I think the business/meet-and-greet thing is actually a pretty cool idea, but unfortunately there is just no way I could afford to organize such an event (I'm sure I would have to call for reservations to host it in a public area/room/building).
I'm sure it's tough as an under-21er to meet other gay guys for non-sexual reasons. The types of establishments that are usually geared specifically toward gays are bars and dance clubs. You can't get into a bar being under 21, and a dance club is loud (and often pretty sexualized,) so not a place you can just flirt and meet and chat.
Obviously, yeah, getting involved in school groups in the fall is a good idea. (Honestly, even if the groups are geared toward helping people come out or cope, there are probably plenty of guys there who would enjoy hearing your experiences and relating to them.) And, of course, there's always the internet - even the seediest of sites still have guys looking for something other than sex. (I met my ex - who's still my best friend - on Manhunt, of all places, while I was looking for the same thing, guys to meet and flirt and hang out with.)
Maybe try and see if there's a local-ish PFLAG group you can get involved with? You could either go and join a group or volunteer to help. I don't know if being 20 miles away from Hartford means you're closer to another city or if you're 20 miles out into the middle of nowhere, but lots of metropolitan areas - and even smaller populations - have health care centers that cater to the GLBT population. You could volunteer at a place like that, if there's one nearby.
And, yeah, take a Saturday now and again, come up to Boston, spend the day in the South End wandering through the parks and shops and galleries and coffee shops. Or head down to NYC and do the same in Chelsea. I'm sure Hartford has a neighborhood like that, too.
Good luck, and have fun.
I mean, I'm completely open to having a sexually charged conversation with other gay guys! My original intention was actually to do something like this, without necessarily hooking up. I wouldn't mind flirting with some like-minded guys all night, and get some experience in socializing and making conversation in person. And, presumably, I wouldn't have to limit myself to just one guy at a time (unless I meet someone really interesting... and this is where I could see myself possibly taking our "relationship" beyond the club).
The only problem is that a club is not within a convenient distance from me. I live about 20 miles east of Hartford so, along with the rest of Eastern CT, I'm essentially in the middle of nowhere. One other thing about clubs: I don't really know what guys do there. Dancing and drinking, obviously - but what about lounging and chatting? And, well, flirting?
As for PFLAG - I've looked into it and there's a chapter about 15 miles away from me. Not so close but really not too far away from me. I would honestly like to come up to Boston and/or NYC, but what exactly would I gain from walking through these neighborhoods? I don't mean to sound skeptical because it does sound fun - but I don't really know if it's worth the expense and time to travel such a distance (and back) for one day.
Here in the UK there are a number of gay sports and social clubs.
Football (the Stonewall FC does rather well in a London amateur league) but also in other towns. Gay Outdoor Club organises walks, social meets. For the younger crowd, OutdoorLads does hill walking, mountain climbing, camping weekends. There is gay sailing club (there is branch in New York) does not only sailing, but motor boating, yacht charters, even cruises.
The gay sailing club and the football club are even affiliated to their national organisations.
So, lots of opportunities out the gay bar/club scene.
It sounds great and all - but I'm in Connecticut, and even though it's one of the first and few states to allow gay marriage, there is not much else here to cater to the gay population. The only thing CT is really known for is being localized between Boston and New York, and hell, even Providence. The state of CT itself does not offer too much locally, from what I can gather. Of course, I would love to be told something much different.
You have been given some excellent advice, the only thing I can suggest is looking into the social or non-hook up venues near you.
Connecticut Gay and Lesbian Guide - CT Gay Bars, Nightclubs, Organizations and Businesses Maybe you should think about an organization or cause that inspires you and do some volunteer work one or two days a week. When I moved back to Hawaii I joined a couple of groups and met some wonderful people who I hope to develop friendships to last a lifetime.
I've actually used that same page to decide to which clubs I should go for an evening. The ones in Hartford are closest to me (~20 miles away), with the ones in New London being the next closest (~30 miles away). They really don't seem so far away but, to me, it just seems so much worse when I have to consider that I still have to travel back. The statewide services are located in the same cities, approximately.
The main problem seems to be proximity, for me. I guess, at this point, I don't really have much of a choice other than to explore on the internet... And to see what events my school's LGBT center will offer for the next semester.