What do men want from women?

Dan the man

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Well I like submissive women, but I don't mean that in a derrogatory way. I'm just not massively into dominant women. I had a girlfriend who was quite dominant, and though we had some good times and laughs, we argued a lot. Probaby because we're both strong minded. Good sense of humour is a must, but not if it's just casual sex with someone. Possibly open to some fetishes ( I have some of those ) but not important if she isn't. Body shape is pretty much unimportant to me, it's the face that does it for me. Example, if a girl was really overweight but she has a pretty face, I'll be turned on.
 

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Reading through all of this, it seems like a common denominator for both men and women is that we long for being loved, respected, and seen for who we really are. The physical attributes and relationship style we want may differ, but we all dream of finding someone who understands us (and loves us regardless of our flaws).

And: Phil A, I think I'm in love...
 

photodudeuk

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What I want from a woman?

1 Interesting conversation
2 A similar or complimentary sense of humour to mine
3 A well-balanced personality
4 Willingness to go the extra mile
5 Ability to laugh at herself
6 Non-smoker
7 Not afraid to speak her own mind in public
8 Non-religious
9 Nice eyes
10 Liking for, or tolerance of, the music of Mozart

If she also wants me to give her mind-blowing orgasms several times a day, then that's a bonus.
 

smarck

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ok,here's my opinion on the subject:if we just want to fuck(one night stand) we need nothing more than a sexy body and a lady willing to do everything in bed!just that!but if we are in love, we need much more than that!love, respect, comprehension and all the things that women also demand from men....!we need to love and be loved in the most ultimate way!
 

Jovial

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Reading through all of this, it seems like a common denominator for both men and women is that we long for being loved, respected, and seen for who we really are. The physical attributes and relationship style we want may differ, but we all dream of finding someone who understands us (and loves us regardless of our flaws).
But the flaws each partner has should be approximately equal and offsetting. Otherwise, I don't think it works.
 

Principessa

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Reading through all of this, it seems like a common denominator for both men and women is that we long for being loved, respected, and seen for who we really are. The physical attributes and relationship style we want may differ, but we all dream of finding someone who understands us (and loves us regardless of our flaws).
And: Phil A, I think I'm in love...

But the flaws each partner has should be approximately equal and offsetting. Otherwise, I don't think it works.
I don't understand how you would be able to determine if another persons flaws are approximately equal to your own. :confused: Does that mean that a divorced man can't date a woman who has never been married? Do divorced people need to date only other divorced people?


I don't mean to imply that divorced people are flawed. I am just trying to understand what you meant.


The same as reverse
:wtf1: and in English your post means . . . .
 

Phil Ayesho

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Can you tell me why there seem to be more of these men out and about than ever before?

Because the past 30 years of American culture has demonized men. And overly feminized society.

American women, in particular, treat their men like shit. This has become so much a part of our world, today, that you don't even see it.
Everything male is painted as bad, as shallow, as wrong. As stupid...

Our aching for you has been classified as "objectification" , our physical bravery called aggression... our wanting to provide for you called "domination"...
...and when women complain that we don't share our feelings... it turns out that doing so just gets us in trouble; we are told to our face that our feeling are wrong and that we should feel otherwise... or worse, left to try and guess what we are supposed to say that will be okay...

at 20... men talk just as much as women... by 40 we have learned to keep our mouths shut, because you don't really want to know how we feel or what we think... you want us to say the things you think we ought to say, and feel the things you think we ought to feel...

Look at Televsion... every woman on every sitcom is smart and competent and every husband is a doofus, a jerk...

I know lots of men who are fuck em and ferget em types... but they did not start out that way... they became that way after being hurt by several women in a row....

So... you women, your attitudes toward men are reflected in how you raise your boys... your culture tells them their whole lives that men are worthless fuckers....

What do you expect them to become?

When male attributes are not valued, men feel worthless. And act accordingly.


Been there, done that more than once; and I'm still single.
Can't speak for your situation... I have seen many who are, sadly, only attracted to the worst kind of man. But, generally... What I have observed is that the initial high regard and glowing admiration women feel when falling in love, very rapidly becomes something else...

Ridicule, and fault finding replace warmth and respect.

And it happens very subtly... step by step...

Ask yourself... when you are out with your close female friends... how do you speak of the men in your lives?

Chances are.. you are making fun of them...

People change they can't stay the same way forever. Maybe he grew and changed into a man who was no longer worthy of her respect.

This is exactly what I would expect to hear from a woman who can not maintain respect for any man.
Could that be the issue?

American women are always right, these days... unwilling to examine their own behavior... demanding of men and unwilling to admit fault...

Listen, Einstein once said that Women marry men in the hope that they will change, and men marry women in the hope that they will not change... and both end up disappointed.

Men don't change much... while courting, they are trying to be the best guy they can be...
But it sounds to me like you can't tolerate finding out that they are just men... with weaknesses and faults like any other human being..

I am the same man, today, that I was when I was 30...
But you can never know me.
We are, each of us, alone in this life...

No one ever really knows another... how they think, how they feel, deep down...

All you ever know of anyone else is a DECISION that you make in your head about that person. Your experience of them, and the decisions you make about that experience create a THEORY of that person in your mind.

You see their actions and hear their words and YOU interpret them based upon some assumption you make about them.

If you believe me to be a good man... you will interpret my actions to be well intentioned, nobel, or heroic... and the model of me in your head will seem like a good man to you.

If you believe me to be a bad man... the exact same actions on my part you will interpret to be ill-intentioned... machiavellian or manipulative...

Neither of these theories are actually me. They are just a belief you have formed about me... A decision you have made about why you think I do the things I do.


So, I did not change at all... what changed was that, at some point, you started to suspect that I was not so good a man, and thereafter, EVERYTHING I did was cast in a bad light in your mind.
And this, step by step.. gradually changed your theory of me... until it became impossible for any action I could take to be seen as kind, genuine, or loving...

Over time, as the result of small infractions and injuries, failings and things said in anger, the Theories we have of each other change...

The image we have of each other in our mind's eye become further and further from the image we had when we fell in love...
And, usually further and further from the truth of our partner.

Both men and women do this to each other... allow their images of each other to decay, drift, erode.


I am saying that real love is denying this... to realize that you have a choice about what you will believe, or not believe, about your mate.

My wife and I have the same fights, the same disappointments as any other couple... but when I look into her eyes, every morning, I CHOOSE to see the woman I found so admirable, strong, and delightful the day we met.

I let go of the hurts, the slights and the insensitivities of the past...and really, genuinely forget them...
I do so because I believe she only hurts me because she feels that I have hurt her... whether I did so intentionally or not doesn't matter...

We hurt each other when we feel hurt... Is that not something I can forgive?

I recognize that she and I, both, are blundering thru this life together...bound to step on each other's toes from time to time...


Whether you realize it or not... every interaction with your mate is an opportunity to choose....

Love is that condition of choosing to believe in the integrity of your mate.


That's not fair. I guess I am one of those rare women that loves with her whole heart, all the way and unconditionally. I have loved men like that in the past and been told it was irrational and illogical of me to expect him to be able to love me unconditionally. He said that kind of love is only between a parent and child or siblings. This led me to believe that all men thought this way.

Well, first of all, I am not advocating unconditional love. Because I don't believe in it. Others need to be worthy of love...

It IS possible to hook up with and believe in a man who isn't worthy of your love.

I am advocating for a reasonable expectation of your partner... to recognize that, for every small injury he does to you, you have done one to him. To not place importance on the little stupid things....

This is not to say you should ignore armed robbery...or alcoholism...

As to it being unfair to say women do not repsond to men as we do to women... I am sorry- but then who told you life was fair?
Its simply a fact...
It has nothing to do with being able to love with your whole heart...
Its a physical response... a bodily response.

Women certainly feel strongly about and for men... but the mere sight of one doesn't make you cry; doesn't make you ache with a physical yearning that pulls from the center of you.

The great shame is that men need women far more than the reverse.

In today's world, I see a schizophrenia in American men. By the time they are 30 they are so sick of the way they are treated by women... but they still want you so, ache for you so, that they can not walk away...

Think about this...
A 40 year old man will literally walk away from everything he has spent his entire life building, just for the feeling of being admired and desired by a woman.

Women want us to go the distance... to stay true to them into old age....

But can you go the distance with us? Can you respect us and admire us and treat us with, at the very least, the same regard you show perfect strangers?

I was the one doing all the loving and jumping through the hoops in my last relationship.
as I said before... its is possible you are only attracted to men who are assholes...
Its a tragic but common fate.


I admit it. I have some difficulty with the forget part of forgive and forget.
That is very honest of you to admit... but you should not feel too bad about it... nearly all women, these days, are unable to really forgive. It partly comes form the culture that tells women they are always right...and men always wrong...
but its also just female nature to tally transgressions...

I can put the seat down 99% of the time, and I get no credit for that... instead she will remember every single instance of my leaving it up. And what does she say, on that rare occasion when I leave it up? ..."you always leave the seat up!"

And that exaggeration is the theory she has of me in her head... she really believes that of me... and it colors her impression of every moment...

But I ask you... is something so trivial really worth sacrificing the quality of a relationship over?
WHo cares? Does he come home to you every night? Do his best to bring in some money? Cherish you?


In my experience Men RISE to the occasion... You treat them like they are a prince and they will strive to act like a prince.

When a woman holds me in high regard... I want to measure up in her eyes... I want to confirm her faith in me...

So I suggest this... just TRY it. Just try believing the best of him... and let him feel that you feel that way.

I want to be a better man for a woman who believes in me... if she has already condemned me.... than what expectation do I have to live up to?

Trust me... expect him to be a shit... and he will make that dream come true.
 

Scarlet Thelema

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What men are looking for from women...
Both easy and hard to answer...I can't really speak for that subset of men who simply want to nail as much pussy as they can before they die....
But I can tell you what a man who wants one good woman wants...

its simple...
Men want women to want us the way we want them.
Men want a woman to respond to our touch welcomingly, eagerly.
We want you to find us admirable and desirable.
If we are a good man... then we want to see in your eyes that you see that in us.

Gals... if you are letting your man feel like you are doing him a favor by having sex with him... if you are always telling him how he is wrong about every little thing.... if you always find insult or some other breach in the way he expresses himself.... treat him like you feel he is a doofus.., idiot, incapable...

Well, then you are gonna wake up one day to find him gone.

...To tell you the truth, the other woman's age probably will have more to do with being young enough, un-jaded enough, to be able to treat a man like she thinks the world of him.
Women lose men when they lose respect for them.

You gals really have no idea the effect you have on us. I have never met a woman yet who can understand the next sentence; but every man who reads it will... A woman can be so beautiful to look at that its painful.
We wish you felt that way about us. ( you feel that way about your children... but not us)



You want to keep a man? then make an effort to keep a high regard for him, and to show him you feel that way. Make him feel like his physical interest in you is not an annoyance, not disgusting, and your body not a "reward" for jumping thru some hoop...

Long term Love is not accidental... every day you wake up, you have a decision to make... for both men and women... Are you going to allow yourself to believe something about him that lessens him in your eyes...?
Or are you going to choose to believe the best of him?
Choose to see him the same way you did when the flush of love was fevered?


The hard work of love is to not care that each other isn't perfect... to shrug off the pain of an unintended slight... If you are with a good man, or a good woman... then you must elect to see them, every day of your lives, with new eyes.

That was beautiful, and actually brought tears to my eyes. I've never read a man's feelings so clearly and concisely worded.

I left this board for a while because I thought I had found just that. A man with whom I shared interests, friends, future goals and aspirations. We met and it was like lightning flashed between our eyes, some instant recognition. When he looked down at me, smiling, I felt actual warmth radiate through my body. We talked for hours into the night, like old friends, but the sex also was fantastic! Quite a rare combination to find. Mutual respect, similar sense of humour, tenderness...I could have loved him so easily...

But just because of those things, because we got along so well, because I looked at him with adoration and respect, because I made the choice to hope for a life together and open my heart to him, he took all the kindness he'd previously flooded me with...and withdrew it.

You see, he has dated only girls with whom he shared mild conversation, passing interest, and physical attraction. He's met only one other woman with whom he could talk and laugh without noticing time pass, and she is a close friend. To have found that in me, he recognizes only friendship. He thinks there is no possibility for a relationship together, since it's so different from what he's known. He's afraid of being hurt, and afraid of hurting me.

And so, I go on with my life alone, hoping someday to rekindle what was lost. I thought I knew quite well what men wanted from women: respect, honesty, intellect, joy, mutual effort in communication and understanding, grace, beauty, dedication, strength, adoration, love, tenderness...but this has shaken me to my core. I gave him all of that, and because of it, he turned away.
 

Not_Punny

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Because the past 30 years of American culture has demonized men. And overly feminized society.

(snip)

I heartily agree. There is no room for a man in a feminist world.

Women can be "men" out in the world -- but at home, for a relationship to work, women CANNOT bring their balls home. (Of course, some men ARE content to be the "feminine" member of a relationship. But most men prefer to "be the man.")

If a woman can't treat her man like a king, she'll never be treated like a queen.
 

Principessa

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Because the past 30 years of American culture has demonized men. And overly feminized society.
:rofl: ROTFLMAO You have got to be kidding me! :biggrin1:I don't know where you live; but that is certainly not the case anywhere I have ever lived.
American women, in particular, treat their men like shit.
What country are you from? It seems clear that you don't like this country nor the people in it.
This has become so much a part of our world, today, that you don't even see it. Everything male is painted as bad, as shallow, as wrong. As stupid...
NOT! :12:

Our aching for you has been classified as "objectification",
You mean Hooter's Girls?:confused: That is objectification; and that ache you speak of isn't love; but lust.
Our physical bravery called aggression...
Hmm, not sure what you mean here. As I can't remember the last time a man slayed a dragon for me or went out and killed a wild boar so our family could eat.
Our wanting to provide for you called "domination"...
When a man who barely made it out of high school and works as a hospital orderly tells his bride she can't work; because he is the man of the house and he will provide for them even though she has a decent job which together with his salary allows them to live a plain, yet comfortable life. That is dommination.
...
and when women complain that we don't share our feelings... it turns out that doing so just gets us in trouble; we are told to our face that our feelings are wrong and that we should feel otherwise... or worse, left to try and guess what we are supposed to say that will be okay...
This only happens when you allow yourself to be suckered in by immature twits. A real woman doesn't play games like that.

at 20... men talk just as much as women... by 40 we have learned to keep our mouths shut, because you don't really want to know how we feel or what we think... you want us to say the things you think we ought to say, and feel the things you think we ought to feel...
I remember 20, guys didn't talk that much about their feelings. Everything they did at 20 revolved around getting laid. :tongue::rolleyes:



Look at Televsion... every woman on every sitcom is smart and competent and every husband is a doofus, a jerk... I know lots of men who are fuck em and ferget em types... but they did not start out that way... they became that way after being hurt by several women in a row....
"every woman on every sitcom is smart and competent and every husband is a doofus, a jerk..." Sorry dude but a broad sweeping generalization like this is totally incorrect. Also, I believe in home training. Boys learn from their fathers how to treat a woman. In single parent households the woman does the best she can; but what if she doesn't date until the kid is in college and their are no uncles or kind neighbors around? He may never have a positive, male, role model. These are the men that usually start out as 'players'

So... you women, your attitudes toward men are reflected in how you raise your boys... your culture tells them their whole lives that men are worthless fuckers....DUDE! Dial back the anger a notch. :confused: Are you speaking of Black and Hispanic and Latino men? They have unfortunately been heavily maligned throughout American history.

What do you expect them to become? When male attributes are not valued, men feel worthless. And act accordingly.
That train goes both ways buddy. Men have under-appreciated women from time immemorial.

Can't speak for your situation... I have seen many who are, sadly, only attracted to the worst kind of man. I used to think that was the case but it's really not. Not in the way you mean anyway. My problem was I tend to end up with men who are momma's boys and momma is always a problem at some point.

Ask yourself... when you are out with your close female friends... how do you speak of the men in your lives?
Glowingly, they were all jealous that I had such a catch


Chances are.. you are making fun of them...This is exactly what I would expect to hear from a woman who can not maintain respect for any man. Could that be the issue
For some women, yes; for me NO!

Listen, Einstein once said that Women marry men in the hope that they will change, and men marry women in the hope that they will not change... and both end up disappointed.

Men don't change much... while courting, they are trying to be the best guy they can be...
That may be part of the problem. Men put on their Sunday best in so far as manners, demeanor, stc. and then 4 months down the road you've got a cave man sitting on your sofa in his boxer shorts saying, 'pull my finger'.

*SNIP*
If you believe me to be a good man... you will interpret my actions to be well intentioned, nobel, or heroic... and the model of me in your head will seem like a good man to you.

If you believe me to be a bad man... the exact same actions on my part you will interpret to be ill-intentioned... machiavellian or manipulative...

Neither of these theories are actually me. They are just a belief you have formed about me... A decision you have made about why you think I do the things I do.


So, I did not change at all... what changed was that, at some point, you started to suspect that I was not so good a man, and thereafter, EVERYTHING I did was cast in a bad light in your mind.
And this, step by step.. gradually changed your theory of me... until it became impossible for any action I could take to be seen as kind, genuine, or loving... WHOA! Who messed you up?! Don't take it out on me or the women of this board. :cool:

*SNIP*
 

whatireallywant

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:rofl: ROTFLMAO You have got to be kidding me! :biggrin1:I don't know where you live; but that is certainly not the case anywhere I have ever lived.
What country are you from? It seems clear that you don't like this country nor the people in it.
NOT! :12:

You mean Hooter's Girls?:confused: That is objectification; and that ache you speak of isn't love; but lust. Hmm, not sure what you mean here. As I can't remember the last time a man slayed a dragon for me or went out and killed a wild boar so our family could eat. When a man who barely made it out of high school and works as a hospital orderly tells his bride she can't work; because he is the man of the house and he will provide for them even though she has a decent job which together with his salary allows them to live a plain, yet comfortable life. That is dommination. ...
This only happens when you allow yourself to be suckered in by immature twits. A real woman doesn't play games like that.

I remember 20, guys didn't talk that much about their feelings. Everything they did at 20 revolved around getting laid. :tongue::rolleyes:


"every woman on every sitcom is smart and competent and every husband is a doofus, a jerk..." Sorry dude but a broad sweeping generalization like this is totally incorrect. Also, I believe in home training. Boys learn from their fathers how to treat a woman. In single parent households the woman does the best she can; but what if she doesn't date until the kid is in college and their are no uncles or kind neighbors around? He may never have a positive, male, role model. These are the men that usually start out as 'players'

So... you women, your attitudes toward men are reflected in how you raise your boys... your culture tells them their whole lives that men are worthless fuckers....DUDE! Dial back the anger a notch. :confused: Are you speaking of Black and Hispanic and Latino men? They have unfortunately been heavily maligned throughout American history.

That train goes both ways buddy. Men have under-appreciated women from time immemorial.

Can't speak for your situation... I have seen many who are, sadly, only attracted to the worst kind of man. I used to think that was the case but it's really not. Not in the way you mean anyway. My problem was I tend to end up with men who are momma's boys and momma is always a problem at some point.

Glowingly, they were all jealous that I had such a catch

For some women, yes; for me NO!

Listen, Einstein once said that Women marry men in the hope that they will change, and men marry women in the hope that they will not change... and both end up disappointed.

That may be part of the problem. Men put on their Sunday best in so far as manners, demeanor, stc. and then 4 months down the road you've got a cave man sitting on your sofa in his boxer shorts saying, 'pull my finger'.
*SNIP*
If you believe me to be a good man... you will interpret my actions to be well intentioned, nobel, or heroic... and the model of me in your head will seem like a good man to you.

If you believe me to be a bad man... the exact same actions on my part you will interpret to be ill-intentioned... machiavellian or manipulative...

Neither of these theories are actually me. They are just a belief you have formed about me... A decision you have made about why you think I do the things I do.


So, I did not change at all... what changed was that, at some point, you started to suspect that I was not so good a man, and thereafter, EVERYTHING I did was cast in a bad light in your mind.
And this, step by step.. gradually changed your theory of me... until it became impossible for any action I could take to be seen as kind, genuine, or loving... WHOA! Who messed you up?! Don't take it out on me or the women of this board. :cool:

*SNIP*

Thank you NJ!!! :smile: I'm not sure I could've responded to this because of seeing too much red...:biggrin1:
 

D_Prudence_Admonition_Drightits

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Some men and women are into size.......

Hung men and sizequeens are into it

Some men and women are into worship.......

Hung men and hot women are into it

Some women are into moaning

Some men and women would just like a shag.....

(What a dull and boring thread. Is this what I am missing by not being straight? Remember and look at the first page; just consider how much this has progressed)

If you found this to be a dull and boring thread, why did you even bother to post? There is a topic for everyone on LPSG's various threads.You know what I do, post to those things I am only interested about. It is called being kind, courteous, and respectful.
 

D_Prudence_Admonition_Drightits

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Cin, in response to your question: more directness. Do not ask questions you don't want us to answer, honestly and succinctly. "Does this dress make me look fat" is off-limits. Do not ask it. Find some other way to fish for compliments. A better way to force a man to give a compliment would be "What do you like best about this dress?" We men have a limitation - we can only answer the questions you do ask, not the ones you want us to hear and interpret.

If we ask you a question, don't read things into it; give us an honest answer to the actual question. "Honey, what do you want to do for our anniversary?" should never, EVER be answered "Oh, nothing..." unless you really mean "nothing." We will take your answer at face value! Honestly, we really are not equipped to be able to figure out that when you scratch your left cheek as you say "oh, nothing" that we are supposed to read that as "I want to go to the Bahamas."

Don't expect us to read your mind. It ain't gonna happen. And don't hold it against us when we cannot read your mind.

And most men would rather be kicked in the balls than to hear the phrase, "If you loved me, you would know _____."

To sum it all up, don't be so subtle. We just don't get it.

You are right DC Deep you make a very valid argument. Personally, I am the type of woman that says exactly what I want and exactly what I like. Therefore men may perceive me as a bitch because I do.

Me personally, I know I have a big butt, so I don't ask if something makes me look wide. All I want to know is if the dress looks okay. What women would like for men to not say is "yeah, mmmm, yeah" to everything. I could walk out with pants on my head and hear, "yes, dear that looks nice."
Men want directness....we want sincerity and thoughtfulness. Even when they may not be interest in whatever we ask, just show a small bit of attention. Lord knows I have to sit through stuff I don't like and give a valid opinion. I don't mind because it is love. If I love someone enough, and I know something really matters, I will give it the thought it deserves.

When a woman gets to the point of saying "oh nothing", it means she has already come shy of hitting you upside the head with what she wanted, you just did not listen. I ask my husband what he wants for his birthday, he gets what he asked for. He asks me what I want for my birthday, I tell him, but I don't get it. Instead I receive something he thought I wanted. It is very frustrating to know that men do not listen to the full sentence, you pick and choose what is to be heard. We women do use more adjectives, we don't just say we want a dress, we say we want a red dress with spaghetti strap, short length, made of rayon, saw it in a book.... Men only hear, we want a red dress and the rest of the words must fly away.

So to sum it up, learn to be better listeners, use more thought, and try to show she is important enough and a partner that has value.