What Are Your Insecurities & Do They Affect Your Relationship?

erpap

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While my whole life I have been told by people I know and by strangers that I’m very handsome. Sometimes I see it and sometimes I don’t. It has always been an issue with me and has affected my relationship... feeling I’m not good looking enough or sexy enough. Those feeling of course transfer to my partner by me thinking he wants others and is attracted to others. When we first met if someone showed him attention or if someone caught his eye it would throw me into a tailspin. As the years went by I pushed myself further and further away. Long story short, trying to work issues out issues regarding looks and other issues in the relationship. It didn’t help that we went 20 years with no affection or intimacy but we always still cared for each other. Which is why we stayed with each other. Of course over the 20 years I never cheated and he has told me he hasn’t but of course we are human and each of us has spent time on the internet. I found his Manhunt profile and that has brought up a TON of issues for me. I never created a profile on a hookup site. And while I have been no angel and been here on LPSG. His profile has thrown me into another tailspin. Trying to work through issues and I have my good days and bad days... today being a bad day. UGH!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this or what insecurities you might have.

Thanks for listening.
 
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HungBtmVegas

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Mine are usually because of the men I date (40+ white collar white guys), they'll keep me in the closet, which I think is warranted because many have, but I have problems not projecting that onto everyone I date if they don't immediately introduce me to friends/family
 

FreddieCrunk

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The things that I used to be bothered by, insecurities, are now in my advanced age just seen by me as characteristics. I don't tan well too pale instead of having a swarthy exterior, didn't quit make six feet in height, not going to be memorable in the bedroom physically, not handsome.... I am that guy that gets put in the friend zone. Spent so much time there I know all the roads of that place. Anyway, the way it has affected me is that I have for many years not dated. I have just learned to make little needed human connections via being "friends". I do get to have some real conversations with women. First of all they see me as safe (since not going to date me and I show no hints of asking) and I get a lot of those "hey, you are guy, kind of, my boyfriend is doing x what do you think that means?" stuff.