What are your most awkward experiences during a doctor's examination or physical?

PRINCE_PEACH

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Trying to get tested for HPV after my wife's tongue cancer was determined to have been caused by it. Doctors struggled to figure out a way; there is no way to test for HPV, no way at all unless they cut tissue out of you. My wife's surgeon thought long and hard and had to get back to me on if he could test me for HPV. His answer? "I can take your tonsils out and see that way." He was serious.

So, a urethral swab was determined to not be the best way but an anal swab was. I was worried, it was a tremendously scary time for me because maybe I'd have cancer any day following my wife's diagnosis. I went in for an anal swab. I did an enema an hour before just to be sure to be clean to not freak the doctor out. He was a new GP for us, young guy. So I'm in the room with him, he's quizzing me over why I wanted an HPV test so bad. I explained to him. He said, in a most honest and matter of fact way, I don't think you need to worry, you've most likely had it, and your immune system is strong and you kicked it. I said no, I'm here for a test, that's what I want.

Then this mother fucker this asshole asked me, in almost desperation, "I mean, are you homosexual?" I couldn't believe this guy. What difference does it make? Give me the fucking test asshole! I said "no?" and he said "because an anal swab is testing for anal sex so if you aren't homosexual then why get tested there?" Well, because my wife and I have freaky sex and sometimes the juices go everywhere, or fingers and cock can go all over the place? What the hell was this? I didn't think sexual orientation should be grounds to have a test for an STI.

He didn't want me to have the test, I was so defeated and humiliated. And felt hopeless and helpless. Then he told me to see the front desk for paperwork and they FUCKING CHARGED ME FOR THE VISIT. I just stood in the room and talked to him for like 3 minutes and they didn't do the test.

Awkward, yes, the question about my sexual orientation was uncalled for in this situation. It doesn't matter what I do with whom, stick the swab in my asshole and tell me the result of the test. I told him I was ready and it wouldn't bother me, he was kind of like "ewwww you want this for sure?" What a loser. He begged me, "come back and see us any time, I'm here for you, I'm always here to care for you." NOPE I never went back, my wife didn't either. Loser is still practicing, I don't know how.
That doctor was completely correct. There is no test for men for HPV. His question regarding your orientation was valid as well. If you had anal sex they would examine you for any warts caused by HPV. I know this because I work at Planned Parenthood and deal with this daily.
 

palakaorion

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Exam included a digital rectal exam for prostate. Normally I'm quite conscientious about being tidy in that area, especially when expecting it to be seen.

However, 15 minutes prior, while already at the office building, an unsolicited deuce made an unforeseen and violent arrival in the public washroom. Commercial grade tissue wasn't gonna get the job done adequately.

Let's just say I wasn't fresh as a daisy.
 

dimru

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I had an anal papilla, I went to the proctologist. I was engaged in anal sex, I knew that the doctor would understand this, I was ashamed. During the examination, the doctor behaved strangely. But he put his finger in my ass, checked what he wanted. Said it needed to be removed. He hinted that he understood that I was having anal sex. Then he inserted two fingers, and began to expand my anus, said do not strain, relax. This is strange I think. Then they inserted an anal dilator and started treatment. The next time there was another doctor, he acted quickly and confidently.
 
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uncuttexasdad

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HPV info:

More than half of men who are sexually active in the U.S. will have HPV at some time in their life. Often, men will clear the virus on their own, with no health problems.

HPV Infection in Men
I had a HPV bump/polyp removed. The doc that did my colonoscopy said um we usually only find them in homosexual men. I said I’ve had a finger from a woman during massage But never from a man. I’ve had a few cocks in me but never bareback. I’ve been rimmed maybe that’s how I got it??
 
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herbho

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I had a HPV bump/polyp removed. The doc that did my colonoscopy said um we usually only find them in homosexual men. I said I’ve had a finger from a woman during massage But never from a man. I’ve had a few cocks in me but never bareback. I’ve been rimmed maybe that’s how I got it??
Could be you got it from rimming:


Several longitudinal cohort studies have associated non-intercourse receptive practises with anal HPV transmission. A San Francisco-based cohort of HIV-positive GBM showed that receptive rimming with new sexual partners increased the risk of incident anal HPV infection.

Sexual behaviours associated with incident high-risk anal human papillomavirus among gay and bisexual men | Sexually Transmitted Infections
 
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brianno40

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I had an anal papilla, I went to the proctologist. I was engaged in anal sex, I knew that the doctor would understand this, I was ashamed. During the examination, the doctor behaved strangely. But he put his finger in my ass, checked what he wanted. Said it needed to be removed. He hinted that he understood that I was having anal sex. Then he inserted two fingers, and began to expand my anus, said do not strain, relax. This is strange I think. Then they inserted an anal dilator and started treatment. The next time there was another doctor, he acted quickly and confidently.
Any creams your doctor prescribed?
 

uncuttexasdad

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Could be you got it from rimming:


Several longitudinal cohort studies have associated non-intercourse receptive practises with anal HPV transmission. A San Francisco-based cohort of HIV-positive GBM showed that receptive rimming with new sexual partners increased the risk of incident anal HPV infection.

Sexual behaviours associated with incident high-risk anal human papillomavirus among gay and bisexual men | Sexually Transmitted Infections
So once it’s removed is it gone forever? I mean can I pass it on somehow
 

herbho

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So once it’s removed is it gone forever? I mean can I pass it on somehow
There is no cure for HPV:

HPV infection can increase a man's risk of getting genital cancers, although these cancers are not common. HPV can also cause genital warts in men, just as in women. More than half of men who are sexually active in the U.S. will have HPV at some time in their life.

STD Facts - HPV and Men
 

F_Man

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This happened some 20+ years ago and I might have written about it at some other thread. A Christmas holiday in the Canary Islands and a happy balls-to-balls jerk of session in the dunes with a handsome Spanish guy lead a few weeks later into scabies and many really itchy small nodules around my balls. I wanted to see a specialist and called the clinic for sexually transmitted and skin diseases of the Helsinki University Hospital. The earliest appointment was in over two weeks, but if I would accept my case presented to medical students, I could have an appointment the next day, and free of charge. Next day I went. First two student girls interviewed me about the case, checked my balls and wrote down notes. I pulled my trousers back up and stood when the specialist doctor arrived, with several more medical students, most of them guys. When all the students were standing in line facing me, the specialist asked me to drop my trousers and show my balls, so I was nude waist down, with my semi and big lowhangers. The specialist went over my case with me and explained scabies and its treatment. and I was asked to hold and show off my balls and the nodules so that all the students could get a closer look. I kinda enjoyed it :) I got medication and was asked to wash all my bed clothes and clothes in hot water or keep them overnight out in the balcony in the freezing January weather.
 

twfarrell

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just recently i had a appointment too see the urologist i go every 6 months due to a bad hernia , my last visit he was checking my testicles, then he proceed to pull down my foreskin very hard , i was like wow, and i did get semi erect
We must have the same urologist. Does yours also lean over you and he run their fingers from your kidneys around to your front along your cum gutters culminating at the point where your pubic bone is / where your shaft starts?
 

bloompark

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I recently moved to Germany and was invited in for a physical exam when I registered with a doctor. I was in boxer briefs for most of the exam, and the whole time I could feel my dick is on the edge of getting hard. I had got semi-erect from when he took my bloody pressure and after that I wasn’t flaccid for the rest of the exam.

The doctor was working from my head downwards and eventually he got down to my stomach and abdomen. He’s listened to my stomach and pressed on it, including round the top of my pubic hair and at that point my cock just started hardening really quickly. By the time he was done I was rock hard and you could see the tent in my underwear.

For the next part of the exam he asked me to stand up and take off my underwear. Being British I’d only had a two physical exams before and I was incredibly embarrassed. I reluctantly took off my boxer briefs and was stood there with this boner pointing straight upwards, which he completely ignored. He started feeling my balls and asked me “is your scrotum always this tight because I’m having trouble feeling each testis?” I managed to stammer out “no, it’s usually looser than this”.

All the while he was examining me he he was giving a running commentary of observations to the nurse in German too. He finished with my balls and asked me to turn my head and cough with his fingers right up inside my scrotum. Then he took hold of my erect penis with his thumb and foreskin and asked “any trouble with your foreskin? Does it always cover the head when you have an erection?” Without waiting for an answer he pulled it back. Honestly, I didn’t think I could get any harder, but at this point I was so stiff it was almost painful.

He examined my glans, felt the length of my shaft, and when he was doing that my foreskin has rolled back over the head and he pulled it back again. And he asked me again, “any trouble with your foreskin? When did you last have your genitals checked?” He was obviously concerned about something and said something to the nurse in German that I didn’t understand.

He said to me “I just want to have a closer look at your frenulum. Could you lie down for me again please.” I laid back down, still with my penis rock hard. He pulled my foreskin right back once again, looked at my frenulum, and asked if it’s sensitive or hurts. He then examined my frenulum and all around my glans with a penlight. Finally he was done, covered my head over with my foreskin again himself and said cryptically “we will monitor that”. I was too embarrassed to ask what, and was left trying to get this massive erection back into my boxer briefs.
Oh did you have to go back there again? Do you think you had something wrong with your foreskin or frenulum?
 
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