I'm not okay with my looks, physique, or penis size. Those three are the biggest source of my insecurities, but there are others.
Herein lies the crux of the issue. I read your posts all the time and so frequently I get the sense that you're in great need of reassurance. Other people tend to shy away from needy people because that need is like a bottomless pit all the reassurance in the world won't satisfy so others feel that reassurance is wasted. It's OK to reach out and ask for help. That's a natural and normal part of social interaction. People like to feel needed. What they also need to know is that their help will be appreciated and adopted by you, adding to your work to resolve the issues.
Nobody here can get you pumped-up or make your beautiful or get you a bigger penis. They can tell you what exercises and weights and gyms are good, how to cut your hair or even, if you have a serious issue, how to shop for plastic surgery. We can even show you how to PE to make your dick bigger. What we can't do is accomplish those tasks for you.
Physician, heal thyself. We can't make you love yourself either. That's entirely up to you once the computer is turned-off.
If you want to feel loved, if you want to feel adequate, if you want to feel self-confident, then you have to tackle each of those issues head on (without applying directly to the forehead :biggrin1

. People want to support those who help themselves. Nobody minds helping a guy who has worked hard all his life only to lose his job and then busts his ass to find another one. Everybody minds helping out a guy who sits on the couch all day whining about he's never going to find another job. Even if you aren't all the things you want to be, you've got to work hard to make those things happen and, in doing so, you'll attract people who want to help you. Fake it if you have to. Seriously. Just pretending you're doing well when you're not helps train your brain to think positively. The more you do it, the more you really believe it.
I came here a total turkey who just wanted to hang out with the eagles to see what it was like. Low and behold, not all the eagles were beautiful nor was I such a turkey. Sure I complain sometimes about having a smaller penis, about crap that happens in my life. It's good to vent frustrations. What I do not do is let those things control me. In that, LPSG has been exceptionally valuable. I've met people who like me for me, not my dick in the same way I like them for who they are, not their dick, brobdingnagian or otherwise. I do know that I'm good in bed with both sexes and my cock head is great at prostate massages during anal intercourse and I've given guys convulse orgasms doing that alone. Not sure I could do that with a bigger dick. Do I still want one? Am I still working to get one? You bet. I want a bigger dick for myself, not for anyone else. Do I want to lose weight? Sure. Do I want to look good and feel better about myself? Without question.
I know what I have to do in my life to fix my issues and I'm working on them. Like everyone else I don't always succeed but I keep trying anyway. One thing I did was post a dick shot here. Yeah I was embarrassed at first yet I felt I had to do it if I was going to conquer my fears about my self image. I'm right up there to be rated with nearly everyone else and I'm OK with that. My penis is a big part of my masculinity but it's not the be all and end all of who I am any more than it is for anyone else here. So my dick is flopping around out here in LPSG and to me it's like walking around in public stark naked. I've gotten used to it and guess what, people actually look at my face when they talk to me here, not my dick.
We ALL, and I mean ALL of us have insecurities. Look at this thread. Some really popular LPSG guys with great looks and big dicks are posting about the problems in their lives. The difference between you and these guys is that they don't dwell on their issues here. They come to have a good time, spark interesting conversation, and maybe rub one out. If we hear about issues they're generally limited and kept to the thread. Overdumping your heart can backfire once other people realize their ability to help you is surpassed by your issues. They'd like to help, but feel unqualified. They also don't want to get dragged into the quicksand of someone else's problems.
I know when I read your posts that I very often see you working in one complaint or another about yourself and I know that I often don't want to reply because a sixth sense tells me that I'm not going to resolve anything. I wager other people feel that too. What is happily offered as a pep-talk turns into a pity party and then everyone leaves.
We can't tell you you're handsome, in-shape, or hung if you don't believe you even
could be any of those things.
The crazy part of the whole thing is that you're likely not Quasimodo or hung like a mouse. Rarely are we so deficient as we think ourselves to be and rarely as glorious as we think we deserve. There's a happy middle in there somewhere. You're so hard on yourself and that's tough for us to take. We can't stop it no matter how many people have time and again said nice things to you so why bother saying nice things at all?
I know all this because I've been where you are and trust me, every day it's a struggle not to fall back into it. I know very well what I'm saying is harsh to take as the truth usually is. One of my shrinks once told me, "You know better than any of us what major depression is because you're living it." He was right. For me, a combination of Anafrinil, Xanax, and, later, Effexor got me going. They gave me the strength to steady the ship so I could take the helm and manage the storm. I wasn't safe by any means, but at least now I can direct the ship. Now I don't think I'm bad looking at all, my penis is quite servicable if on the smaller side of average, and I'm losing weight to get my ass in shape. I also know I'm intelligent, well-educated, possess good manners, and am someone worth knowing. I know I will make some guy very, very happy. That doesn't mean I still am not plagued by doubts, I certainly am. The difference is I can now manage them; understand which are reasonable and which aren't then act accordingly.
Guess what? I never thought I could do that. Ever. Even went so far as to try killing myself. Two psych hospital stays and a half-way house later, I realized things weren't so bad. My brain chemistry and upbringing were my own worst enemies. When necessary, I take a pill and find myself able to cope. Pills don't solve issues, just give you the quietude of mind to do so. That's cool by me. Life isn't easy.
If you really want people to be with as friends, to appreciate who you are, then you have to start being a friend to yourself and appreciate who you are. Nobody can give of themselves when they believe there is no part of them worth giving and that's what people are sensing in you. Not always, but frequently.
Few things I suggest, being in your position myself and knowing MANY others who've had it far worse than either you or I have.
- Get thee to a shrink. A good one. Explain all your symptoms and ask to try out an antidepressant. Not all work well for all people. It'll be trial and error until you find one that lets you look yourself in the mirror when you get up in the morning. If you can do that then it's working. As another poster pointed out, happiness is not like a bipolar on a mania. If something doesn't work, SAY so. Insist on trying all kinds of different things until you find one that's right for you. You have to be responsible for your care at all times.
- Get thee to a doctor and get a full physical. Not just the usual chest check and knee tap. Then ask the doctor what level of exercise you're up to when the results come back. Ask for a referral to an endocrinologist or andrologist. Have your testosterone levels checked (both free and bound). Get both numbers and if they're low, discuss what therapies you can try.
- Get thee to a gym. Follow what your GP tells you about exercise and work with a personal trainer at least once a week for the next three months to develop a routine that works for you to get the results you want. When you have a body you're reasonably satisfied with, then assess what to do about your face if you think it still needs something. Be nude in the gym. If I could force myself to use a gang shower at 14 despite having the smallest penis in the dorm, then you can too. In which case...
- Get thee to the gayest styling salon in town or even big city. Get a consult with an aesthetician to go over what you can do to improve your skin tone and hair. Buy good products that match your skin type and use them.
- Get thee to a top-rated store where there are styling consultants. Talk to them about what looks good on your body type, with your coloration, age, job, and style. Get at least one outfit that you feel makes you look great.
- Get thee to Thunder's and click on the wiki link at the top of the page. Read-up on PE and how to do it. Then do it religiously. At the very least you'll get better flaccid hang and stronger erections if you do the newbie routine the right way. Watch for new membership openings. Join. You'll meet a lot of great guys, just as nice and as friendly as here only with far fewer trolls and voyeurs. They will guide you on a quest for a big dick. Or come here and chat about it on the, Making It Bigger, forum. That's what it's there for.
I pray that you will take this to heart. I offer it with hope and empathy. You have to force yourself to do it. No one else can. We will cheer you on but you've gotta give us something to work with.