What Do I Do?!?! Sos

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So I found this guy on grindr. I know him b/c we went to school together last year. We didn't talk AT ALL and he wasn't officially out as gay or bi (sometimes our eyes would meet but I didn't think anything of it). He was also more popular than me and I don't know what that group thought of me in school.

His grindr has no picture and mine doesn't either, so if i message him and he sends me a picture how do I tell him its me? Or if I send him a picture how do I get him to not immediately block me out of embarrassment and/or prejudice?

If anything I just want to talk to him because I think he struggled with his sexuality in the past and I'm happy for him T-T

All advice is welcome, thank you!
 

MusicBear88

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First, stop freaking out. Easy for me to say, harder for you to do, but it's not accomplishing anything.

Second, just talk. Be casual about it, if there were clues that tipped you off as to who he was, say something like "I think we might have known each other in school..." and go from there. Maybe he'll get scared off, but I think it's easier than seeing a picture (possibly a nude one) and then saying "hey, I know you!"
 

pwrdick

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I agree with others that you might not want to contact him on Grindr - it will just make him feel uncomfortable. Remember when you made one of your first trips to an adult bookstore and was scared that someone might see you there? If you ran into someone in reality when you were in there, you'd probably just both be mortified. Besides, your intent is not to hook up with him but rather to be there as a possible friend and ally in his personal evolution.

Is there any other contact mechanism that you have, like Facebook? I would not mention what you saw on Grindr but make the approach MusicBear suggests - e.g. you think you went to school together/have a friend in common and see if he'd be interested in grabbing a cup of coffee with you. And then see how it goes from there. After you become closer, you can admit that you thought it might have been him on Grindr, but doing so earlier than that is too ripe with possible problems.
 

rayray

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So I found this guy on grindr. I know him b/c we went to school together last year. We didn't talk AT ALL and he wasn't officially out as gay or bi (sometimes our eyes would meet but I didn't think anything of it). He was also more popular than me and I don't know what that group thought of me in school.

His grindr has no picture and mine doesn't either, so if i message him and he sends me a picture how do I tell him its me? Or if I send him a picture how do I get him to not immediately block me out of embarrassment and/or prejudice?

If anything I just want to talk to him because I think he struggled with his sexuality in the past and I'm happy for him T-T

All advice is welcome, thank you!
What am i missing here? If neither of you have pictures how do you know who it is?
 

Brodie888

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If you both didn't talk at all in school, then chances are he won't want to speak to you now to be frank.

If you really wanted the best for him then the best thing for you to do is nothing including not telling anyone you know what he gets up to.
 
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tito21

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If you both didn't talk at all in school, then chances are he won't want to speak to you now to be frank.

If you really wanted the best for him then the best thing for you to do is nothing including not telling anyone you know what he gets up to.

This X2!
 

hvdude

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What am i missing here? If neither of you have pictures how do you know who it is?

I agree. What has he said that leaves you to believe it is him? Could be someone trolling to try and out guys from your school. These apps are dangerous b/c there's too much that can be manipulated.