since I turned 18.

    I think I'm pretty much fine now, but there are a few quirks I have. I actually think I'm healthier than most.
     
    #7 petite, Jul 19, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2010
  8. ManlyBanisters

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2007
    Messages:
    12,807
    Likes Received:
    8
    Yes, I think so. Not when I lost my virginity, but my first real boyfriend was 3 years older than me and though we never had penetrative sex I was not ready for the level of sexual contact he wanted.

    Not necessarily - it depends what you mean by sexual experience. In fact I'd say most cases of genuinely consensual sexual experience are positive. I do have grave doubts though that young teens can genuinely consent to sexual activity. I'm not alone in that. That's the reason we have age of consent laws.

    Not necessarily - again, it depends completely on the individual and the exact experience and (as pointed out above) the definition of 'sexual maturity'.

    Question: Why do you say "sexual experience at an early age ( ie. early teens)" in one question and "sex at an early age (ie. late teens )" in the other? Are you specifically trying to differentiate between sex and sexual experience? Even if you are I'm a little confused as to why "at an early age" is early teens in one context and late teens in the other.
     
  9. B_bi_mmf

    B_bi_mmf New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2008
    Messages:
    3,059
    Likes Received:
    20
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    U.S.
    No, I was much too old when I first experienced sex. Several years of potential pleasure and exploration were lost forever. I didn't lose my virginity until age 19.

    On the other hand, I did sublimate my sexual deprivation in high school into accomplishments that opened a lot of doors for me.

    And while in my twenties I made up for lost time, so I really have no regrets. I was able to have experiences with my wife that few others are able to (like MMF and living in a menage), and I have explored my bisexuality to the max.

    I am glad that my wife and I have successfully created an environment in which our kids have felt free to explore their sexuality with their peers at a young age and that they have not been nearly so deprived as I was for several years post puberty.
     
    #9 B_bi_mmf, Jul 19, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2010
  10. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    i was 17.
    i'm still a pervert.
     
  11. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    I think I was too young, because I had my first sexual experience at age seven at the hands of my own mother. She thought it was enlightened of her to teach me to masturbate, but it was invasive and put me off self-pleasure for many years.

    However I have heard that in other cultures, infants are soothed by playing with their genitals. Truly, I do not know-- if it causes an infant joy, yes, and if it makes them cry, no? At any rate I certainly did not try to tell my own children about this. Toddlers find out for themselves what their bodies can do and need only be told not to do it in the middle of the living room floor.

    Our lives as sexual beings begin earlier than puberty. But I must agree with previous posts that exploring should be with partners of the same age and maturity, prepubescent with prepubescent, adolescent with adolescent, and so on. Growing up is fraught with enough obstacles without hothouse forcing it.
     
  12. DV8

    DV8
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2006
    Messages:
    1,071
    Albums:
    5
    Likes Received:
    152
    Gender:
    Male
    Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too young. I was 12 with a girl. And I was 13 with a guy. Big mistake.
     
  13. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2010
    Messages:
    3,291
    Likes Received:
    6
    I was 16,on my wedding night.I'm glad i wasnt underage like alot of my friends were,my night felt special.
     
  14. gretchenweiner

    Joined:
    May 27, 2009
    Messages:
    208
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    south dakota, it's pretty lame
    I barely 14 and he was 15. Way too young and for all the wrong reasons. It was not something I was prepared for physically and emotionally. I decided it wasn't something I was ready to do again, until I was much older (5 years). I have some hang ups with being sexual with someone but losing my virginity hasn't been one of the contributors.
     
  15. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    I was 16 when I lost my virginity (legal age of consent here). I'd decided I was ready to have sex so went looking for someone to lose my virginity with. For me it was the perfect age because it was all about ME deciding I was ready. It was a very active decision. I was the first in my group of friends too so peer pressure wasn't a factor.

    My sexual relationships since have been quite healthy IMO. I've functioned well in both LTRs and FB relationships.
     
  16. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2008
    Messages:
    1,442
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra, Australia
    I was too old at about 20, and that's the one regret I have and can never undo. That first time was good, but I think I would be better-balanced if it started at a younger age.
     
  17. B_Tonnie

    B_Tonnie New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2008
    Messages:
    540
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    DUE TO MY WORK, BASED BETWEEN AUSTRALIA/NEW ZEALAN
    My first time was at 15, he was 30. We were together for 11 great years, til i lost him in a car wreck in melborne. No regrets whatsoever. He rocked my world.
     
  18. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm so sorry! That sounds awful!
     
Draft saved Draft deleted