What Defines Dataing As Gay Man?

kr8zy

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having only come out recently, I am still a little confused as to how relationships work as a gay man. When does friendship turn into dating? I am confronting this now. A man I have gone out with a few times has asked if we can start dating. I kind of assumed we already were. But as a gay man it is harder to tell what is just friendship and what is actually more. Now that we re "dating" what exactly does that mean?
 
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tito21

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What it means is that, you gotta make a hardcore sex tape with your new guy and show it to us! That’s exactly what it means dating another gay man.

On a serious note. Gay dating and relationship is just like any other relationships. Just take it at your own pace and go with the flow. Don’t listen or let anyone tell you how you should live/behave/act in a relationship. Do whatever that makes you comfortable.
 
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'Dating' probably means you don't have to show up at dinner-parties, family-functions and other social gatherings together as an official couple.
You do get to have fun and loads of sex together.
And enjoy figuring it out together with the guy you're dating with.

Relationships can take all kind of forms, find the one that works for both you guys and avoid the things that don't.
 
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winesthel945

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It's no different from straight people... You hang out with someone, and if you enjoy it, you hang out with them more. After a few weeks of that, you try to get the sense if they're hanging out with other people or if you're (willingly, happily) taking up more and more of their time.

Then, after a maybe a month or two of seeing each other regularly, you might broach the subject in a casual way: "hey, so I was going to mention you to a friend of mine and I wasn't sure how to refer to you... are you my boyfriend? Are we dating?"

That's a good way to not overload the moment with expectations or pressures. If he hesitates, then you can always quickly add, "..It's fine either way, I'm enjoying our time together regardless. It would just be nice to know what to call it..." and smile sweetly.

If he does indeed recoil, or hesitates, or demurs, or just looks stricken, then you will have an answer in that too, in that he's maybe not ready to call it anything more than friends/fuckbuddies. Then it's up to you to determine if you are enjoying the status quo, do you want more, are you willing to wait any longer or do you want to set a time limit, etc?

I think 2 or 3 months of serially seeing someone is the point at which, if either of you wants something more serious, you should start defining what's happening. And if neither of you wants anything more serious, then you should use your words and probably say that too so that you both know that you're just there until something better comes along.
 

Jamsion

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This is an interesting thread! Thank you for asking the question. It is good to read what other people are saying. It is important to talk about everything and keep things out in the open.