What are the essential qualities of masculinity that you find attractive?

wintry_mix

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As a man -- and worse, a man with an active sex drive -- I can't help but notice what bumbling, single-minded, neanderthalic fools we tend to be. Which has always, therefore, begged the question: what exactly are the essential qualities of masculinity, or men in general, that women are attracted to? And how do the physical elements of attraction balance out against the non-physical aspects?
 

HiddenLacey

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Unfortunately I believe you've asked a question that will have many different replies. Women are all different, we all enjoy different things about men.

In general, for myself,

Intelligent
Faithful
Kind
Funny, but doesn't have a nasty sarcastic sense of humor and he isn't rude.
Isn't already married to his job or another person.
Attentive, doesn't throw a fit if he forgot his phone and he doesn't answer it while we are out together. His time is more important than making money.
Hard working, unemployment is unattractive to me, so is a man that's collecting unemployment.
Doesn't smoke or do drugs. Extremely light drinker, if at all.
Fun, meaning no matter what we are doing, he's going to have a good time.


I suppose the only real physical needs are,

He has to be clean. That doesn't mean I care if he leaves his clothes on the floor some of the time or stuff laying around. I mean CLEAN, he has to smell clean *meaning soap and skin not fake smell,* take good care of his teeth, skin, NAILS *shudders dirty nails.*
It's pretty important that he work out, unless he has a physically trying job. Fitness is essential.

I like men with big hands. I'm not sure why, something about the way they look and feel against my body.
I prefer dark hair, though it's not a must have.
Taller than I am.
Attractive to me, which is something I can't really put into words. I find that the more I talk to someone the more or less attractive he becomes. It's incredibly rare that I find a man attractive based on the way he looks.

I prefer men that are good at taking control of any situation.
 

IntoxicatingToxin

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There aren't many personality traits that I would consider to be uniquely masculine. In fact, I can't really think of any at all. Any descriptive word that could be considered a personality trait could belong to either a man or woman.

Having said that, there are certain traits I like my men to have because it makes them seem more masculine to me. (Of course, some of these same traits might be desirable in a woman from a straight mans POV because it makes them seem more feminine... )

Confident.
Honest.
Able to express emotions.
Assertive.
Positive attitude.
Intelligent.
Funny.
Social.
Hard-working.
Able to take control when necessary.

Like Laidey, I find a man more or less attractive the more I get to know him. When I first saw my current boyfriend for the first time, I thought, "Hey, he's kinda cute." Now when I see him, he appears to me like a Greek God and I swear I can hear angels singing... He looks exactly the same as he did when we met. :tongue: I typically like guys that are taller than me by at least a couple inches (I'm 5'8"), dark hair, and I love body hair as well. I've never turned a guy down for not having body hair but if I had my choice, I'd pick a furry guy any day. I'm not overly concerned with body type, really. My current boyfriend is 6'2" and weighs about 250lbs, but I've dated guys that weighed up to 330lbs. As long as I find you attractive, that's what matters. And like Laidey said, that's something that's unique to each person really. You don't have to fit certain criteria for me to find you attractive. Big hands are nice as well, I enjoy them. I think that's partly because I have big hands myself.

If you're curious, this is what attracted me to my boyfriend. He has an incredible laugh. His smile melts me. He has a super sexy mop of dark curly hair that I could run my fingers through all day long. He's super easy to talk to and is open to talking about anything. He's absolutely hysterical and never fails to make me laugh, sometimes so hard that I can barely breathe. He always says the right thing at the right time. He actually listens to me when I speak. He texts with proper grammar. I know that sounds stupid, but I really fucking hate "text speak". In the first few days of knowing him, these were the things I noticed the most.
 

LaFemme

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Unfortunately I believe you've asked a question that will have many different replies. Women are all different, we all enjoy different things about men.

In general, for myself,

Intelligent
Faithful
Kind
Funny, but doesn't have a nasty sarcastic sense of humor and he isn't rude.
Isn't already married to his job or another person.
Attentive, doesn't throw a fit if he forgot his phone and he doesn't answer it while we are out together. His time is more important than making money.
Hard working, unemployment is unattractive to me, so is a man that's collecting unemployment.
Doesn't smoke or do drugs. Extremely light drinker, if at all.
Fun, meaning no matter what we are doing, he's going to have a good time.


I suppose the only real physical needs are,

He has to be clean. That doesn't mean I care if he leaves his clothes on the floor some of the time or stuff laying around. I mean CLEAN, he has to smell clean *meaning soap and skin not fake smell,* take good care of his teeth, skin, NAILS *shudders dirty nails.*
It's pretty important that he work out, unless he has a physically trying job. Fitness is essential.

I like men with big hands. I'm not sure why, something about the way they look and feel against my body.
I prefer dark hair, though it's not a must have.
Taller than I am.
Attractive to me, which is something I can't really put into words. I find that the more I talk to someone the more or less attractive he becomes. It's incredibly rare that I find a man attractive based on the way he looks.

I prefer men that are good at taking control of any situation.

Pretty much exactly my list. Right down to hair colour and the size of his hands!

Attractive to me is so hard to define - because while I might have preferences, it doesn't always end up being in the person I'm attracted to. It's all in the way he makes me feel.

And ultimately, he makes me feel safe. Like he's a safe place to put my heart and that everything is going to be ok. Bottom line? I could sleep while he drives! :biggrin:
 

HiddenLacey

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Pretty much exactly my list. Right down to hair colour and the size of his hands!

Attractive to me is so hard to define - because while I might have preferences, it doesn't always end up being in the person I'm attracted to. It's all in the way he makes me feel.

And ultimately, he makes me feel safe. Like he's a safe place to put my heart and that everything is going to be ok. Bottom line? I could sleep while he drives! :biggrin:

Ah yes, safe. Safe in his arms and safe in his heart. I couldn't agree more.

IntoxicatingToxin said:
His smile melts me.

Awwww :)
 

EllieP

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When I think of all the things that USED to be on my list I have to laugh because my husband would not have made the cut!

But he did have one thing that I adore above all else: confidence.

He wasn't tall or even that much bigger than me. But he was able to talk to me even though I could sense some shyness. There was a tension because I think we both felt something and we knew the other felt the same way. But he was able to cut through it and put us both at ease.

It helps that he has a never-ending sense of humor. There's not a day that goes by when we're together that he doesn't make me laugh.

I feel such a sense of security with him as well, not just in material things, but in knowing that he's intelligent enough to do the right thing for our future. Hard to put that one into words that doesn't sound material, but I hope you know what I mean.

Did I mention cute as hell? Yeah, that too. I can be very physical and appearances do matter to me.

I love what you said, LaFemme: I can sleep while he drives. Perfect!!!
 

Daisy

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What is the balance between physical and non physical? Its what EllieP just said. You have a list of criteria and then you meet someone who doesnt meet your list, but maybe theyre attractive in 100 other ways. You have to throw out the list or you can keep dating guys who only meet one certain set of criteria and maybe arent right for you.
 

D_Kitten_Kaboodle

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Non physical qualities:
Confident
Honest
Intelligence/Wit
Humor
non-smoker... no drugs (both big dealbreakers with me)

Physical Qualities:
Tall
Someone who cares about his appearance (clean, groomed, neat looking, even in jeans and a tee shirt. Thug-style is a :nono: for me)
Nice eyes and smile
HWP (height/weight propotionate)
Big Cock~

I'm different b/c I am not looking for a LTR.. If I am looking for a fuck buddy or casual encounter they pretty much need to meet all the criteria.

I'm shallow, yes, but like hubby says, I can afford to be at this point~


FP
 

molotovmuffin

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Unfortunately I believe you've asked a question that will have many different replies. Women are all different, we all enjoy different things about men.

In general, for myself,

Intelligent
Faithful
Kind
Funny, but doesn't have a nasty sarcastic sense of humor and he isn't rude.
Isn't already married to his job or another person.
Attentive, doesn't throw a fit if he forgot his phone and he doesn't answer it while we are out together. His time is more important than making money.
Hard working, unemployment is unattractive to me, so is a man that's collecting unemployment.
Doesn't smoke or do drugs. Extremely light drinker, if at all.
Fun, meaning no matter what we are doing, he's going to have a good time.


I suppose the only real physical needs are,

He has to be clean. That doesn't mean I care if he leaves his clothes on the floor some of the time or stuff laying around. I mean CLEAN, he has to smell clean *meaning soap and skin not fake smell,* take good care of his teeth, skin, NAILS *shudders dirty nails.*
It's pretty important that he work out, unless he has a physically trying job. Fitness is essential.

I like men with big hands. I'm not sure why, something about the way they look and feel against my body.
I prefer dark hair, though it's not a must have.
Taller than I am.
Attractive to me, which is something I can't really put into words. I find that the more I talk to someone the more or less attractive he becomes. It's incredibly rare that I find a man attractive based on the way he looks.

I prefer men that are good at taking control of any situation.

That's my list as well. I'll add that I love a deep voice and a darker skin tone than mine but neither are deal breakers. I also have a thing for nicely trimmed facial hair but dislike a lot of body hair (no shaving!).
 

gretchenweiner

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Masculine qualities (and I'm going purely physical) I prefer in a man
Facial hair
Big, muscular arms and shoulders
Rough, calloused hands
A deeper voice
Strong jaw