I'm bored. Time for more masturbatory self-congratulation.
-My IQ is in the top 3% of the top 1% of the top 1% of the top 1% of the population, according to some tests.
-I'm very artistic and very creative. I love to write stories, essays, and poetry. I take photographs, draw, paint, sculpt. I carve some bitchin' jack o' lanterns for a complete amateur. I've won awards for all of the above. I also design my own games; create my own dessert recipes; have good aesthetic taste in art, decoration, and interior design; and have my own unique personal style- often being described as both well-dressed and distinct.
-The size of my penis is also well into the 99th percentile
-I'm an excellent listener. Supportive, understanding, sensitive. I pay attention to what you're saying to me and remember most of it. I make eye contact. I often say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time. I make you feel as though you can tell me things you never thought you'd tell anybody, without fear of being judged.
-My height and shoe size, also both well into the 99th percentile. I stand out.
-I have an outrageously good sense of humor.
-My fingers are exceptionally long and fairly nimble, able to find all sorts of hard to reach things.
-I have the asshole of a ten year old boy
-I've been described as "unbelievably sexy" by some, but I'm not cocky about it. I don't think I would describe myself the same way. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all.
-if you shaved off all my body hair you could knit a sweater
-I can easily reach thing on top of the refrigerator, open jars, or uproot stop signs with my bare hands when occasion calls for it.
-I'm very good with children and animals. Your dog will love me, as will your nephew.
-I'm fair at basketball, an awesome badminton player, a reasonably strong swimmer, and a decent bowler.
-I'll kick your ass at any strategic game, chess, checkers, Magic: The Gathering cards, Civilization IV, whatever. I'll also beat you at most video games even though I rarely play them anymore.
-I'm a great storyteller.
-You'll feel safe when you're with me. (unless I'm driving)
-I have a tolerance for spicy foods that shames even the locals at Korean, Thai, or Indian restaurants.
-I have a pretty good singing voice
-I do many pretty convincing impersonations
-I'm awesome at whistling
-I have a knack for intuitively figuring out how things work and fit together, a natural mechanical/technological aptitude.
-I can argue both sides of any debate and usually win if I want to
-If you piss me off, I also have a knack for figuring out exactly what your deepest insecurities are and exploiting them. I can make grown men cry.
-Fortunately for everyone, I am only very very very rarely that mean, though.
-I don't need alcohol or drugs to have a good time or feel good about myself
-When I want to, I have excellent grammar
-I have an enormous vocabulary
-I have an uncanny ability for retaining useless information
-I can draw a pretty accurate map of the entire world from memory, including almost accurate coastlines, major island chains mountain ranges and river systems, correct placement of most countries outside of Africa and even most capital cities
-I learn new things very quickly
-I give great massages
-I'm a cunning linguist and master debater
-I'm charming, a romantic, and an excellent gift-giver. I'm supportive. I can be forgiving. I'm a good communicator. I remember important dates. I go out of my way to make the partners I am with feel special. I make a great boyfriend.
-I have an excellent natural sense of direction. My ability to form and hold elaborate images in my head (perhaps why I can draw an accurate world map from memory) also allows me to glance at a map once and then find my way pretty much anywhere on that map.
-I'm fun
-I'm bold and a reasonable risk-taker. I have no irrational phobias. I travel to new countries where I don't know anybody nor speak the language and get along fine. I'll sneak into a public pool with you after hours to go skinny-dipping. I'll quit my job if it's something I don't enjoy doing and try something new. I'm happier for it.
-I have an unusually keen sense of empathy. I probably know exactly where you're coming from, even if I've never been there before myself, though my experiences are pretty rich and varied so chances are that I actually have been there.
-I'm well traveled and worldly. I respect other people and cultures. I get along well most places that I go.
-I'm very modest