What do you all think...

[B_sugarandspice]

I met a guy on the net and we went to movie.
We had a few things in common and we were supposed to get together last Friday night and work on one of my businesses and have dinner.

Friday came and I was having a lot of inflammation in my neck from therapy and had to keep it iced and thought I needed to go to the hospital and get a Toradol injection.
The ER visit wouldn't really take that long since they know me.
I needed a driver and it should have only taken 45 to 90 minutes.


So I asked the guy to take me to the ER and hang with me .
He didn't want to.


In the past and present men treat me very well and would take me to the ER and hang with me .

I guess I didn't realize what a hassle it would seem like to him but we could still see each other and talk while I was waiting and whatnot. I thought it was reasonable.

I am trying to see if I am a little spoiled by very kind friends who are not the norm or if this guy is a "fair weather " friend.

Almost everyone who knows me has been to the hospital with me.
I am very blessed to have wonderful friends.

I am trying to decide how I feel about the Fair Weather Guy.
I thought maybe he considers me a potential convenient piece of ass since he acted like he really liked me but couldn't hang out with me in the ER.

I want feedback because I want to know if maybe my expectations are too high or if I am right and should not lower my standards.
I set my standards by what I am used to.

My medical needs have intruded on my dating before but they always just went along with it. Am I a little spoiled or is this just how anyone treats someone they really want to build a friendship with?

What do you think?

 

[D_Jurgen Klitgaard]

Me personally I would have done it just because it's the nice thing to do. You needed help, he didn't want to give it, sounds like an ass to me.

 

[ranredd]

I met a guy on the net and we went to movie.
We had a few things in common and we were supposed to get together last Friday night and work on one of my businesses and have dinner.

Friday came and I was having a lot of inflammation in my neck from therapy and had to keep it iced and thought I needed to go to the hospital and get a Toradol injection.
The ER visit wouldn't really take that long since they know me.
I needed a driver and it should have only taken 45 to 90 minutes.


So I asked the guy to take me to the ER and hang with me .
He didn't want to.


In the past and present men treat me very well and would take me to the ER and hang with me .

I guess I didn't realize what a hassle it would seem like to him but we could still see each other and talk while I was waiting and whatnot. I thought it was reasonable.

I am trying to see if I am a little spoiled by very kind friends who are not the norm or if this guy is a "fair weather " friend. To me it doesn't seem like it's a matter of right or wrong or spoiled. I would feel that you're spoiled if you're upset that he didn't want to go to the ER. I mean, it truly is his decision if he wants to go. To judge him on his decision seems kinda set-upish.

Almost everyone who knows me has been to the hospital with me.
I am very blessed to have wonderful friends.

I am trying to decide how I feel about the Fair Weather Guy.
I thought maybe he considers me a potential convenient piece of ass since he acted like he really liked me but couldn't hang out with me in the ER.

I want feedback because I want to know if maybe my expectations are too high or if I am right and should not lower my standards.
I set my standards by what I am used to.

My medical needs have intruded on my dating before but they always just went along with it. Am I a little spoiled or is this just how anyone treats someone they really want to build a friendship with?

What do you think?

Considering I have been one of those guys/friends that would pretty much do ANYTHING on a date, I'm speaking from experience. When you're on a date and a person asks you to take them different places for things that have nothing to do with you, it is innocent. Only problem is that if the person is basing hanging out with you or only wanting to continue seeing you if you are doing stuff for them, then that's a little spoiled. If he doesn't do something, you shouldn't react to him and judge him and feel like you don't want to see him, because after all that doesn't mean he doesn't like you or anything like that. And just on the other side of things, you should ask yourself if you'd do the same. If so, then again, it's their decision but doesn't make or break the person.

 

[ranredd]

Me personally I would have done it just because it's the nice thing to do. You needed help, he didn't want to give it, sounds like an ass to me.

Yeah it's one thing to be nice, but then again it's a double edged sword. If things were to come back around, and she said no to him after he did something for her, it would have been HIS decision to do something nice. If she doesn't want to, then she would just say I don't want to and that he was being nice.

I guess that's where people get the expression that nice people finish last.

 

[D_Jurgen Klitgaard]

Yeah it's one thing to be nice, but then again it's a double edged sword. If things were to come back around, and she said no to him after he did something for her, it would have been HIS decision to do something nice. If she doesn't want to, then she would just say I don't want to and that he was being nice.

I guess that's where people get the expression that nice people finish last.

Yeah, but she needed medical attention. That's a different story, imo.

 

[midlifebear]

If she needed medical attention, doesn't she have someone close to her who would make a much better companion to take her to hospital: "Oh, wait love. Before we jaunt off to the Four Seasons would you mind terribly, darling, stopping by Bellevue so I can have my blood's lithium salts adjusted. You're SUCH a doll. Kisses, and all that!"

 

[D_Jurgen Klitgaard]

If she needed medical attention, doesn't she have someone close to her who would make a much better companion to take her to hospital: "Oh, wait love. Before we jaunt off to the Four Seasons would you mind terribly, darling, stopping by Bellevue so I can have my blood's lithium salts adjusted. You're SUCH a doll. Kisses, and all that!"

I think it would be pretty shitty of someone if I asked if they could take me to the hospital, and they said they didn't want to and asked if someone else could do it.

 

[ranredd]

You actually make a good point. Considering it is the hospital. I guess I'm just coming from prior experience with EVERYTHING ELSE. LOL It's like being in a bad movie. You want a normal date and at the end of the night your taking a cab home because they wanted to stop by a couple places and random events happen with your car being totalled........ and then they say, "You could have said no"

 

[D_Jurgen Klitgaard]

Now coming form a standpoint where this was supposed to be a date, and he's a man, she's a woman, getting ass is a possibility. You would think he would do all he can for brownie points. If he's that kinda guy.

 

[B_sugarandspice]

If she needed medical attention, doesn't she have someone close to her who would make a much better companion to take her to hospital: "Oh, wait love. Before we jaunt off to the Four Seasons would you mind terribly, darling, stopping by Bellevue so I can have my blood's lithium salts adjusted. You're SUCH a doll. Kisses, and all that!"

haha very funny....
I am actually a fan of yours but I am being serious.
Once I got the injection the swelling would have gone down and we could go on with our evening.
I have had to do things like this before and it wasn't a problem.

 

[ranredd]

haha very funny....
I am actually a fan of yours but I am being serious.
Once I got the injection the swelling would have gone down and we could go on with our evening.
I have had to do things like this before and it wasn't a problem.

It's never a problem with the possibility of sex in the near future. lol

It must be great being a woman........... lol It's like being a fraternity and the men are all lowly pledges

 

[lonestar692000]

Deleted. Incorrect info.

haha very funny....
I am actually a fan of yours but I am being serious.
Once I got the injection the swelling would have gone down and we could go on with our evening.
I have had to do things like this before and it wasn't a problem.

 

[Gillette]

Personally I think a hospital visit, however brief, is a bit much for only your second meet.

Did he know all the details that you're sharing with us now? Was he rude in the way he declined?

How do you know he's not phobic about hospitals or illness? I know plenty of men who say the only way they're going into a hospital is unconcious.

 

[Gillette]

I probably would have hung...but I am curious how Toradol would reduce swelling of any kind considering it's a non-narcotic analgesic and not an anti-inflammatory medication. But then again, I don't purport to be all-knowing in the field of pharmacology.

Ketorolac tromethamine is a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) that exhibits analgesic activity in animal models.

Source

 

[lonestar692000]

My bad. You win.

Ketorolac tromethamine is a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) that exhibits analgesic activity in animal models.

Source

 

[What to do?]

I have to agree with Gillette on this one. As I was reading, my first thought was that an ER visit for a second date is possibly too much for someone. No offense, but dating (especially in the beginning) is all about fun. I think that I would have just postponed the date an hour or so and had a friend take me. I am sure that you have become accustomed to the hospital setting, but some people are really weird when it comes to hospitals and don't like going when they have to, much less for a quick injection to start off the romantic evening.

 

[Principessa]

I met a guy on the net and we went to movie. We had a few things in common and we were supposed to get together last Friday night and work on one of my businesses and have dinner.

Am I correct in thinking that Friday night was to be a combination 2nd date and business meeting?

Friday came and I was having a lot of inflammation in my neck from therapy and had to keep it iced and thought I needed to go to the hospital and get a Toradol injection.

You couldn't do that during the day before the date? Or did it not start to bother you until it was time to go out.

The ER visit wouldn't really take that long since they know me. I needed a driver and it should have only taken 45 to 90 minutes.

So I asked the guy to take me to the ER and hang with me. He didn't want to.

I don't blame him! I have rarely been to an ER where I was there under 3 hours sometimes as many as 10 hours. The man was there for a business dinner and maybe some romantic stuff, NOT to play Florence Nightingale/chauffer.

If a guy told me on the 2nd date I had to take him to the ER first, so that he could get an injection of a pain reliever; but not to worry it wouldn't take long because they know me there. All he would have seen was my dust backing out the driveway.

In the past and present men treat me very well and would take me to the ER and hang with me.

Of course they did, they want to see you nekkid; and what better way to do that than to get you loopy first on pain killers. :duh:

I guess I didn't realize what a hassle it would seem like to him but we could still see each other and talk while I was waiting and what not. I thought it was reasonable.

No, it was not reasonable, it sounds like you were testing him.

I used to get bronchitis 6 times a year. I have been in ER's all over the country most are dirty, full of people I would never associate with on a bet, and they are always understaffed. That said the quickest, best care; and cleanest ER I have been to was in Palm Springs, CA.

I am trying to see if I am a little spoiled by very kind friends who are not the norm or if this guy is a "fair weather" friend.

Yes, you are spoiled! He may have been giving you serious contemplation on a business level. But now he has to wonder if you are regularly too sick to do business with him.

If he was looking for sex then he doesn't want someone who might not be available for booty calls; because she doesn't feel well.

I don't think he's a fair weather friend. I think your expectations are way out of line for someone you just met.

Almost everyone who knows me has been to the hospital with me. I am very blessed to have wonderful friends.

Yes, you are blessed. But there is a huge difference between a friend, a lover, and a business associate. Sheesh, if on the 2nd date he has to sit with you at the ER, what do you do for fun on the 3rd date ask him to help you move into a 3rd floor walk-up?

You need to get a grip on reality!

I am trying to decide how I feel about the Fair Weather Guy. I thought maybe he considers me a potential convenient piece of ass since he acted like he really liked me but couldn't hang out with me in the ER.

Jesus Christmas! 1) NEVER mix business with pleasure. 2) Whether you realize it or not you use your injury/illness as a litmus test for who can be your friend. I wouldn't be so quick to tell a potential love interest about all your medical issues. It's not being dishonest, it's just that in your case there is a lot to deal with. :redface::redface:

I want feedback because I want to know if maybe my expectations are too high or if I am right and should not lower my standards. I set my standards by what I am used to.

Yes, your expectations are too high!

My medical needs have intruded on my dating before but they always just went along with it. Am I a little spoiled or is this just how anyone treats someone they really want to build a friendship with?

What do you think?

Men are like snowflakes everyone is different. Your mistake was in trying to combine too many needs into one man. You were looking for a nursemaid, chauffer, lover, and business partner all rolled into one handsome big dicked package. :wtf2: Sorry, not gonna happen.

If she needed medical attention, doesn't she have someone close to her who would make a much better companion to take her to hospital:

OMG! I thought the exact same thing! I also thought this was a bit like a covert test of the guy to see if he's good enough to be with her.

"Oh, wait love. Before we jaunt off to the Four Seasons would you mind terribly, darling, stopping by Bellevue so I can have my blood's lithium salts adjusted. You're SUCH a doll. Kisses, and all that!"

:lmao: You are hysterical! I love you midlifebear. :smile:

 

[B_sugarandspice]

Personally I think a hospital visit, however brief, is a bit much for only your second meet.

Did he know all the details that you're sharing with us now? Was he rude in the way he declined?

How do you know he's not phobic about hospitals or illness? I know plenty of men who say the only way they're going into a hospital is unconcious.

Yes, he did claim phobia about hospitals but it was more that he felt I should go take care of it myself.
I needed a driver to take me home.
Other men have been more than willing so maybe I'm a little spoiled.
I also hate to be by myself in the hospital.
I really wanted him to keep me company and he refused.
I think maybe he is not like my other friends and dates.
He didn't care that I would be alone in the hospital-again.
I don't want to be a person with unreasonable expectations and I don't want fair weather friends either.
I am more suspect of him because he smokes pot.
Some people who imbibe in that sort of thing only want to be around when everything is perfect..
HE was the one I had plans with so I felt like we could have just incorporated it into our plans. I thought if he really wanted to see me he shouldn't mind and I thought it was crappy that a man interested in me wouldn't take me to the hospital when I had already tried all my friends . My buds have the flu or their kids had the flu . They all called me that evening to see if I was okay and let me know they had missed my messages due to illnesses of their own.

oh crap. I think I am rambling again.(or did I catch myself in time?)

I have just been very fortunate that so many others have been willing to hang out with me wherever and however I am.

 

[B_sugarandspice]

I wasn't testing him but I did feel that it showed me that he couldn't do something as simple as take to to the ER. They fast track me in and out.

I want to become more comfortable with you guys opinions so I can accept them more but I'm not there yet.
I meant to say it was not a narcotic injection. lol
Please pardon my font "size" experimentations.


We talked about his issues with hospitals and whatnot but it was more that he didn't want to be bothered with it.

As far as mixing business and pleasure ..he was giving me free consulting because he likes me and likes talking about business.
It turned out that I had already done everything he was suggesting anyhow and he didn't understand what I needed.
I actually need is business manger.

 

[Gillette]

1. Yes, he did claim phobia about hospitals but it was more that he felt I should go take care of it myself. Keep in mind he might have been downplaying the degree of his phobia. Most people don't enjoy displaying their weaknesses, particularly that early in a potential relationship. Besides, on a second date? Yes, you should take care of it yourself.
2. I needed a driver to take me home.
A) Taxi
B) You could have asked him to pick you up from the hospital AFTER your shot.
3. Other men have been more than willing so maybe I'm a little spoiled. Quite possibly. Change is good.
4. I also hate to be by myself in the hospital. I really wanted him to keep me company and he refused. I think maybe he is not like my other friends and dates. He didn't care that I would be alone in the hospital-again. Not his problem that you don't like to be alone. This wasn't an emergency, nor a case where you'd need emotional support, it's just waiting. Book, iPod, Gameboy, knitting, etc.
5. I don't want to be a person with unreasonable expectations and I don't want fair weather friends either. A second date is far too soon to expect this kind of favor in my opinion, also far too early to judge if he's only a fairweather friend.
6. I am more suspect of him because he smokes pot. I read the effects of Toradol, that's a very potent drug. If he's at all familiar with it he might have concerns about your use of it the same way you're concerned with his pot usage.
7. HE was the one I had plans with so I felt like we could have just incorporated it into our plans. I thought if he really wanted to see me he shouldn't mind and I thought it was crappy that a man interested in me wouldn't take me to the hospital when I had already tried all my friends . The both of you made plans. You changed them. He opted not to agree to the new plan. He's allowed to do that. And given his phobia nothing short of a severed limb (preferably his own) will get him to go to the H with you or anyone else.

8. oh crap. I think I am rambling again.(or did I catch myself in time?)Yes, a little, but you're improving.

9. I have just been very fortunate that so many others have been willing to hang out with me wherever and however I am.

Yes, you have been fortunate. That's a good thing. You can't, nor should you, expect the same of everyone.