What Are Your Deal Breakers?

[rtg]

Hi ladies, it’s been awhile. I’ve always found this place to be supportive and honest, so I’m back.

Unexpectedly, my boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. We were together for 18 months. It all seems like such a waste of time now. For the majority of our relationship he would make comments implying he didn’t want kids. However, recently I found out that wasn’t true and even more recently he said he wants them soon.

As I have fertility issues the fact he didn’t want them was fine for me. But this new news changed the game. I went to the dr last week and she said I need to think about having them before I’m 35 (if I want to have them). I’m 32 next month. It’s also almost certain I’d have to go through IVF.

I was telling him this and said that I want to be married before having kids because marriage is really important to me. We’d spoken about it plenty of times before and he never has any objections. He did this time. Apparently he doesn’t want to get married. And that’s my deal breaker.

What’s yours? Aside from cheating, that ones pretty obvious.

 

[LaFemme]

Drug use, disrespect, misogyny in any form, violence to men or women, criminal behaviour (depending on what and how long ago), unwillingness to work on relationship, excessive drinking, cheating, unemployed....basically need a fully evolved human being. I’m one and constantly evolving, so he needs to be my equal. He doesn’t exist, so I’m safely single!

 

[MickeyLee]

I am terrible. At this point in my life leaving socks on the floor will have me packing my happy ss down the road.

 

[rtg]

Drug use, disrespect, misogyny in any form, violence to men or women, criminal behaviour (depending on what and how long ago), unwillingness to work on relationship, excessive drinking, cheating, unemployed....basically need a fully evolved human being. I’m one and constantly evolving, so he needs to be my equal. He doesn’t exist, so I’m safely single!

I’m 100% with you here! I think those type of men are very few and far between... and probably already married haha.

 

[rtg]

I am terrible. At this point in my life leaving socks on the floor will have me packing my happy ss down the road.

Hahahaha I love it

 

[693987]

Drug use, disrespect, misogyny in any form, violence to men or women, criminal behaviour (depending on what and how long ago), unwillingness to work on relationship, excessive drinking, cheating, unemployed....basically need a fully evolved human being. I’m one and constantly evolving, so he needs to be my equal. He doesn’t exist, so I’m safely single!

I found my unicorn. Pity I can't clone him. He's lovely.

My list is pretty much the same as Ms. Femme's. Also, no lying. I am a blunt bitch and I demand a partner who communicates as openly and honestly as I do. Just flat out tell me what you want, what is bugging you, etc. Don't make me try to guess or assume I'm a mind reader. I have zero patience or interest in that kind of crap.

 

[LaFemme]

I am terrible. At this point in my life leaving socks on the floor will have me packing my happy ss down the road.

The boy lives on thin ice.

 

[MickeyLee]

Lucky for the boy he was a figure skater in past life.

The boy is ever the exception to my rules.

 

[286798]

A few of my dealbreakers were obvious before I started dating... liars, narcissist/selfish people, addiction of any form. Others have been uncovered through unsuccessful relationships: Negative "Eeyore" type people, those who don't appropriately manage their money and their time/people who crave instant gratification, jealousy/control, insecure people, people who are unwilling to work on relationships or negotiate.

 

[286798]

And sorry you feel it was wasted time. I hope you see the lesson you were supposed to learn from it.

 

[rtg]

I found my unicorn. Pity I can't clone him. He's lovely.

My list is pretty much the same as Ms. Femme's. Also, no lying. I am a blunt bitch and I demand a partner who communicates as openly and honestly as I do. Just flat out tell me what you want, what is bugging you, etc. Don't make me try to guess or assume I'm a mind reader. I have zero patience or interest in that kind of crap.

Yes! Communication is so important. I’ve definitely added that to my list now after being with someone who didn’t communicate.

And sorry you feel it was wasted time. I hope you see the lesson you were supposed to learn from it.

Thank you. I have definitely learnt many lessons and the biggest of all is probably realising what I deserve.

 

[Nath_queen]

Hi ladies, it’s been awhile. I’ve always found this place to be supportive and honest, so I’m back.

Unexpectedly, my boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. We were together for 18 months. It all seems like such a waste of time now. For the majority of our relationship he would make comments implying he didn’t want kids. However, recently I found out that wasn’t true and even more recently he said he wants them soon.

As I have fertility issues the fact he didn’t want them was fine for me. But this new news changed the game. I went to the dr last week and she said I need to think about having them before I’m 35 (if I want to have them). I’m 32 next month. It’s also almost certain I’d have to go through IVF.

I was telling him this and said that I want to be married before having kids because marriage is really important to me. We’d spoken about it plenty of times before and he never has any objections. He did this time. Apparently he doesn’t want to get married. And that’s my deal breaker.

What’s yours? Aside from cheating, that ones pretty obvious.

He didn't want to commit...i had the same situation in the past with a guy...
Other things are the lack of communication and trust

 

[Scarletbegonia]

For those who feel any relationship was fully wasted time:

My dealbreakers are much like @LaFemme
I’d add collects toys. I’ve had a few situations with over grown boys, and the dolls...um...action figures were a tell.

 

[rtg]

@Scarletbegonia omg action figures? I’d die

 

[Scarletbegonia]

@Scarletbegonia omg action figures? I’d die

I call them dolls. The boys say action figures.
This included a set of Star Trek pez dispensers.

 

[LaFemme]

What about bobble heads? Like say, Carol, Daryl, and Glen from the Walking Dead? Um, asking for a friend.

Edit. More than one Daryl. And maybe a few Yodas. My friend really like Yoda.

 

[918177]

Substance abuse issues.
Inability to use paragraphs correctly.
Unemployment.
Smoking.
Computer games/gaming.
Clingy mothers / mummy's boys.
Man childs.
Insecurity.
Slobs.
Squeamishness.
Big mouths and grandstanders.
Mental illness


There are others but that's what I came up with off the top of my head.

 

[Spartan727]

Smoking
Bad hygiene
Chewing w your mouth open
Hocking loogies
Finding a hair in my food
Any type of abuse
Disrespect

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

For most guys, I'd have a pretty long list.

For my guy, he'd have to literally rape or kill someone for me to leave him. Or assault me or one of my other family members.

Other than that, I'll never leave that man.

 

[Spartan727]

I can’t stand when someone is irritated about something and when you ask what’s wrong they say nothing then 3-4 days later they tell you about something that happened last week


Wtf - that dog is not going to hunt!! It’s dead!!!

I don’t hold on to grudges, I try to not have regrets.
Life is too short...