What aspects of Asian guys do you find positive and negative?

WilliamG

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I don't really know how it is in the gay community. But as a bi-curious (only one meetup) male... I find Asian men and women VERY attractive. That said, in my Northern Los Angeles suburb, the races tend to not mix much. At my gym we have some very attractive Asian guys. But they tend to be with other Asian friends. Same thing out at bars and restaurants. I know from the Koreans I've worked with in the past (at least in the straight world) there is pressure to date/marry other Koreans. I think this is slowly changing. But bottom line: Smooth Asian men are hot!
 

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Superresolution022

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I don't really know how it is in the gay community. But as a bi-curious (only one meetup) male... I find Asian men and women VERY attractive. That said, in my Northern Los Angeles suburb, the races tend to not mix much. At my gym we have some very attractive Asian guys. But they tend to be with other Asian friends. Same thing out at bars and restaurants. I know from the Koreans I've worked with in the past (at least in the straight world) there is pressure to date/marry other Koreans. I think this is slowly changing. But bottom line: Smooth Asian men are hot!
To be honest, I have many Asian and white friends, and I actually enjoy both of their friendships. Might not hurt if you try to strike a friendly conversation to those you find attractive, I am sure they will get your signal and perhaps advance on you!
 

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To be honest, I have many Asian and white friends, and I actually enjoy both of their friendships. Might not hurt if you try to strike a friendly conversation to those you find attractive, I am sure they will get your signal and perhaps advance on you!
I don't disagree. Perhaps it's a suburb thing? I know when I lived near the more urban beach area there was a lot more mixing among the various groups.
 
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There are something negative things I've noticed over the years about a certain subset (not all!) of Asian gay guys. Warning: generalizations based on anecdotal evidence incoming; usual disclaimers apply.

I've found that, a lot of times, East and Southeast Asian potato queens/gaisen/whatever they're called elsewhere -- in short, Asian guys who are primarily or exclusively interested in white men -- can be quite neurotic and emotionally immature. They instantly try to glom onto any white guy they're halfway attracted too, and can be very clingy/needy in relationships. In my experience, SE Asians (Thai, Filipino, etc.) in particular can be persistent (not to mention non-consensually grope-y) almost to the point of being pushy/aggressive if they're trying to pursue you.

In the case of guys who actually live in Asian countries (i.e., not the US/Canada/Australia/etc.), if you're not interested (and I don't mean blanket statements like "not into Asians", just when you're not into that particular individual), they're often oblivious unless you flat out tell them so. I'm not sure if it's a language issue, cultural differences, or just persistence born of horniness, but such types simply don't seem to pick up on "not interested" signals short of out-and-out rejection. And they really don't handle rejection well -- they can get extremely pissy/sulky, to the point it's almost childish. I rather suspect many of these individuals end up moving to predominantly white Western countries if they can.

In the case of Asian gay men who were born in Western countries, this is also the same sort of person who constantly cries about how racist white guys (and it's only ever white guys they cry about) on Grindr won't fuck them, yet themselves wouldn't give a non-white guy the time of day. They'll make bitter, catty comments about white guys on Twitter all day long, yet mysteriously only ever seem to date white guys when they do manage to land a partner, even when there are plenty of men of other races around as well. I'm sure it can be frustrating having to deal with rejection more frequently because of one's race, but the combination of hypocrisy, entitlement, bitterness, neuroticism, and insecurity is highly offputting.

(Incidentally, I've noticed similar traits in similarly white-guy-obssessed individuals from other non-white demographics, but that's a discussion for another thread.)

I want to stress again that I'm not trying to paint all, or even most, gay Asian men with the same sweeping generalizations -- any racial or ethnic group is going to have its bad apples. I've just noticed that Asian whitey chasers in particular generally seem to have a lot of personality traits that make them offputting as people, entirely apart from the question of physical attraction.
 

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Thanks so much for your honest answer. I think I know what you mean. I think it must be within the nature that we can't get what we want and we don't know how to deal with it, so we throw a hissyfit. So I guess the negative aspect can be their attitude toward being rejected by whom they feel attracted to.
There are something negative things I've noticed over the years about a certain subset (not all!) of Asian gay guys. Warning: generalizations based on anecdotal evidence incoming; usual disclaimers apply.

I've found that, a lot of times, East and Southeast Asian potato queens/gaisen/whatever they're called elsewhere -- in short, Asian guys who are primarily or exclusively interested in white men -- can be quite neurotic and emotionally immature. They instantly try to glom onto any white guy they're halfway attracted too, and can be very clingy/needy in relationships. In my experience, SE Asians (Thai, Filipino, etc.) in particular can be persistent (not to mention non-consensually grope-y) almost to the point of being pushy/aggressive if they're trying to pursue you.

In the case of guys who actually live in Asian countries (i.e., not the US/Canada/Australia/etc.), if you're not interested (and I don't mean blanket statements like "not into Asians", just when you're not into that particular individual), they're often oblivious unless you flat out tell them so. I'm not sure if it's a language issue, cultural differences, or just persistence born of horniness, but such types simply don't seem to pick up on "not interested" signals short of out-and-out rejection. And they really don't handle rejection well -- they can get extremely pissy/sulky, to the point it's almost childish. I rather suspect many of these individuals end up moving to predominantly white Western countries if they can.

In the case of Asian gay men who were born in Western countries, this is also the same sort of person who constantly cries about how racist white guys (and it's only ever white guys they cry about) on Grindr won't fuck them, yet themselves wouldn't give a non-white guy the time of day. They'll make bitter, catty comments about white guys on Twitter all day long, yet mysteriously only ever seem to date white guys when they do manage to land a partner, even when there are plenty of men of other races around as well. I'm sure it can be frustrating having to deal with rejection more frequently because of one's race, but the combination of hypocrisy, entitlement, bitterness, neuroticism, and insecurity is highly offputting.

(Incidentally, I've noticed similar traits in similarly white-guy-obssessed individuals from other non-white demographics, but that's a discussion for another thread.)

I want to stress again that I'm not trying to paint all, or even most, gay Asian men with the same sweeping generalizations -- any racial or ethnic group is going to have its bad apples. I've just noticed that Asian whitey chasers in particular generally seem to have a lot of personality traits that make them offputting as people, entirely apart from the question of physical attraction.
 

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There are something negative things I've noticed over the years about a certain subset (not all!) of Asian gay guys. Warning: generalizations based on anecdotal evidence incoming; usual disclaimers apply.

I've found that, a lot of times, East and Southeast Asian potato queens/gaisen/whatever they're called elsewhere -- in short, Asian guys who are primarily or exclusively interested in white men -- can be quite neurotic and emotionally immature. They instantly try to glom onto any white guy they're halfway attracted too, and can be very clingy/needy in relationships. In my experience, SE Asians (Thai, Filipino, etc.) in particular can be persistent (not to mention non-consensually grope-y) almost to the point of being pushy/aggressive if they're trying to pursue you.

In the case of guys who actually live in Asian countries (i.e., not the US/Canada/Australia/etc.), if you're not interested (and I don't mean blanket statements like "not into Asians", just when you're not into that particular individual), they're often oblivious unless you flat out tell them so. I'm not sure if it's a language issue, cultural differences, or just persistence born of horniness, but such types simply don't seem to pick up on "not interested" signals short of out-and-out rejection. And they really don't handle rejection well -- they can get extremely pissy/sulky, to the point it's almost childish. I rather suspect many of these individuals end up moving to predominantly white Western countries if they can.

In the case of Asian gay men who were born in Western countries, this is also the same sort of person who constantly cries about how racist white guys (and it's only ever white guys they cry about) on Grindr won't fuck them, yet themselves wouldn't give a non-white guy the time of day. They'll make bitter, catty comments about white guys on Twitter all day long, yet mysteriously only ever seem to date white guys when they do manage to land a partner, even when there are plenty of men of other races around as well. I'm sure it can be frustrating having to deal with rejection more frequently because of one's race, but the combination of hypocrisy, entitlement, bitterness, neuroticism, and insecurity is highly offputting.

(Incidentally, I've noticed similar traits in similarly white-guy-obssessed individuals from other non-white demographics, but that's a discussion for another thread.)

I want to stress again that I'm not trying to paint all, or even most, gay Asian men with the same sweeping generalizations -- any racial or ethnic group is going to have its bad apples. I've just noticed that Asian whitey chasers in particular generally seem to have a lot of personality traits that make them offputting as people, entirely apart from the question of physical attraction.
Agree, the white guy obsession is honestly exhausting to deal with.
 
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I honestly think it has nothing to do with race as it does with body/features etc. If you ask most men/women that say they dont want an asian man if they like asian food im sure 90% of them would say yes. Would they have asian friends, im sure yes. It has nothing to do with the race and everything to do with the physical image they have of asian men, and that is what they are most of the time. Shorter/slim/no facial hair etc. When we think of whats popular and what lots of gay men/woman are into, football players are a good place to look into. Big, built, masculine, strong etc How many asian men are in football?

BUTTT there def are exceptions, I have seen many Asian men with a “BODY” , masculine presence, facial hair etc Everyone checks them out etc, they always have some model like woman with them. In the gay scene ive seen them get lots of “approval” as well over others. Again all comes down to body, face, features(big dick, ass etc) . Here is a prime example of an asian man the defies the stereotypes everyone thinks if asian men, you can read 50+ pages of people lusting over him.

Youtuber/actor bart kwan

This is so biased. You prefer masc big guys but not everyone does. There are a lot of non-asian twinks who are also popular among othe guys.
 

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I knew people who use to put things like "no fats, no fems, no asians" on their dating profile - which I hated. It wasn't always easy to bring it up - but I always felt like there was some level of racism in that; odd given how often queer people experience being excluded to then do that to others.

How gay men justify their racism on Grindr

I've dated Asian men, a man from the UAE and once when I was living in Singapore a business man from north India who would visit regularly .

What did I learn? what did I like : there are stereotypes we all have - but once I got to the crux of treating everyone like a person and not as a stereotype - it was just better to date. I miss my time in Singapore (not the heat) but I had fun. Just treat every person like a person and enjoy it :)

don't think man from UAE is what we're talking about. And you ask him about his race, he probably wouldn't tell you hes asian either.
 

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As an Indian, I have noticed this - Why is that sometimes India isn't considered part of Asia? :joy:

I don't think anybody would consider India not asia geographically.
In terms of race, it's a difference thing. You would see 1 out of 200 guys who's Indian on a gay asian party or in a gay aisan group. The culture is just way too different.
 
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Generally, I prefer the more macho aesthetic with beards, muscles and hairiness (not to mention me being a ‘size queen’); so it’s much harder to find Asian men with these attributes.

However, I love the value of trust, honor, intellect and orderliness of many East Asian cultures. A lot also seem to have amazing legs/calves. Many also work in lucrative careers and I love intelligence.
 
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Generally, I prefer the more macho aesthetic with beards, muscles and hairiness (not to mention me being a ‘size queen’); so it’s much harder to find Asian men with these attributes.

However, I love the value of trust, honor, intellect and orderliness of many East Asian cultures. A lot also seem to have amazing legs/calves. Many also work in lucrative careers and I love intelligence.
Well, thanks for the answer, I think you zum up the whole situation.