What attracts you the most?

EmJay

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Was this specified clearly in your OP?
Inner beauty isn't something that's apparent in a "first moment".

Maybe not..:redface:

But when it comes to feeling attracted to a future partner maybe some go about it differently when they assess what makes them attracted to someone.. (or what keeps them attracted)

I'm talking about attraction in essence.

ofcourse the questions are not scientifically founded ...I'm just looking for what a person feels is important to them..

If people were all D's in life..we wouldnt have that many single people walking around..
 

nudeyorker

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Maybe not..:redface:

But when it comes to feeling attracted to a future partner maybe some go about it differently when they assess what makes them attracted to someone.. (or what keeps them attracted)

I'm talking about attraction in essence.

ofcourse the questions are not scientifically founded ...I'm just looking for what a person feels is important to them..

If people were all D's in life..we wouldnt have that many single people walking around..

I disagree with your last sentiment. Some people no matter what they look like or what they have inside are not capable or desirous of being in a committed relationship.
I truly believe if someone wants to be in a relationship if they are willing to hold on to their ideals and not settle for the next best thing they will find the perfect match.
 

petite

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I really can't answer your question. What has attracted me has been different in different instances, and often changed based upon where I was in my life or even depended upon what my last relationship was like. I do have a weakness for pretty boys, but a pretty boy who is charming, intelligent, and fun is the whole package and that's what I prefer the most. I don't find myself attracted to dumb but pretty men, except to look at. I've also dated my fair share of men who are not conventionally attractive, not muscular, or a little overweight, because they attracted me based upon their exceptional intelligence or sense of humor or talent. I happen to be very attracted to talent.

TheBF caught my eye with his face and body when I saw him sitting there, but he really began to interest me when he began talking about the books I had with me, and then he impressed me with his charm. Would you call that physical or non-physical? I could not have known he was intelligent or charming when I was initially attracted to his face and body, but I wouldn't have flirted back if he wasn't smart and funny.
 

EmJay

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I truly believe if someone wants to be in a relationship if they are willing to hold on to their ideals and not settle for the next best thing they will find the perfect match.

LOL..and I believe that this is the exact reason why so many singles are out there..

The sad truth about it all.. is that I believe that for a D-type of person I would be an awesome woman. I do :biggrin1:.. But I do not run into them very often...my reality is filled with C or B's

But I also belong in the crowd of semi shallow people and do 'need' a little something physically to still feel that spark..that attraction.. So I keep 'searching' or 'waiting' for him untill I run into the ones that have an A's type of desire or D...and they are scarce

And that is what made me surprised with all of the D-answers..
 
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EmJay

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I really can't answer your question. What has attracted me has been different in different instances, and often changed based upon where I was in my life or even depended upon what my last relationship was like. I do have a weakness for pretty boys, but a pretty boy who is charming, intelligent, and fun is the whole package and that's what I prefer the most. I don't find myself attracted to dumb but pretty men, except to look at. I've also dated my fair share of men who are not conventionally attractive, not muscular, or a little overweight, because they attracted me based upon their exceptional intelligence or sense of humor or talent. I happen to be very attracted to talent.

TheBF caught my eye with his face and body when I saw him sitting there, but he really began to interest me when he began talking about the books I had with me, and then he impressed me with his charm. Would you call that physical or non-physical? I could not have known he was intelligent or charming when I was initially attracted to his face and body, but I wouldn't have flirted back if he wasn't smart and funny.

So the attraction starts when you get to know their personality a little?

To me it seems like you are more a D-type.
 

petite

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So the attraction starts when you get to know their personality a little?

To me it seems like you are more a D-type.

Some of the men I've dated haven't topped my list for most attractive mates, but they had other qualities that made them desirable to me, and that's definitely D type.

However, most of the time I think it's a combination of the types you presented. I want someone who is deep and whose personality is a perfect match with mine, but I want that person to be physically attractive to me, too, so when I'm single and I see someone who is physically attractive to me, I take a little bit of time to find out if there's more behind the pretty face, to see if he possess those D-type qualities. If there isn't, I'm not interested, but if there is, then I've found someone who might be a good mate for me. I think most people are like that.

I'm also of the opinion, though, that there really isn't that one perfect person for everyone. To some extent, you have to be a little bit flexible in order to be happy in a relationship with another person. The closest I've been able to find to explain what I mean is the explanation Dan Savage gave about The Price of Admission.

YouTube - ‪Dan Savage on The Price of Admission‬‏

I think if you keep rejecting people for a LTR because they aren't perfect, then you'll never be happy because you'll never find that relationship where you build those memories of joy together. You have to face the fact that no one is absolutely perfect, and your partner doesn't have to be in order to have a lifetime of happiness and companionship together.
 

EmJay

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The closest I've been able to find to explain what I mean is the explanation Dan Savage gave about The Price of Admission.

YouTube - ‪Dan Savage on The Price of Admission‬‏

I think if you keep rejecting people for a LTR because they aren't perfect, then you'll never be happy because you'll never find that relationship where you build those memories of joy together. You have to face the fact that no one is absolutely perfect, and your partner doesn't have to be in order to have a lifetime of happiness and companionship together.

Loved that clip..he's great and so right..

I'm searching for my own price of admission.. But i'm not that shallow about little stuff.. He can have stinky feet for all I care :cool:

But there is a something that i'm not getting yet..

I just haven't found someone yet that I feel comfortable with as a person I guess.

But letting go of that hot body..i don't know..:redface:
 

thetramp

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So what attracts me the most is easy to say, it is the inside. So D.
However i obviously ideally want it all. So C with a inside as beautiful.
If i can't have it all i rather make compromises on a face or a body.
And honestly i have found that my attraction to a person can greatly change what i do consider beautiful looks wise.
 

earllogjam

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B. She can always wear a paper bag over her face during sex.


It's hard to quantify what attracts you to a person cuz it typically is an overall gestalt not one feature over the other.

When the sum of the parts are greater than the whole?
 

thetramp

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If people were all D's in life..we wouldnt have that many single people walking around..
So you believe that there are more beautiful personalities walking around than beautiful persons?

I actually have experienced that it is much harder to find a person i do connect with mentally, that is beautiful on the inside than a girl that has a hot body and a cute face in my opinion
 

ArtofDesire

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D

A person can look gorgeous on the outside and be ugly on the inside. I can't love someone because of the way they look, they might not always look that way.

On the flip side, I wouldn't want to be with someone that was only with me because they liked my body or my face.


This is me, in the final choice I would totally go for D - the person inside, that is what is most important. I completely agree with everything submissivegirl83 said in her post, I want someone who wants me for the unique person that I am and how I make him feel, not for what my body or face may look like although I know men tend to be drawn to the body and/or face first hopefully they will look beyond physical features to see who I am as a person and want to spend time with me.
 

D_Peter Potamus

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Definitely choice D. Although, like anyone else, it's nice to look at someone attractive, in the long run, the person they are is MUCH more important to me.
Even sexually, if a woman is a good, playful lover, that is much better to me than a "10" that is self-absorbed.
 

EmJay

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So you believe that there are more beautiful personalities walking around than beautiful persons?

I actually have experienced that it is much harder to find a person i do connect with mentally, that is beautiful on the inside than a girl that has a hot body and a cute face in my opinion

No..there are more shallow people..

I find it hard to find someone to connect with mentally as well..it takes time to feel good with someone..or see their inner beauty. In todays fast paced life, we don't all take the time to get to know each other anymore..

D-type people see beyond beauty and looks as I see it. They are more type of people who fall attracted to another person's spirit. It doesn't mean that their partner is ugly perse, it just means it wouldn't matter if they were because in their partner eyes they are beautiful due to the beauty of their spirit or something about their character that absolutely draws your attention..
 

D_Rosalind Mussell

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Definitely D. There is no substitute for a man with a great personality that is enthralled (be it sexually or romantically) by you. That type of intensity is incredibles and I'd be attracted regardless of physique. You can have the best physique in the world and be a lousy, inattentive lover.
 
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D.is my answer ,C.wouldn't hurt,but what's inside counts the most,some of the most physically beautiful people are rotten on the inside.
 

thetramp

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No..there are more shallow people..

I find it hard to find someone to connect with mentally as well..it takes time to feel good with someone..or see their inner beauty. In todays fast paced life, we don't all take the time to get to know each other anymore..

D-type people see beyond beauty and looks as I see it. They are more type of people who fall attracted to another person's spirit. It doesn't mean that their partner is ugly perse, it just means it wouldn't matter if they were because in their partner eyes they are beautiful due to the beauty of their spirit or something about their character that absolutely draws your attention..

But then your theory, that if we all were Ds, there wouldn't be any singles, seems to be wrong. If we were all D and searching for those beautiful spirits that attract us, there probably would be even more people unable to find a partner.

And of course it is hard to detect a beautiful personality, it takes time, and even tho i am highly attracted to nice smiles, beautiful eyes, swinging hair, the typical things, what really makes a difference to me is the talk.
A sense of humor, especially quick-wittedness give me the feeling of connecting and make we ask for date or a number.
 

B_subgirrl

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I'm also of the opinion, though, that there really isn't that one perfect person for everyone. To some extent, you have to be a little bit flexible in order to be happy in a relationship with another person. The closest I've been able to find to explain what I mean is the explanation Dan Savage gave about The Price of Admission.

YouTube - ‪Dan Savage on The Price of Admission‬‏

I think if you keep rejecting people for a LTR because they aren't perfect, then you'll never be happy because you'll never find that relationship where you build those memories of joy together. You have to face the fact that no one is absolutely perfect, and your partner doesn't have to be in order to have a lifetime of happiness and companionship together.

I feel this way as well. The one perfect person for everyone idea is romantic, but . . .
 

EmJay

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But then your theory, that if we all were Ds, there wouldn't be any singles, seems to be wrong. If we were all D and searching for those beautiful spirits that attract us, there probably would be even more people unable to find a partner.

And of course it is hard to detect a beautiful personality, it takes time, and even tho i am highly attracted to nice smiles, beautiful eyes, swinging hair, the typical things, what really makes a difference to me is the talk.
A sense of humor, especially quick-wittedness give me the feeling of connecting and make we ask for date or a number.


Aahhhh..now I am getting what you are saying...
Sorry..i didnt understand it at first from how i perceived it.:redface:

But..if there were all D's out there..why wouldnt you or they be able to connect with alot more people..if looks don't matter as much..aren't there more options to really connect with..

I believe that in reality there are more shallow people out there..but if the reality is that there are more D's out there..I'm not getting something???