What’s Up With Guys Using The Word “slut”?

LaFemme

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There’s a thread in ‘Ask a Straight Man’ asking whether guys would prefer a virgin or a slut. Pretty disappointing thread. The OP is long gone, but guys are still posting to it.

In my opinion, there’s no such thing as a ‘slut’. I would never call another woman a slut as an insult. It’s a misogynist word. I think it says more about the person using the word than the target.

I own my sexuality. I’ll sleep with whom I please, with how many men I please, whenever I please. That’s nobody’s business but mine. Does that make me a “slut”? A woman with experience? Sex positive? I will never share the number of male and female lovers I’ve had. Could be 5. Could be 1000. Nobody’s business.

So what’s your opinion? What the hell is a “slut”? Date a slutty guy or a virgin? :eek:
 

Enid

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Because slut can be used for both someone who denies sex (I've been called a slut for rejecting a guy before) and for someone who has "too much" sex, the word is a power play of judgment on women's sexuality.

It implies that a woman should be having only a certain amount of sex. Women cannot ever reach this expectation, as their sexuality and the amount and desire for sex has been shamed and publicly judged and examined for generations. Bring in the other uses of the word that are not directly relevant to sexual behavior (clothing, makeup, flirting) and it starts to really seem as if "slut" is just a judgment thrown at a woman that someone doesn't believe is behaving the way a woman should.
 

LaFemme

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Because slut can be used for both someone who denies sex (I've been called a slut for rejecting a guy before) and for someone who has "too much" sex, the word is a power play of judgment on women's sexuality.

It implies that a woman should be having only a certain amount of sex. Women cannot ever reach this expectation, as their sexuality and the amount and desire for sex has been shamed and publicly judged and examined for generations. Bring in the other uses of the word that are not directly relevant to sexual behavior (clothing, makeup, flirting) and it starts to really seem as if "slut" is just a judgment thrown at a woman that someone doesn't believe is behaving the way a woman should.
It’s such a judgemental term, isn’t it. Who the hell gets to determine what that “certain amount of sex” is? It also seems that we if “get more” than the guy, we might qualify as a slut. It diminishes us in their eyes. At least in the eyes of some men.
 

LaFemme

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I speculate that because a man feels worthless he wants to define as worthless a woman with whom to have sex. He doesn't want to qualify.
He wants to feel superior. No real, good man would define any woman as a slut.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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It's pure jealousy.

Every time someone calls me a slut, it because I'm actually getting fucked and they're not. Even when women use the term it's because they are jealous of the fact that I'm not ashamed of my sexuality, but they are.
 

AlteredEgo

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To let others tell it, I've been a slut since my tits appeared, purely by virtue of having grown them. It's a meaningless word. I wasn't a slut when I was born, when my body claimed its luscious shape, nor when my proclivities led to promiscuity. I was never a slut when I rejected advances from any man or woman, no matter how gently or gruffly. It's not a thing. I choose because I can, and I choose based upon my needs and desires how and when to express what parts of my sexuality, and with whom. I do so without guile, and without malice. Therefore, I apologize for none of it. Not one fucking bit of it.
 
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1365373

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What definition of slut would make sense? Maybe a woman that that was very depressed and even suicidal, had very low self-esteem, was usually drunk and accepted any proposition from any man with no standards or judgement in a vain hope that sex with no regard for safety or disease, no matter how abusive, would make her feel better. Maybe that would be the extreme of a slut scale.

Men generally means something else, however, because few men would be attracted to a woman fitting the above.
 

AlteredEgo

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Men generally means something else, however, because few men would be attracted to a woman fitting the above.
Not few enough. You'd be surprised. Then there's also the men too drunk to realize how vulnerable she is.

And why should we call her a slut? The use of the word is always intending to shame a person. Why should we kick when she's already down? Do we need to feel superior to her? She's not a shameful person. The shame is in having no compassion for her.
 
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693987

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What definition of slut would make sense? Maybe a woman that that was very depressed and even suicidal, had very low self-esteem, was usually drunk and accepted any proposition from any man with no standards or judgement in a vain hope that sex with no regard for safety or disease, no matter how abusive, would make her feel better. Maybe that would be the extreme of a slut scale.

Men generally means something else, however, because few men would be attracted to a woman fitting the above.

Why the fuck would depression be a factor in calling anyone a slut or not? A huge percentage of the population deals with mental health stuff. Also, why just what a woman does = slutty? Men can have low standards and be promiscuous too.
 
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1365373

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Not few enough. You'd be surprised. Then there's also the men too drunk to realize how vulnerable she is.

And why should we call her a slut? The use of the word is always intending to shame a person. Why should we kick when she's already down? Do we need to feel superior to her? She's not a shameful person. The shame is in having no compassion for her.

True.
 
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1365373

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Why the fuck would depression be a factor in calling anyone a slut or not? A huge percentage of the population deals with mental health stuff. Also, why just what a woman does = slutty? Men can have low standards and be promiscuous too.

I'm not suggesting we really use the word in this fashion. The word has too much bad history to use at all.
 
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1365373

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I was trying to describe a possible psycho-sexual pathology. Seems to me it would always include depression and certainly would apply to men as well.
 
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693987

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I was trying to describe a possible psycho-sexual pathology. Seems to me it would always include depression and certainly would apply to men as well.

My promiscuous times in the past weren't because I was depressed, suicidal, drunk (or using any substances other than moderate caffeine intake), etc. I still had multiple friends with benefits at a given time, and otherwise had casual sex. By the standards of those who were jealous, insecure, or otherwise hateful little shits, I've been a slut in my past. None of it had to do with being intoxicated or depressed. I chose to not have a monogamous or other relationship. I chose people who met my needs and whose needs I met. No one got hurt and I have zero shame or guilt.

Basically, the entire "slut" thing is a bunch of bullshit. Especially trying to pair it with mental health. If someone has a mental health condition, that is its own thing.
 

AlteredEgo

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My promiscuous times in the past weren't because I was depressed, suicidal, drunk (or using any substances other than moderate caffeine intake), etc. I still had multiple friends with benefits at a given time, and otherwise had casual sex. By the standards of those who were jealous, insecure, or otherwise hateful little shits, I've been a slut in my past. None of it had to do with being intoxicated or depressed. I chose to not have a monogamous or other relationship. I chose people who met my needs and whose needs I met. No one got hurt and I have zero shame or guilt.

Basically, the entire "slut" thing is a bunch of bullshit. Especially trying to pair it with mental health. If someone has a mental health condition, that is its own thing.
Same here. I just really like to fuck. I'm nearly always sober for sexual contact, and most of the times I wasn't, that was about experimentation. There's some kind of mushroom curse on my sexual agenda. Every time I cop some and give them to a man to hold for a future experimental romp, something happens and I have to cut them completely out of my life and forfeit satisfying my curiosity. I've got to learn to get my mushrooms back before I drop a lame dude. Anyway. I'm not a slut, I'm just friendly.
 
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1365373

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Clearly, the psycho-sexual condition I was postulating wouldn't apply to promiscuity per se. Back in my active days in pick-up bars it wouldn't have applied to me either though I was quite promiscuous.
 
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AlteredEgo

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Clearly, the psycho-sexual condition I was postulating wouldn't apply to promiscuity per se. Back in my active days in pick-up bars it wouldn't have applied to me either though I was quite promiscuous.
I hear you. But sickness is just sickness. I've never seen "slut" in use without shaming being the intention. It's no good shaming an unwell person.