What Did You Find Out More Than 30 Years Later?

Burghf_er

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Last year I reconnected with a college friend who I had not talked since 1986. Back in college, I swore he had this sixth sense that he could determine, for example, at a party, which woman in the room would be most likely to sleep with him that night. He was always sweet-talking some girl, and I walked in on him having sex more than once. Well, it turned out there was a lot less there than met the eye, except for occasional sex. He told me he feels like he's always had bad luck with women! I know he did not get married until he was in his late 30s, was only married for a few years, had one son and no more children. Last year, he ended a relationship with a woman after several years and announced, at 57, that he would never be in a relationship again! It's all a huge surprise to me. That I'm gay was not a huge surprise to him.
 

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I've found out that what you eat really matters for your health. Some things we do when young and get away with it... we only think we got away with it. Because many health problems grow slowly inside you.

Later on, when you notice you're getting older and start to be more careful, you realize stuff you did in your younger years are catching up.

But you can't change the past.

I've always exercised and watched my weight. But that's not the whole equation. I should have been more careful with stuff I've eaten. It isn't enough it doesn't make you put on weight. It needs to be much better than that.
 

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I discovered over 30 years after the fact the real reason my first love dumped me in high school and that she had regretted it every day of her life since. In my fifties she told me that no other guy she dated or married had measured up to me.

All that time I had assumed she found something about me unlovable or unworthy.
 

Burghf_er

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I've found out that what you eat really matters for your health. Some things we do when young and get away with it... we only think we got away with it. Because many health problems grow slowly inside you.

Later on, when you notice you're getting older and start to be more careful, you realize stuff you did in your younger years are catching up.

But you can't change the past.

I've always exercised and watched my weight. But that's not the whole equation. I should have been more careful with stuff I've eaten. It isn't enough it doesn't make you put on weight. It needs to be much better than that.

Me, too.
 
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Burghf_er

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I discovered over 30 years after the fact the real reason my first love dumped me in high school and that she had regretted it every day of her life since. In my fifties she told me that no other guy she dated or married had measured up to me.

All that time I had assumed she found something about me unlovable or unworthy.

Sigh. My first partner also broke up with me and confessed he regretted it for many years (maybe ever since?) and my second partner tried off and on for 15 years to try to get back together with me (he's now deceased).
 

cedarizzo

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I had a really cool college roommate. He was the all-American, blond haired, blue eyed surfer type guy. I was the in the closet, trying to hide my real life introvert. But he was cool and we hung out a lot when he wasn't busy pledging a fraternity.

My mom had cancer and was in really bad shape for a few years. My grades started to fall so I dropped out of college and moved home. There were 2 guys in my dorm that I missed but I didn't keep in touch with them. Part of my job is locating customers who aren't making their payments. So last year, I put my roommates name into the computer but couldn't find anything. I finally found a newspaper notice that he had died 25 years ago. I couldn't find the obituary, cause of death, family names, or burial/funeral location. It made my upset but also left more questions than answers.
 

Burghf_er

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I had a really cool college roommate. He was the all-American, blond haired, blue eyed surfer type guy. I was the in the closet, trying to hide my real life introvert. But he was cool and we hung out a lot when he wasn't busy pledging a fraternity.

My mom had cancer and was in really bad shape for a few years. My grades started to fall so I dropped out of college and moved home. There were 2 guys in my dorm that I missed but I didn't keep in touch with them. Part of my job is locating customers who aren't making their payments. So last year, I put my roommates name into the computer but couldn't find anything. I finally found a newspaper notice that he had died 25 years ago. I couldn't find the obituary, cause of death, family names, or burial/funeral location. It made my upset but also left more questions than answers.

I just found out that a guy who I was good friends with from 1989 to about 2000 died last year. We never had a falling out. We just fell out of touch. He told me a long time ago that serious heart trouble ran in his family and that he didn't expect to live past 60. He made it to 69. Wish we had not fallen out of touch. Old friends are the best. (See my first post on this thread.)
 

josh20hung

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The people you love the most in the world will let you down and stab you in the back.

That is not true for everyone. My longest friendships are currently at 29 years, and still going strong. There has never once been an instance where any of us have ever done each other wrong. It's been true, unconditional friendship for almost three decades.
 
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That is not true for everyone. My longest friendships are currently at 29 years, and still going strong. There has never once been an instance where any of us have ever done each other wrong. It's been true, unconditional friendship for almost three decades.

I never said it was true for everyone. The thread title states “you find out” not “everyone find out”. I’m talking about my experience. I can’t say the same things that have happened to others in this thread have also happened to me. Not everyone has the same experiences in life. Consider yourself lucky that you’ve never experienced the same betrayal in life that I have from the people I loved the most. Trust me when I say it’s the worst feeling ever.
 
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NCbear

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I've learned and relearned the truism that asskissers, suckups, and others who know how to game the system "succeed." They fast-track up the corporate ladder, making tons of money, and receive a lot of attention and fireworks.

But I've also learned that karma can be especially strong in retaliating. One "asskisser extraordinaire" didn't get the top-level position he thought he'd get, another was embarrassed publicly when asked a series of questions she hadn't been prepared to answer in a university-wide forum, and a third was humiliated by his readily apparent incompetence and had to resign when he'd reached his level of ineptitude (and everyone knew he'd reached it, because it was painfully obvious).

So these days, I'm a lot less jealous of those types' apparent success, because I know that manipulative, unethical moves to advance yourself only yield fairly strong rebukes of those methods.

NCbear (who can sleep well at night knowing I haven't done what those other jackasses, fuckwits, and assclowns did)
 

Burghf_er

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I've learned and relearned the truism that asskissers, suckups, and others who know how to game the system "succeed." They fast-track up the corporate ladder, making tons of money, and receive a lot of attention and fireworks.

But I've also learned that karma can be especially strong in retaliating. One "asskisser extraordinaire" didn't get the top-level position he thought he'd get, another was embarrassed publicly when asked a series of questions she hadn't been prepared to answer in a university-wide forum, and a third was humiliated by his readily apparent incompetence and had to resign when he'd reached his level of ineptitude (and everyone knew he'd reached it, because it was painfully obvious).

So these days, I'm a lot less jealous of those types' apparent success, because I know that manipulative, unethical moves to advance yourself only yield fairly strong rebukes of those methods.

NCbear (who can sleep well at night knowing I haven't done what those other jackasses, fuckwits, and assclowns did)

So you work in higher ed? :laughing:
 

MrTMT

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What I found out more than 30 years later is mostly about sexual techniques (both on jerking off as well as fucking). I would give the existence of the internet and the adult theme sites like this one that have provided me these things. Like they say, sex is like wine, it's getting better with age.
 

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I had a really cool college roommate. He was the all-American, blond haired, blue eyed surfer type guy. I was the in the closet, trying to hide my real life introvert. But he was cool and we hung out a lot when he wasn't busy pledging a fraternity.

My mom had cancer and was in really bad shape for a few years. My grades started to fall so I dropped out of college and moved home. There were 2 guys in my dorm that I missed but I didn't keep in touch with them. Part of my job is locating customers who aren't making their payments. So last year, I put my roommates name into the computer but couldn't find anything. I finally found a newspaper notice that he had died 25 years ago. I couldn't find the obituary, cause of death, family names, or burial/funeral location. It made my upset but also left more questions than answers.

During high school, I participated on a student exchange to Germany. Over the course of the year, I befriended many people. After the year, I did stay in touch with a number of my new friends from the student exchange; however, as life happened to all of us, as it inevitably does, I lost touch with people.

Several years ago, I stumbled across a high school reunion website for a school, which one of those student exchange friends attended. On a page, marked "Dedications", I saw a picture of her with a comment that the photo had been taken just prior to her departure for Germany.

I was able to contact her sister, who emailed me, saying that my friend had died 20 years ago. I was in shock for the rest of that day.
 
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Novaboy

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During high school, I participated on a student exchange to Germany. Over the course of the year, I befriended many people. After the year, I did stay in touch with a number of my new friends from the student exchange; however, as life happened to all of us, as it inevitably does, I lost touch with people.

Several years ago, I stumbled across a high school reunion website for a school, which one of those student exchange friends attended. On a page, marked "Dedications", I saw a picture of her with a comment that the photo had been taken just prior to her departure for Germany.

I was able to contact her sister, who emailed me, saying that my friend had died 20 years ago. I was in shock for the rest of that day.

When we're (reasonably) young, we don't expect to here that people we know have died. I had a similar situation. I was looking through a booklet of my graduating design class that highlighted everyone's final project. I kept checking names on facebook to see if I could find anyone and found the death noticed for one of my former classmates about 6 years after we graduated. It really shook me up even though we were not close and I hadn't seen him since 1990. Just realized that makes it exactly 30 years ago.