I am not sure if this is the right place to post this, but in PMing petite, she felt this was the best place, so, here goes: My best friend (beyond friend; he is seriously like a brother to me) and his wife found out Monday that she has misscarried what would have been their first child together. They weren't too far along. This was the first ultrasound. She had started cramping a bit the night before (Thursday) and spotting. She has 2 kids from her previous relationship, and had miscarried twice before her first full term child, but those were futher along, and she said it was the most painful feeling ever, like being torn apart physically. This wasn't like that, so she was hopeful. S__ (my best mate, I have been friends with him forever) this was going to be his first child (their first together, she has two from a previous marriage). So they went to the Dr. and the tech, who is usually jovial, got really quiet, and told them she couldn't find the baby. At all. She said there were three possibilities, but that one of them was miscarriage. So this was Fri. eve, and she (the tech) said for them to go across the way to have the higher tech ultrasound done. So they had to wait through the weekend, not knowing. Monday they went in and it was confirmed; no baby. Apparently it was what is termed a "blighted ovum". Think still birth around the time of implantation. Her body was finally realizing something was wrong, so began shedding. The have given her meds to help abort the placenta. J__ (S__'s wife) is devastated. She was looking forward to this with S__. S__ feels like he was been hit by a truck. They had told a bunch of people that they were expecting (posted it on facebook), which of course, wasn't probably the best idea, in the first trimester. So Monday they had the unenviable task of letting everyone know what had happened. S__ lost it in his bosss office, and took the rest of the day off. J__ has till Tuesday off (they work at a bank). What sucks more, according to him, is that all the coworkers were asking excitedly, "So papa; how's the baby! You must be so happy! Seeing it for the first time!, and then having to tell them. J__ was already home, so thankfully she didn't have to hear that. I know better than to suggest "well, you can try again soon" or any variation on that. Spoke with them Monday and tuesday night, and they said it was just nice knowing that I was here if/when they need me. I debated on whether or not to post it, but figured, what the hell. I would like to hear from anyone who has either gone through this (women and men both), either directly or indirectly (family, close friend). I am not sure if i am looking for advice on what to say, what not to say, or just needed to put it out there (and not in a blog that no one will read. Ok maybe no one will read this either, but it has a greater chance) Thanks in advance. Nico And know i don't know how they are handling the other kids. Brave face? Complete collapse in front of them? How do you manage your own grief as well as a child's raw emotions?