What do women prefer if the guy cums real quick?

[HungPirate]

Hi ladies, I'd like your opinion on what you think is the best thing to do if you've had some great foreplay and the sex is just hitting full intensity when your guy has to cum.

My question is because two weeks ago I had the first major PE experience of my life. I'm 24 and have had two long-term relationships, always had good control and most nights would hold to the end, sometimes I'd do an encore. But both of those girls were overweight, as was I, and it was pretty simple sex -- after the last breakup I decided to get in shape and try for a girl that was more attractive, and two weeks ago was the big night with the first "hot chick" I've had -- I actually held off ejaculating for several days, had visions of an epic all-night performance.

She liked my size during foreplay -- seemed to give oral for the challenge of it. Then on went the condom, and once I was all the way in and giving it to her, the approval from her was pretty awesome to hear -- too awesome, I started feeling it creeping up on me but figured I could hold it, then I felt I might be cumming anyway. I pulled out and, not sure of how badly I'd blown it, told her I thought there was a problem with the condom, went to the bathroom, found I'd shot quite a bit. I've been off the philosophy to never brag or apologize during sex, just do my best, so I said nothing, put on a new condom, since I was still pretty hard. I went back out and tried to keep going, but slipped out of the condom. Long story short, she thought I wasn't feeling enough, suggested we go without the condom for a while, I didn't want to, she tried more oral, got me semi-hard. Back in with the condom, had trouble for quite a while, finally got hard again and she came real fast (definitely not fake), then she didn't offer to get me off, hinted I should leave. No answer to my call the week after.

Like I said, I wasn't trying to lie, just not make excuses and thought I should try continuing -- obviously not the best move in hindsight.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Hi ladies, I'd like your opinion on what you think is the best thing to do if you've had some great foreplay and the sex is just hitting full intensity when your guy has to cum.

My question is because two weeks ago I had the first major PE experience of my life. I'm 24 and have had two long-term relationships, always had good control and most nights would hold to the end, sometimes I'd do an encore. But both of those girls were overweight, as was I, and it was pretty simple sex -- after the last breakup I decided to get in shape and try for a girl that was more attractive, and two weeks ago was the big night with the first "hot chick" I've had -- I actually held off ejaculating for several days, had visions of an epic all-night performance.

She liked my size during foreplay -- seemed to give oral for the challenge of it. Then on went the condom, and once I was all the way in and giving it to her, the approval from her was pretty awesome to hear -- too awesome, I started feeling it creeping up on me but figured I could hold it, then I felt I might be cumming anyway. I pulled out and, not sure of how badly I'd blown it, told her I thought there was a problem with the condom, went to the bathroom, found I'd shot quite a bit. I've been off the philosophy to never brag or apologize during sex, just do my best, so I said nothing, put on a new condom, since I was still pretty hard. I went back out and tried to keep going, but slipped out of the condom. Long story short, she thought I wasn't feeling enough, suggested we go without the condom for a while, I didn't want to, she tried more oral, got me semi-hard. Back in with the condom, had trouble for quite a while, finally got hard again and she came real fast (definitely not fake), then she didn't offer to get me off, hinted I should leave. No answer to my call the week after.

Like I said, I wasn't trying to lie, just not make excuses and thought I should try continuing -- obviously not the best move in hindsight.

First of all, kudos to you for sticking with the condom despite her offer to go with out. Sensible choice, respecting both you and her.

Secondly, I'm sorry but I have a very hard time believing that her cumming as soon as you got back to fucking was not fake - it was followed by no more sex and hints to leave and not answering your call. She faked it to get rid of you. I'm not trying to be mean, I think she'd have had a much better time if she'd relaxed with you and carried on, etc., but I think she thought you were having problems staying hard for her and that changed her enjoyment.

She may have taken it personally - may have thought you weren't that attracted to her - or maybe she wasn't having fun and just wanted an out. I have no idea. But the chances that the 'quick cum' and brush off involved a real orgasm for her are slim.

I also think it is less likely to have gone that way had you been honest with her about your own orgasm. When you did slip out of the condom due to being too soft she was totally willing to try stimulating you other ways. That suggests to me that, had you been honest, she would have coped similarly with the situation and you would have both had a much better time.

Honesty is always the best policy - if the other person can't handle it then you find something out about that person.

As you can see, I answered 'other' to your poll. That's because I believe each situation is different and there is no one good way to handle an early load blow. Some guys can carry on fucking til the erection comes back, some can't. Some guys need a period of no stimulation after orgasm, some don't. And so on - in fact, the same guy, on different occasions will want or need different things. So why have a formula for what should be done? To borrow from the Little Book of HickBoy, you should do whatever is appropriate to the moment.

 

[B_crackoff]

Dude!

Don't sweat it, but did you never see There's Something About Mary? You shudda choked the chicken first!

Chalk it up to experience - she didn't make you come - nerves did - her moaning was probably the trigger- & it's not great is it? Use some gaffer tape next time, or earplugs!

Anyone who dumps you after 1 night of sex was never going to be a keeper - next time make sure the girl knows by ripping the condom off & spraying her face - at least you'll feel a certain satisafaction if she dumps you, & delight if she doesn't.

Look, if you want to get into the terrible world of shagging about, ultimately you have to develop an ego the size of a planet if you're a guy. You also CANNOT care a jot about the person that you are having sex with. You're the artist, & they are your canvas.

It becomes second nature, & once you get that way, trust me you can control anything.

That said, in the long term, it's not a good way to be - there's more to life than poking snatch after snatch - after about 30 you really don't come across anything new. I could never seen any point in having sex with anyone more than once that I couldn't see any future with more than once.

Face it, you really didn't care that much about that girl except as a conquest - & she probably knew the score too, which is why she was disappointed that you weren't more of a stud.

Either forget about having random sex based on looks rather than personality, or just stop sweating about what the hell they think about you. You nailed her right? Job done. You should have fucked off back to a bar & told your friends! Stop caring about what they think, & PE won't be an issue. Honest. It's a mindset - you have to know that you're the man.

You probably won't find any worthwhile relationship this way, but neither you, nor they would be after that. You're 24, have the time of your life - & get rid of all of this silliness now, rather than at a later age.

 

[molotovmuffin]

What manly said. Also, if you had been honest with her and not made her do all the work trying to get you hard again (that would have pissed me off to no end, btw) and made it your desire to get her off, then you might have gotten a second round that night and a second date.

 

[HungPirate]

First of all, kudos to you for sticking with the condom despite her offer to go with out. Sensible choice, respecting both you and her.

Secondly, I'm sorry but I have a very hard time believing that her cumming as soon as you got back to fucking was not fake - it was followed by no more sex and hints to leave and not answering your call. She faked it to get rid of you. I'm not trying to be mean, I think she'd have had a much better time if she'd relaxed with you and carried on, etc., but I think she thought you were having problems staying hard for her and that changed her enjoyment.

She may have taken it personally - may have thought you weren't that attracted to her - or maybe she wasn't having fun and just wanted an out. I have no idea. But the chances that the 'quick cum' and brush off involved a real orgasm for her are slim.

I also think it is less likely to have gone that way had you been honest with her about your own orgasm. When you did slip out of the condom due to being too soft she was totally willing to try stimulating you other ways. That suggests to me that, had you been honest, she would have coped similarly with the situation and you would have both had a much better time.

Honesty is always the best policy - if the other person can't handle it then you find something out about that person.

As you can see, I answered 'other' to your poll. That's because I believe each situation is different and there is no one good way to handle an early load blow. Some guys can carry on fucking til the erection comes back, some can't. Some guys need a period of no stimulation after orgasm, some don't. And so on - in fact, the same guy, on different occasions will want or need different things. So why have a formula for what should be done? To borrow from the Little Book of HickBoy, you should do whatever is appropriate to the moment.

1) Yes, I was conscious of how quickly I came the first time and did not want to repeat that without the condom. Like I said, at the time I was thinking it was going to be a long night.

2) I anticipated such a reaction and that's why, without going into the whole play-by-play, I simply said she definitely wasn't faking. During foreplay she said I was a couple inches bigger than she'd had, and once in, she was "oh God that's going to make me cum" wanting it slow and deep, every time saying she was going to cum so soon if I kept it up, and that pushed me over the edge. Once I came I was still hard and still wanted that Hot Pussy waiting for me, but by the time we were back in the groove she was telling me to go deeper, deeper, then started bucking against me trying to force it deep -- I realized I wasn't as hard as before, which made me self-conscious of what had happened, and despite trying to pick up the pace, it just made me slip out of the condom. I think she was fixated on her earlier near-orgasm from just penetration and wanted me to finish the experience for her. But once she had that, the unevenness of my performance got me the judge's buzzer. To her I was that awesome supercar that you can't live with as a daily driver because it stalls at traffic lights.

3) As I said, I was not trying to be dishonest. I was still hard when I put the 2nd condom on. I thought I could still perform and very much wanted to. By the time I slipped out of the condom and she was resorting to mouth-to-cock resuscitation, trying to explain my earlier PE just seemed to me like a guy making excuses -- either get hard or go home -- she was trying to help, so I figured I'd get hard again and fuck all night. Nothing would put a smile on her face faster than a hard cock in her pussy. The individual decisions seemed simple and correct, but when I add up the whole sequence I figure there had to be a better answer.

 

[curiousvirgin]

Don't worry too much about performance, its totally ok that you came quick...just enjoy yourself and satisfy her as best as you can, if not with your phallus, that try to be imaginative and use the other means (i.e. hands and mouth) girls enjoy all kinds of stimulation...

I can't say how it is for other women, but the greatest turn on for me is if hes really passionate (into her) and confident in bed.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I was that awesome supercar

Whatever makes you feel better, dude. I've stated my opinion, you don't have to like it.

 

[B_Nia88]

If you cum to quickly thats ok. As long as you tried your best. Don't put so much pressure on yourself besides it is flattering knowing I made you that excited.

 

[shyguy1985]

I agree with the first response.

Honesty.

I hadnt had sex for a while then when I finally did, well I came straight away into foreplay. I cleaned up and we went back to foreplay. Then after that because i'd already cum I was able to actually have sex for much longer and get her off a few times in the process.

Second time I didnt want to bolt so early, so after a little bit of foreplay I rubbered up and we went at - about 15 minutes later I was done. I remember she said 'that was uh *slow pause* nice' which to me translated as quick, which it was (certainly compared to last time when we went hours)

So, like the time before I clean up and we went back to foreplay when I was hard again, I rubbered up again and again, we went for a long time with her having an orgasm or two.

As you've not been honest the lady in question probably thinks you're failure to keep hard is because of her. In my situation my 'down time' as you will was because I'd cum, she knew that - we waited, and 5 minutes later I was up and ready to go again.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Look, if you want to get into the terrible world of shagging about, ultimately you have to develop an ego the size of a planet if you're a guy. You also CANNOT care a jot about the person that you are having sex with. You're the artist, & they are your canvas.

I don't disagree with everything you said but holy fuck this is one of the worst bits of advice I have ever read here!

You have to care about the people you are sharing yourself with, even if only for the few hours you're with them.

 

[JR7]

I agree with one of Crackoff's points wholeheartedly. If you insist on using a condom, you absolutely must pull it off and show your cumshot, even if it's premature. This girl was turned off more by your steadfast adherence to rubber use than the premature ejaculation. Also, I think she knew you came. You left this out of your story, but I'm certain that if you excused yourself to the bathroom, saw that you shot a full load in your condom, and then went back for oral and hand stimulation from this girl, she would have known by all of the post-cum that you spooged. Even if you dried yourself off, when you were in her mouth, you'd leak post-cum and she'd know that you took off a cum-filled rubber in the bathroom. Therefore, yes, she was offended not by your premature ejaculation, but your lying by omission.

Nothing is more honest than a cumshot. Porno directors realized this as far back as 1977 and that's why by that year, no film was deemed complete unless all couplings (and orgies) ended with a visible, external cumshot. The female had to know that she pleased the male and the audience had to know that at least the male got off. (This was before the era of female ejaculation.) You should have ripped off the rubber when you came, showed her she got you off. Let her re-stimulate you and then fucked again. I would also say you should have fucked her w/o a condom when offered, but I can see your concern in this regard. If you're randomly hooking up, you never can be to careful re: diseases and of course pregnancy.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I'm so glad that, in my promiscuous days, I never fucked blokes like crackoff and JR7.

You have to whip the condom off and show off the cumshot? I'm capable of seeing cum in the reservoir of a condom - I don't want to be fucked for show and I don't want to be the canvas for a pathetic 'paint by numbers' fucking. I don't see how any woman would want that.

 

[Serial Kisser]

I agree with one of Crackoff's points wholeheartedly. If you insist on using a condom, you absolutely must pull it off and show your cumshot, even if it's premature. This girl was turned off more by your steadfast adherence to rubber use than the premature ejaculation. Also, I think she knew you came. You left this out of your story, but I'm certain that if you excused yourself to the bathroom, saw that you shot a full load in your condom, and then went back for oral and hand stimulation from this girl, she would have known by all of the post-cum that you spooged. Even if you dried yourself off, when you were in her mouth, you'd leak post-cum and she'd know that you took off a cum-filled rubber in the bathroom. Therefore, yes, she was offended not by your premature ejaculation, but your lying by omission.

Nothing is more honest than a cumshot. Porno directors realized this as far back as 1977 and that's why by that year, no film was deemed complete unless all couplings (and orgies) ended with a visible, external cumshot. The female had to know that she pleased the male and the audience had to know that at least the male got off. (This was before the era of female ejaculation.) You should have ripped off the rubber when you came, showed her she got you off. Let her re-stimulate you and then fucked again. I would also say you should have fucked her w/o a condom when offered, but I can see your concern in this regard. If you're randomly hooking up, you never can be to careful re: diseases and of course pregnancy.

No offense, but I think only a moron would be turned off by someone's strict adherence to using freaking protection. Honestly. That has to be one of the most asinine comments I've ever read.


Also - If a guy ever pulled his condom off and showed me his cumshot - that would be the last time I shared myself with him. You need to stop assuming what a girl wants/needs in bed, because you are clearly clueless on the matter. It makes me curious of what kind of women you're sleeping with that allow you to pull of that behavior with your current attitude.

And you do realize that your last two statements are a contradiction? Your responses just reiterate how frustrating it is when MEN (and I'm using that term loosely) come to the women's forum and answer questions aimed at women.

 

[Serial Kisser]

I'm so glad that, in my promiscuous days, I never fucked blokes like crackoff and JR7.

You have to whip the condom off and show off the cumshot? I'm capable of seeing cum in the reservoir of a condom - I don't want to be fucked for show and I don't want to be the canvas for a pathetic 'paint by numbers' fucking. I don't see how any woman would want that.

It really makes me wonder if they get laid at all.

 

[Intrigue]

Well the women here have pretty much said it all. Poor self esteem. You should have been honest, said "hey its been a while and you really turned me on, I'm still game and would like to show you how much I appreciated that." proceed to kiss, fondle, whatever the situation calls for. Be honest, its sexy. Period. And if ya cum early than that's a compliment to her, and maybe ya can work on them kegels to help ya out. But unless you want to go the douchbag route I would avoid previous male advice. It helps to have an ego so you can't be hurt, but there is a point where it is too much. Its a fine line. Walk it. And serious kudos for sticking to your guns on the condom. I hate them... Seriously nit my fav feeling but they are def necessary in this type of encounter.

 

[vince]

Honesty is the easiest thing in sex. If she turned you on so bad that you shot your load than tell her just that. She'd make you feel real good about it and you'd have gotten a great second at bat and probably breakfast. You sound like a nice guy and the BS ego games are for losers. There's no need to down that route.

 

[Intrigue]

^Word.
*Pounds it*

(lol couldn't help it... Sorry. =P)

 

[vince]

^Word.
*Pounds it*

(lol couldn't help it... Sorry. =P)

Fuckin-A. :biggrin: all night long.


btw- I voted for taking a break (or two), but without the TV. I like a cup of tea at 03:00 in the morning.

 

[HungPirate]

Thanks for all the replies, at least the ones that are constructive.

Reading this gives me lots to think about.

 

[VernalTiger]

Don't lose heart, Pirate. You may have lost this girl, but you've hopefully gained a few pointers if the same issue should arise in the future.