What are the side effects of not getting enough?

Drifterwood

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Posts
18,677
Media
0
Likes
2,811
Points
333
Location
Greece
We have had plenty of debate, mass debate if you will, about the morality of "cheating", but I am interested in the downside of not getting as much sex as you need, whether in a relationship or not?

I could have put this in the relationship section, but I don't want to limit the question to people in relationships. Also I have never heard of gay guys complaining - is it predominantly a straight thing?

For those who will say that you should compromise, can I ask which other areas affecting your health and happiness you compromise?
 

earllogjam

Expert Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2006
Posts
4,917
Media
0
Likes
178
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
The downside of not getting enough? How much sex does one really "need"?

It's difficult to answer if an over active libido condones cheating as there are many reasons why people cheat on each other and many of those reasons aren't about just sexual cravings.

Personally, I think touching and physical affection is more important for one's well being than indiscriminate sex is. You can always have sex with yourself if needed but there is no substitute for the former.

It would be interesting to see the cheating rates of gay couples vs. straight couples.
 

Drifterwood

Superior Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2007
Posts
18,677
Media
0
Likes
2,811
Points
333
Location
Greece
The downside of not getting enough? How much sex does one really "need"?

That depends on the person and we are all different. Add to this the fact that we can change from day to day, week, to week, month to month etc etc.

It's difficult to answer if an over active libido condones cheating

This is a big assumption, Earl. Why is it overactive? relative to what? Who is to judge? Do you really think that people even with low sex drives don't need even that small amount and will do something about it?

as there are many reasons why people cheat on each other and many of those reasons aren't about just sexual cravings.

I agree completely with this.

Personally, I think touching and physical affection is more important for one's well being than indiscriminate sex is. You can always have sex with yourself if needed but there is no substitute for the former.

It would be interesting to see the cheating rates of gay couples vs. straight couples.

Why do you presume that the sex is indiscriminate? Do you really think that masterbation is a straight substitute for sex?

Str8 couples is around the 50% mark I think. Though I don't know if that is for people of a certain age or longevity of relationship.
 

Gillette

Sexy Member
Joined
Apr 2, 2006
Posts
6,214
Media
4
Likes
95
Points
268
Age
52
Location
Halifax (Nova Scotia, Canada)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
The biggest potential pitfall I can imagine is depression.

If in a relationship the one not getting their requirements met can feel abandoned or punished -----> depression.

If single the lack of contact can lead to a feeling of disconnectedness and undesirability -----> depression.
 
3

343862

Guest
I wouldn't know. All of the boys come round to visit the junk in my trunk.
 
D

deleted3782

Guest
The biggest potential pitfall I can imagine is depression.

If in a relationship the one not getting their requirements met can feel abandoned or punished -----> depression.

If single the lack of contact can lead to a feeling of disconnectedness and undesirability -----> depression.

...and then depression makes you unattractive to potential mates. Downward spiral.

I guess another factor here is what exactly is one not getting enough of. Is it penetrative sex? Is it physical contact? I have gone very long periods of time with neither. I would think we all have different needs and tolerances.

Interesting post, I look forward to seeing what others say...
 

honeydew

Experimental Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2006
Posts
335
Media
0
Likes
6
Points
163
Gender
Female
FRUSTRATION!!! I never get enough! Some health issues with my husband has resulted in some ED issues but I am way more sexually driven then he is so I do not get enough sex by any means. I end up getting frustrated and I do get down about it. I do not condone cheating but I can see why one would at times.:eek: The fence post looks good certain times of the month to me:rolleyes:
 

D_Ireonsyd_Colonrinse

Experimental Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2007
Posts
1,512
Media
0
Likes
7
Points
123
Isn't sexual energy transferable?

If I'm not getting any, and am feeling pent up, I generally can go blow some steam off at the gym or take a long bike ride. Then, once I jack off, there's no residual sexual energy left.

Don't artists sublimate sexual energy into creating stuff?

Maybe sexual energy is just one manifestation of the total energy package and can be released in a variety of ways.
 

Gillette

Sexy Member
Joined
Apr 2, 2006
Posts
6,214
Media
4
Likes
95
Points
268
Age
52
Location
Halifax (Nova Scotia, Canada)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
...and then depression makes you unattractive to potential mates. Downward spiral.

I guess another factor here is what exactly is one not getting enough of. Is it penetrative sex? Is it physical contact? I have gone very long periods of time with neither. I would think we all have different needs and tolerances.

I'd think physical contact would be the key factor but there has been suggestion that not just the penetrative aspect but the ejaculate itself contains hormones that can act as mood elevators.

Semen acts as an anti-depressant - 26 June 2002 - New Scientist

Just one of those things that make you go "hmm".
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

Account Disabled
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Posts
3,692
Media
0
Likes
71
Points
133
Sexuality
No Response
If my partner denied me for a long period, I imagine I would feel punished, start to question my overall desirability as a person, and my self-esteem would nosedive.

I love to love, touch, kiss, cuddle, and have sex, I couldn't go very long without that sort of contact and if forced to, especially in marriage, due to some outmoded, impractical code of ethics, I would wither into a glum, mean, sanctimonious ass.

However, since I condone cheating and polyamory, I would hope not to find myself in the situation.
 
D

deleted3782

Guest

upone

Experimental Member
Joined
May 27, 2007
Posts
507
Media
0
Likes
16
Points
163
Sexuality
No Response
JAMA had an article last month about the importance for guys 18-30 to unload a lot of goo on a regular basis to prevent prostate cancer later in life.