What do you all think...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_sugarandspice, Feb 26, 2008.

  1. B_sugarandspice

    B_sugarandspice New Member

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    I met a guy on the net and we went to movie.
    We had a few things in common and we were supposed to get together last Friday night and work on one of my businesses and have dinner.

    Friday came and I was having a lot of inflammation in my neck from therapy and had to keep it iced and thought I needed to go to the hospital and get a Toradol injection.
    The ER visit wouldn't really take that long since they know me.
    I needed a driver and it should have only taken 45 to 90 minutes.


    So I asked the guy to take me to the ER and hang with me .
    He didn't want to.


    In the past and present men treat me very well and would take me to the ER and hang with me .

    I guess I didn't realize what a hassle it would seem like to him but we could still see each other and talk while I was waiting and whatnot. I thought it was reasonable.

    I am trying to see if I am a little spoiled by very kind friends who are not the norm or if this guy is a "fair weather " friend.

    Almost everyone who knows me has been to the hospital with me.
    I am very blessed to have wonderful friends.

    I am trying to decide how I feel about the Fair Weather Guy.
    I thought maybe he considers me a potential convenient piece of ass since he acted like he really liked me but couldn't hang out with me in the ER.

    I want feedback because I want to know if maybe my expectations are too high or if I am right and should not lower my standards.
    I set my standards by what I am used to.

    My medical needs have intruded on my dating before but they always just went along with it. Am I a little spoiled or is this just how anyone treats someone they really want to build a friendship with?

    What do you think?
     
  2. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    Me personally I would have done it just because it's the nice thing to do. You needed help, he didn't want to give it, sounds like an ass to me.
     
  3. ranredd

    ranredd New Member

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    Considering I have been one of those guys/friends that would pretty much do ANYTHING on a date, I'm speaking from experience. When you're on a date and a person asks you to take them different places for things that have nothing to do with you, it is innocent. Only problem is that if the person is basing hanging out with you or only wanting to continue seeing you if you are doing stuff for them, then that's a little spoiled. If he doesn't do something, you shouldn't react to him and judge him and feel like you don't want to see him, because after all that doesn't mean he doesn't like you or anything like that. And just on the other side of things, you should ask yourself if you'd do the same. If so, then again, it's their decision but doesn't make or break the person.
     
  4. ranredd

    ranredd New Member

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    Yeah it's one thing to be nice, but then again it's a double edged sword. If things were to come back around, and she said no to him after he did something for her, it would have been HIS decision to do something nice. If she doesn't want to, then she would just say I don't want to and that he was being nice.

    I guess that's where people get the expression that nice people finish last.
     
  5. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    Yeah, but she needed medical attention. That's a different story, imo.
     
  6. midlifebear

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    If she needed medical attention, doesn't she have someone close to her who would make a much better companion to take her to hospital: "Oh, wait love. Before we jaunt off to the Four Seasons would you mind terribly, darling, stopping by Bellevue so I can have my blood's lithium salts adjusted. You're SUCH a doll. Kisses, and all that!"
     
  7. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    I think it would be pretty shitty of someone if I asked if they could take me to the hospital, and they said they didn't want to and asked if someone else could do it.
     
  8. ranredd

    ranredd New Member

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    You actually make a good point. Considering it is the hospital. I guess I'm just coming from prior experience with EVERYTHING ELSE. LOL It's like being in a bad movie. You want a normal date and at the end of the night your taking a cab home because they wanted to stop by a couple places and random events happen with your car being totalled........ and then they say, "You could have said no"
     
  9. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    Now coming form a standpoint where this was supposed to be a date, and he's a man, she's a woman, getting ass is a possibility. You would think he would do all he can for brownie points. If he's that kinda guy.
     
  10. B_sugarandspice

    B_sugarandspice New Member

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    haha very funny....
    I am actually a fan of yours but I am being serious.
    Once I got the injection the swelling would have gone down and we could go on with our evening.
    I have had to do things like this before and it wasn't a problem.
     
  11. ranredd

    ranredd New Member

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    It's never a problem with the possibility of sex in the near future. lol :)

    It must be great being a woman........... lol It's like being a fraternity and the men are all lowly pledges
     
  12. lonestar692000

    lonestar692000 New Member

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    Deleted. Incorrect info.


     
  13. Gillette

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    Personally I think a hospital visit, however brief, is a bit much for only your second meet.

    Did he know all the details that you're sharing with us now? Was he rude in the way he declined?

    How do you know he's not phobic about hospitals or illness? I know plenty of men who say the only way they're going into a hospital is unconcious.
     
  14. Gillette

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    Ketorolac tromethamine is a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) that exhibits analgesic activity in animal models.

    Source
     
  15. lonestar692000

    lonestar692000 New Member

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  16. What to do?

    What to do? New Member

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    I have to agree with Gillette on this one. As I was reading, my first thought was that an ER visit for a second date is possibly too much for someone. No offense, but dating (especially in the beginning) is all about fun. I think that I would have just postponed the date an hour or so and had a friend take me. I am sure that you have become accustomed to the hospital setting, but some people are really weird when it comes to hospitals and don't like going when they have to, much less for a quick injection to start off the romantic evening.
     
  17. Principessa

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  18. B_sugarandspice

    B_sugarandspice New Member

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    Yes, he did claim phobia about hospitals but it was more that he felt I should go take care of it myself.
    I needed a driver to take me home.
    Other men have been more than willing so maybe I'm a little spoiled.
    I also hate to be by myself in the hospital.
    I really wanted him to keep me company and he refused.
    I think maybe he is not like my other friends and dates.
    He didn't care that I would be alone in the hospital-again.
    I don't want to be a person with unreasonable expectations and I don't want fair weather friends either.
    I am more suspect of him because he smokes pot.
    Some people who imbibe in that sort of thing only want to be around when everything is perfect..
    HE was the one I had plans with so I felt like we could have just incorporated it into our plans. I thought if he really wanted to see me he shouldn't mind and I thought it was crappy that a man interested in me wouldn't take me to the hospital when I had already tried all my friends . My buds have the flu or their kids had the flu . They all called me that evening to see if I was okay and let me know they had missed my messages due to illnesses of their own.

    oh crap. I think I am rambling again.(or did I catch myself in time?)

    I have just been very fortunate that so many others have been willing to hang out with me wherever and however I am.
     
  19. B_sugarandspice

    B_sugarandspice New Member

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    I wasn't testing him but I did feel that it showed me that he couldn't do something as simple as take to to the ER. They fast track me in and out.

    I want to become more comfortable with you guys opinions so I can accept them more but I'm not there yet.
    I meant to say it was not a narcotic injection. lol
    Please pardon my font "size" experimentations.


    We talked about his issues with hospitals and whatnot but it was more that he didn't want to be bothered with it.

    As far as mixing business and pleasure ..he was giving me free consulting because he likes me and likes talking about business.
    It turned out that I had already done everything he was suggesting anyhow and he didn't understand what I needed.
    I actually need is business manger.
     
  20. Gillette

    Gold Member

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    Yes, you have been fortunate. That's a good thing. You can't, nor should you, expect the same of everyone.
     
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