What actually attracts you to men? what is homosexuality?

[Exbiker]

I know homosexuality includes lesbians but this is ask a gay man, so let's limit this one to that

What I want to know is, what is it that you actually find attractive in men? I know it might be more than one thing, but I want to get beyond it being "everything" ...

I am gay myself so I may log my own views at some point but I'm more interested in how other people see it...

I think this question is quite important for us, and how we fit in - or not - with the societies around us.

Please respond to the poll and then say whatever you like, in a free form message ...

Nb if you want something like "kindness" or "niceness" or "sense of humour"' please log those under intelligence, because they are closely related to that and it seems to be limited to ten options... I'm wanting some written responses as well as poll responses if possible.

I hope this will be interesting for some of us, and that any discussion can be polite and objective. Thank you

 

[1g5463]

It's something ineffable. But I would have to say the awe that a man exudes.


Are you also counting ftm?

 

[Brian S]

I mean, yeah, everything. LOL I don't know how to break it down but I will try. Obviously, sexually speaking, I love men's bodies. I have widely varied tastes, so there isn't anything in specific that I love, other than...all of it. I voted for the bottom four options, because of that. I like shaved head to long hair, penis size doesn't really matter to me, I like ripped guys and stockier guys, smooth or hairy.

So for me, while physical qualities overall are obviously important, they're not the REASON I like men. I connect with men. My wavelength is just geared towards men, for lack of better term. Yes, body part for body part, I like men way better than women since I'm gay. But it's so much deeper; the strength, the masculinity, the emotional connection, the essence of a man. I'm not very attracted to overly feminine guys for this reason. I don't need a guy to be a hunter or overhaul the engine in my SUV, but I'm into dance club, body glitter twinks either. I like well-rounded men. Someone who can bake a cake and use a hammer as well. Someone who can watch Titanic or 28 Days Later. Intelligence is highly important to me; I can't deal with shallow people. I like someone who takes care of themselves but isn't a gym bunny or roided out muscle-head. Someone who can appreciate dance music of the 90's but also The Beatles. Mutli-faceted individuals. I guess this just developed into me talking about what I look for in a man, but I suppose that's kind of the point. Someone being well-rounded with a variety of interests - not obsessions - is what most attracts me to a guy. I'm not into dramatic, gossipy guys, and if your biggest worry of the day is what happened on the Kardashians, then I'm uninterested. Penis size, body shape, hair style, clothing, all that is important, but very much secondary to me.

 

[328982]

Masculinity

 

[henry777]

It's hard to say. Yes I'm attracted to everything that "defines" a man; muscularity, deep voice, masculinity, physique, braveness, etc. However you can also find some of these qualities in a woman. So lets say that I found a man that I'm deeply, madly in love with. He has everything that makes him a "man" except he has a vagina instead of a penis, would I still be with him? Probably not. My initial response to this answer was a penis. But what if the scenario is that a man has a penis but he's a cross dresser? I wouldn't be able to date him either. Maybe I'm too judgmental but I guess my answer would be the whole package (all of the above).

 

[keenobserver]

Wow - what a thought provoking post. I think Brian S summed it up as well, or better than I could.

 

[concupisys]

i'll never tell specifically..... you'll know i find you attractive when i knock you down and lay on you.....

 

[hvdude]

The question is about attraction. Of course looks are important, but attraction has to go both ways, he has to be as attracted to me as I am to him. As I get to know a guy I find the subtle ways he takes opportunities to touch me (tap on the shoulder, pat on the back, etc.) that let me know he's interested. I believe humans, like all animals, release pheromones that are somewhat undetectable yet present in a man's smell, which heightens the attraction. Then more physical contact follows: he has to be a good kisser and use his hands skillfully. Arousal follows and ultimately intercourse. So my answer: all of the above.

 

[Notaes]

A nice clean handsome guy with a day or two of stubble with right amount of chest hair groomed very well. Manners and knows how to conduct himself. Not arrogant!

 

[Bobstern]

I seek someone to protect and take care of me so I can let go of the controls. I am tired of doing all the protecting. As a child I had to fend for myself and as an adult always looked upon as the strong one to take care of things. It seems natural I am attracted to big strong tough guys and not whiny ladies.

 

[Zak Bull]

I clicked on a few of my top things... Smile, intelligence, etc. But certainly can be attracted to just about *any* of the categories listed... in many different ways. Fit guys, chunky guys, tall, short, whatever... really just comes down to the individual guy, and his unique character.
If there is maybe one over-all characteristic, it would be a fairly strong sense of masculinity, but not way over board. Masculine with a good heart, sense of humour, kindness, a bit artistic. That kind of guy.

 

[pwrdick]

Above all it is a feeling of knowing I can completely relate to and connect with another man in a way I never could with a woman. From an early age (5 or 6), I felt attracted to men, wanted to be close to them and fantasized about situations where one man was really close to me. I never had ANY of those types of feelings about girls or women. After I went through puberty and discovered porn, I was always fixated sexually on the men and what they were doing (to themselves or to women). But, it was always grounded on my childhood's original emotional attraction to men as the ideal object to connect with.
I was a 'late bloomer' in sexual activity. I lost my virginity at 22 to the woman I married 18 months later. While I enjoyed the physical sensations of sex and loved cumming in her, emotionally I never felt as close to her (even though I really wanted to) as I naturally felt towards another man. So it wasn't long after I lost my virginity to her that I started playing with men. There was no contest in which felt natural and comfortable to me but I felt trapped by both guilt and social mores to marry her. Playing on the side with men suffixed for a few years until I realized how unfair I was both to her and to myself. We're both MUCH happier now (and still friends).

 

[tangas]

For me its sexy underwear thongs, bikini briefs and speedos

 

[Exbiker]

I'm pleased to see that intelligence is doing well, and general body / fitness.

I'm not so sure about hair being so important, because I'm ( shaved ) bald. But sometimes, important as it is, truth hurts.

I might be ok with face shape, I guess. Mine is one of those heart shaped ones.

But the most astonishing news is the relatively low score for penis size ( or rather "look"). This is on a site DEDICATED to the central importance of large penises, so I think that's quite significant ... Probably ...

 

[933295]

The most important thing to me is that I be connected emotionally and physically to a guy. This needs to be mutual attraction otherwise it doesn't work for me. Being bisexual I think I lot of my attraction to certain men is something that's hard to put into words. Why are we interested in any person? It's a rather complicated question. But I do feel as we get older we're more clear about it.

 

[DavidXL]

For me, a person's eyes can be a big part of attraction.

 

[Exbiker]

For me, a person's eyes can be a big part of attraction.

 

[bi_todd]

For me, a person's eyes can be a big part of attraction.

Blue ones?

 

[Exbiker]

So whose eyes win your heart?

Mine were blue too

 

[tncentaur]

I am attracted to a man by the way he moves, holds himself, and how easy he is with himself--someone who is comfortable and easy in his own skin. I like a man who looks you in the eye and isn't self-conscious about doing it. He puts himself forward with his eye contact, doesn't 'take' with his eye contact. He projects openness, confidence, and maleness from within--it's not practiced, it's not an act. He just is what he is. Genuine and free...