What are gay bars like?

[B_RedDude]

I would recommend finding other ways to meet guys, at least for dating/relationships. If you just want to have a couple of drinks with a bud, fine.

In general, I don't see guys in gay bars with whom I'd be interested in having more than a casual conversation. In a place with a 100 people, there MIGHT be one or two.

It's true that I've lived in San Francisco for a good portion of my adult life, so maybe I have a skewed view, but I've experienced bars in a few other places in the States on an ongoing basis. D.C. was the only place that I've found that even had a hint of quality people in the bars.

Okay, so this might sound stupid and naive, but, I've never been before and I wanted a general sense of what they were like from people that have.

I've only recently come out, and so haven't had any opportunities to go, but I know I will soon, and wanted to have a heads up.

I'm sure the images I have are horrible cliches and stereotypes - currently it involves a lot of leather (not that there's anything wrong with that!).

Anyway, I don't mean to be patronizing, I've been to all sorts of (I guess straight?) bars before, but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask.

 

[midlifebear]

It doesn't seem to matter where you go in the USA, Europe, Mexico, or South America, but all bars -- especially gay bars -- are thick with smoke. If you ever make it to Barcelona you might enjoy G, which is a little bar on Calle Muntaner 16. You'll run into a mixed crowd of young/old gay/lesbian, and quite often the young woman they've hired as a bartender forgets how many drinks you've had so you just give her what you think is fair. But Spain isn't big on gay bars with "happy hour" where you can drink and meet others in the afternoon. Most bars don't open until 10:30 or 11:00 PM and then close around 2:00 to 3:00 AM.

However, regardless of country or city I recommend dressing in Levis, boots, and a T-shirt and checking out the leather bars. I've found the clientele in leather bars are less into playing games and tend to be genuinely friendly.

 

[B_RedDude]

There is a law against smoking indoors at bars in the entire state of California. The law is probably at least almost 10 years old.

It doesn't seem to matter where you go in the USA...but all bars -- especially gay bars -- are thick with smoke.

 

[accemb]

There is a law against smoking indoors at bars in the entire state of California. The law is probably at least almost 10 years old.

Same in New York and New Jersey.

 

[ericbythebay]

What kind of bar are you looking for? Gay bars offer much more variety than straight bars.

 

[alx]

The one I went in was pretty good actually. Didn't ID me on the way in nor at the bar, seemed the same as a straight bar apart from being looked at by guys.

The toilets were unisex which I found strange but that's a good thing I suppose. Oh plus there were people making out left, right and centre.

 

[tachyon]

lots and lots of guys.

 

[D_Chocho_Lippz]

well I like Gay bars better than straight bars.

For these reasons...

1. Hardly EVER any fights.
2. Better music ...BY FAR
3. Cheaper and stronger drinks.
4. Less attitude for the most part. *Especially in Bear type bars*
5. usually you can wear whatever you want and not have to dress up or anything like that. Most better straight bars you have to dress up or dressy casual. *dancing and getting sweaty in "club clothes" isn't as comfortable as jeans and a t-shirt.
6. All bathrooms are unisex. Girls use the guys and guys use the girls......

I think OCM hit it pretty straight on. I'd just like to add a few more things.

This is my review as a straight guy. I go to gay bars/clubs with my gay friends frequently.
1. If you want it or allow it, you can get quite a bit in a gay bar. Even as a straight guy I seem to get touched, approached, complimented, fondled, etc. Again, if you allow it, it very well may happen. Not a lot of people sit alone from what I see.
2. Because of OCM's #3, I've seen more people get sick at gay bars than straight bars. In fact, the first time I went to a 100% gay club, as soon as I walked in a guy barfed all over another guys shoes. The odd thing was... both of them acted like nothing happened.
3. There is actually a lot of straight women there (good for me)... and some trannys that look better than the women (not good for me).
4. Almost everyone dances at the club. Not that you will stand out if you don't, but be ready to jump in and just shake your thang. I don't think anyone cares how you dance.
5. At clubs the go-gos will do far more than their female counterparts (who just shake their cans).

There ya go... my little review... but OCM got the most important ones... (although I may disagree with the better music... just depends on what bar/club you go to!)

 

[B_jeepguy2]

There has to be a story here. You are 90% gay, you live on the east coast, and you've never been in a gay bar?

You must be one hot dude.

Yeah the story is that I don't get laid much. LOL I used to be hot as hell back when I was in college and never had a problem hooking up with dudes at the gyms on campus, online, and even at str8 college bars. Now I am in my mid 30s and the twinks at the local colleges are not into someone my age (unless they have a daddy or big brother fetish). Most guys in my age group don't interest me either so I don't bother...would rather just look at porn use my hand instead. LOL

 

[Chase1600]

Yeah the story is that I don't get laid much. LOL I used to be hot as hell back when I was in college and never had a problem hooking up with dudes at the gyms on campus, online, and even at str8 college bars. Now I am in my mid 30s and the twinks at the local colleges are not into someone my age (unless they have a daddy or big brother fetish). Most guys in my age group don't interest me either so I don't bother...would rather just look at porn use my hand instead. LOL

I don’t know dude. It is your life; porn has its place – I get that - and I’m sure you got a great hand, but……

Mid 30s? You are a twink in my book. I’m old, not particularly hung, keep really fit, maintain a look and some attitude, not to mention an excess of BS, and I know it’s nuts, but I’m still out there hooking up and having a good time.

Sometimes guys love getting seduced, you know. They don’t think of it that way, but it’s the truth. You get ‘em talking about themselves and flirt with them and tease them, it’s only a matter of time before something’s getting unzipped.

And so what if they shoot you down or walk away. How insulted can a guy be if you let him know he’s hot? So long as you’re not stalking, groping, or actually drooling, they like it.

You’re too young for the daddy fetish dudes. Wait another 20 years and that’s just the start. Keep yourself fit and sharp looking, you need running shoes to stay ahead of them.

It’s all good man – well that’s not true – but it’s never all bad.

 

[Bbucko]

I practically grew up in gay bars; I went to my first one at the tender age of 16

Like people have said before, there are lots of different types of bars which appeal to different types of guys.

Most dance clubs are for younger guys and twinks; the same goes for "see and be seen" stand-and-stare bars. These places are usually a little more dressy-uppy, too, if only in terms of expensive jeans and shirts.

Most cities still have piano bars, especially in NYC. Guys stand around, get drunk, and sing along to whatever the piano player's playing, which are usually old standards and showtunes. Most of the guys who go to piano bars are 40+.

Cruisy bars are usually for guys who are 30+, and some are definitely friendlier than others. Most of these places are tailored to specific themes like bears or youngish professionals. Anyone not part of the targeted demographic will probably find himself ignored.

Sports bars are becoming more popular and are very mixed in terms of gay men and lesbians, which is kinda unusual. Most lesbians avoid gay men's bars.

I agree with everyone in saying that the friendliest people and the best, most intelligent conversations happen in leather bars, people are also the most down-to-earth in leather bars, too. As leather is an older man's game, expect the average age range to be from 35-70, with most guys in their 40s and 50s.

Incidentally, most leather bars are actually leather/denim/fetish/uniform bars. As MLB stated above, the best way to dress in such a place is Levis, boots (or at least black shoes), and a T shirt or wifebeater unless you happen to have enough gear to really make a leather impact. Seeing as though you've never been to a gay bar, that seems pretty unlikely.

When I was in my teens, 20s and 30s, I'd meet interesting and provocative guys all the time in bars. But since now I prefer to play sober, I'm more likely to meet guys online. Bars are now primarily a social outlet for me, but also work. I've worked in a gay bar for the last four years.

 

[CAM4257]

I really do appreciate all the responses; this is exactly what I wanted to know.

 

[516778]

I like this post as well it's really helpful for me as well. I've never been to a gay bar and so hopefully that'll change real soon.

 

[bigbull29]

Gay clubs can have attitude, particularly with the young muscle queens (Splash bar NYC comes to mind).

The vibe is totally different in a gay bar/club than a straight one. I cannot explain it. It's just very, very different.

Leather bars are friendlier than the dance clubs, but they can be clique-like, as anything. Some of the men are very "thick" with each other (not talking dick size) and don't let you in their circle overnight. But I don't go to clubs/bars to get in a "circle" (not even a "circle jerk" LOL).

I heard some of the bars on Christopher St. in NYC are quite friendly and less pretentious.

Each gay club/bar has its own character, etc. And the dance clubs are very different than the leather "Eagle-type" bars, for example.

Gay clubs have the best music and dancing anywhere - no question about it!

Despite my critiques, I feel much more comfortable in a gay club/bar than a straight one. But I don't like persistent unwanted advances, but nothing fun comes without a price.

Straight clubs often bore me to tears.

It's been over a year since I went to gay clubs in NYC. I need to make a return.

 

[sexplease]

I love gay bars. oh they're all shiny a bright and when the guys fart it's glittery and sparkles and smell like cotton candy, and when it dissipates everyone cries.

 

[maxcok]

I love gay bars. oh they're all shiny a bright and when the guys fart it's glittery and sparkles and smell like cotton candy, and when it dissipates everyone cries.

:chairfall::lmao:

 

[B_Nick8]

You should hear my rendition of "I've Never Been To Me" - a winner every time!

Funny; I've been to paradise and I've also been to you. :biggrin1:

 

[bigbull29]

I'm tribal house nut (the darker the better), so the gay clubs/bars lure me for that reason only.

 

[Hoss_C]

n

 

[B_Marius567]

no one will hit on me at a gay bar my angel is keeping me from having sex so I nothing to weary about.