What do confidence and intelligence look like to you?

LA8Ball

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Ladies,

Since there seems to be some kind of consensus amongst the females that confidence and intelligence are two most attractive attributes in a man, what makes a man appear confident, and what makes a man intelligent?
 

D_Anne_T_Freeze

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IQ makes a man intelligent. As for confidence, it can't be put into words as it's different for each man. this is a question that can't be answered unless you're talking about a specific person that we both know.
 

IntoxicatingToxin

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For me, what makes a man appear confident is a lot of things. How he carries himself (head up, shoulders back) how he interacts with others (eye contact, back-and-forth conversation), doesn't talk poorly about himself or others, doesn't have a problem asking for what he needs or wants, is able to make fun of himself when he screws up, and is just comfortable in his own skin.

What makes a man intelligent is his ability to carry on conversation, his decision-making skills, presence of common sense. I've always defined intelligence as the "ability to learn"... I don't mind if my man fucks up sometimes, but as long as he's learning from his mistakes and choosing differently next time, that shows an intelligent man, in my opinion.
 

D_Anne_T_Freeze

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For me, what makes a man appear confident is a lot of things. How he carries himself (head up, shoulders back) how he interacts with others (eye contact, back-and-forth conversation), doesn't talk poorly about himself or others, doesn't have a problem asking for what he needs or wants, is able to make fun of himself when he screws up, and is just comfortable in his own skin.

What makes a man intelligent is his ability to carry on conversation, his decision-making skills, presence of common sense. I've always defined intelligence as the "ability to learn"... I don't mind if my man fucks up sometimes, but as long as he's learning from his mistakes and choosing differently next time, that shows an intelligent man, in my opinion.

I get what you're saying however haven't you ever seen these confidence traits in assholes who THINK they're fabulous but aren't? I think confidence can only be called confidence and not arrogance if the guy actually has the qualities that warrant the confidence. I don't know if i'm being very clear here but i hope you get what i'm trying to say.:redface:
 

IntoxicatingToxin

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I get what you're saying however haven't you ever seen these confidence traits in assholes who THINK they're fabulous but aren't? I think confidence can only be called confidence and not arrogance if the guy actually has the qualities that warrant the confidence. I don't know if i'm being very clear here but i hope you get what i'm trying to say.:redface:

I do understand what you're saying, but in most cases arrogance is just another way men express an extreme lack of confidence. I can usually feel the difference, but it's hard to explain the difference in words. Arrogant guys are usually jerks, will usually tease, talk about, or otherwise make fun of other people. They are often times loud and like to be the center of attention.
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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I'm open to a wide variety of expressions in terms of intelligence and aptitude. Both can present in one or many areas. All are appreciated as long as there's a continuing curiosity about the world and desire to learn and understand more about the world.

Apart from bearing, confidence is not something I can see. However, I know genuine confidence when I meet and interact with the person. Imo, usually they're a little self-possessed, yet comfortable approaching others as an equal without condescension, just this is who I am and show me who you are kind of attitude.

He or she is a person one can exchange thoughts, feelings, opinions with and find common ground on some issues, disagree on others and not feel threatened. Can give a compliment and not expect one back. Receive a compliment and say thank you. Hear someone hand out a compliment to another person and offer congratulations, not say, "hey, what about me??"

Like intelligence, there are a variety of expressions, as some people can be generally confident while others tend to be more confident in some things, not others. As long as there's a good foundation of self-respect and respect for others I can work with it.
 

EllieP

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I like what Toxin said, but there's a difference between confidence and arrogance. A confident man is respectful and has manners. He knows which fork to use for each course, but doesn't scold you for using the wrong one. He can pick the right wine but doesn't mind if I want the chilled white.