What do you consider cheating?

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

I class cheating as....

Having anything sexual including cybering,texting,kissing,holding hands,hugging with anyone other than your gf/bf/wife/husband/SO.

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

Maybe it's just me, but the way i see it, just thinking about doing something with someone other than your partner is cheating. Thats just me.

Yes,i agree.

 

[B_thickjohnny]

I class cheating as....

Having anything sexual including cybering,texting,kissing,holding hands,hugging with anyone other than your gf/bf/wife/husband/SO.

You think looking at porn on the internet is cheating? I guess in some way it is but so many people out there might disagree. They turn to the internet to avoid the physical.

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

You think looking at porn on the internet is cheating? I guess in some way it is but so many people out there might disagree. They turn to the internet to avoid the physical.

No i don't.Depending on the reasons they are looking at porn.Maybe the person is looking for ideas to spice up their sex like with their partner.

Though camming is cheating imo.

 

[petite]

To quote someone else, "If you feel like you have to hide it, then it's cheating."

 

[invisibleman]

What do you consider cheating?


If you are in a relationship where you both agree to be monogamous. And one partner or both partners develop sexual or other deep relationships outside the primary relationship that causes the questioning or demise of the primary relationship. The developing of these secondary relationships is cheating because the other partner doesn't know about the "other" relationships. (In other words, the other partner is thinking that you like being around them and not thinking that you are out there fucking someone else or falling in love with another person. They don't know anything. And when you all of a sudden, come home to the primary relationship...you treat the primary partner different. And the partner does notice and realize something is wrong. You don't bother telling them. THAT IS CHEATING. Your partner doesn't get extended that same courtesy to have a second relationship. THAT IS WHEN YOU KNOW YOU CHEATED. You fucked on them. Your partner is still thinking that the relationship is solid and secure. They don't know you are fucking someone else.

It isn't cheating if: the primary relationship is mutually agreed to be open or non-monogamous.

 

[hung9mike]

Anything you couldn't tell your partner about.

 

[B_subgirrl]

The developing of these secondary relationships is cheating because the other partner doesn't know about the "other" relationships. (In other words, the other partner is thinking that you like being around them and not thinking that you are out there fucking someone else or falling in love with another person.

This is what I meant by emotional cheating. Close friendships with others is fine as far as I'm concerned, but if you develop another relationship and go falling in love with them, it becomes cheating, even if you never have sexual contact with them.

Sometimes you can't help falling in love with someone else. If that happens, I think you need to distance yourself from the new relationship until the first relationship is over.

 

[B_thickjohnny]

To quote someone else, "If you feel like you have to hide it, then it's cheating."

I'll go with that one! A quote worth keeping.

I have to add that when i learned my partner was seeing another guy behind my back I immediately knew something was up. The way he reacted to me could not hide his feelings for the other guy. He denied it emphatically and even swore up and down how much better I was when compared to the other guy. He told me how vain the guy was and body conscience etc but still he had to see him 2 -3 times a week. He lied about where he was going and I caught him in the lie each and every time. When I told him it was over over and that I didn't want any more contact he said he'd end any further contact with the guy. Of course, the personal meetings lasted about two weeks. Texting and emails continued unabated.

Ex is truly an ex now. He's been told categorically that he's a friend and nothing more. He tries desperately to get back but he's finally realized (I think) that we're friends only and it's because of his on going relationship with "Steve".

 

[Ramsey]

This is what I meant by emotional cheating. Close friendships with others is fine as far as I'm concerned, but if you develop another relationship and go falling in love with them, it becomes cheating, even if you never have sexual contact with them.

Sometimes you can't help falling in love with someone else. If that happens, I think you need to distance yourself from the new relationship until the first relationship is over.

Agreed on all counts, and of course anything sexual is cheating.

 

[badgirl22]

To quote someone else, "If you feel like you have to hide it, then it's cheating."

I agree - this is perfect! What ever it may be you feel like you have to hide makes it cheating in my book!

I'm of the mindset if my partner wants to have sex with someone else I care more about him lying about it than I do him actually doing it (that may be whacked by it's how my mind works).

 

[vlls]

for me cheating would be if my girlfriend did stuff with another guy/girl behind my back without my approval... and with a malevolent intent

having said that, im not the jealous type and even my girlfriend did cheat on me there's a lot of things i would forgive... even if she was lost in the moment and ended up doing stuff with another guy... if there wasnt any serious problems with our relationship, i would forgive... although usually when that happens there are problems in the relationship...

ive allowed my gf to fool around with another guy once and it actually brought us closer... but it was done under very controlled conditions and it was allowed... now we're getting to the point where we allow each other to fool around with other people given the right context... although we're not having any sex outside of the relationship.... oral and manual instead

i think people sometimes get way too jealous with stuff like this and it actually ends up having an adverse effect on the relationship.... free communication is the best thing that can happen in a relationship and it makes u stronger... me and my gf talk about people we like all the time (as well as what we want to do with them and it actually brings us closer

 

[upone]

Cheating isn't just physical. It can be emotional too.

Although I'm not that fussy myself, I think sticking to Gecko's family rule would keep you safe from cheating accusations in any relationship.

I think you've spotted a female/male difference, subgirrl.

A lot of men get upset if their partner fucks someone else. Women, not so much.

A lot of women get upset if their partner spends a lot of time chatting with someone else. Men, not so much.

 

[LPSGeezer]

cheating to me is having any activity that is flirty attraction or sexual in nature and keeping it a secret from a b/f g/f or spouse and not cluing the other person you are cheating with that you are already taken. In other words, lying!