Actually, the definition of a fetish is "anything to which one gives excessive devotion".
A fetish is often considered to be akin to "need". In other words, the person with the prediliction often "needs" the act or item to experience sexual pleasure.
For instance, in the world of BDSM, there are those who do not want any type of sexual penetration or manipulation of the genitals. They orgasm purely from an act, such as being spanked. However, some only want to give or receive oral sex. A woman who orgasms only from sucking c**k could be said to have a fetish for it.
It's when it goes from the occasional fantasy and enactment to a "must" for a large percentage of that person's sexual activity.
Personally, I love to be dominated, and yes, I love to have my p***y spanked. With a hand, with the flat leather of a belt, but I am not into pain. It's mental.
However, I do not need it, and can go long periods without it, so I wouldn't consider it to be my "fetish". However, I do need a sexually aggressive man, one that I consider being capable of being dominant. Some may say that is my fetish.
