What Do You Think Of Mail Order Brides?

[wallyj84]

I'm lonely and not good enough to get a woman in the USA, as I have nothing to offer, but I think I would have some kind of appeal to a foreign woman. So I'm thinking of looking abroad for companionship.

Do any of you have experience with mail order brides or long distance international relationships in general? Do you think these kinds of relationships are a good idea? Have you ever met anyone who has entered into this kind of relationship? If so, how did it turn out?

 

[vas]

Relationships are tough and require each party to have something to offer to survive.

That said, yes, I have a friend who went the "mail order bride" route. After >25 yrs they are still happily married. At least in their case it worked out. I get the idea that this is the exception though...

 

[marriedasian]

i think it's gonna be hit or miss. i would imagine these women want to come to the USA for a better life and if that means selling themselves then so be it (or at least that's how i see it). i can empathize with these women if it were the case as it must be the better option despite.

relationships are hard and marriage is even worse if not done right. i would implore you to re-evaluate and challenge why you would think that you're not good enough for women here in the USA. if you truly feel that, then y do you think you're good enough for women outside of the USA? point is, maybe fix what's broken here as there are plenty of women to go around last time i looked.

 

[palakaorion]

The whole thing implies that offshore women are somehow inferior to domestic women. And ordering a companion from a catalog? Isn't that technically human trafficking?

Also...are you 100 percent that your unhappiness is solely due to loneliness? Because if it's really something else, you could just add another miserable person to the situation.

With all that having been said...arranged marriages seem to work out about as well as traditional western marriages, so why not, if that's what you're willing to try?

 

[deleted1846971]

Man it sounds like you have some things to work out yourself before adding a bride.

 

[wallyj84]

The whole thing implies that offshore women are somehow inferior to domestic women. And ordering a companion from a catalog? Isn't that technically human trafficking?

Also...are you 100 percent that your unhappiness is solely due to loneliness? Because if it's really something else, you could just add another miserable person to the situation.

With all that having been said...arranged marriages seem to work out about as well as traditional western marriages, so why not, if that's what you're willing to try?

You make good points.

The human trafficking thing is a legitimate concern. I would never want to participate in anything like that. So what I'm thinking of doing would not involve using those kinds of agencies. What I want to do is use a regionally specific dating site to meet foreign women and hopefully find someone interested in moving to the US.

In terms of the foreign women being inferior to American women, I would disagree or say that I wouldn't think that. It is just a matter of my own relative value. I am a low value man in America, however due to a mix of factors to women abroad I have significantly more value and am able to attract women that I wouldn't be able to get in the states. From my experience living abroad, some women have fetishes for American men and see you as your nationality first and will forgive a lot of your flaws as long as they can say that they have an American boyfriend. With my many flaws and failings I think this is the only option I have to get companionship.

 

[shard38]

How about first getting some help for your perceived low value. It is something that has to do with you being American or with American women. First fix yourself. Get help to fulfill your life. Get help in loving yourself. You don’t want a wife that “loves” you for being American. You want a wife who loves you because of you.

 

[wallyj84]

How about first getting some help for your perceived low value. It is something that has to do with you being American or with American women. First fix yourself. Get help to fulfill your life. Get help in loving yourself. You don’t want a wife that “loves” you for being American. You want a wife who loves you because of you.

I'm sorry, but no one loves you for you. People love you for what they can get out of you.

I have nothing to offer due to being an obese Small.

 

[jtm011]

What Do You Think Of Mail Order Brides?

I think the postage must cost an awful lot

 

[marriedasian]

I'm sorry, but no one loves you for you. People love you for what they can get out of you.

this is partially true and the scary reality of today. the cliche of "you should just love me for who i am" is all bullshit and has always been. the only difference now is that it's more pronounced because before the advent of the internet, it was hard to reach other people and have "options"... well, the internet has grown a lot since and now we all have options (both men and women alike).

this is not meant to be a negative, it just means that now, more than ever, we all need to face reality and start bettering ourselves so that we can be an "option" (if that's what we want)... and we're all guilty of swiping right or left, right?! hehe...

in short, the competition has gotten even stiffer so you can't just depend on others settling for you when they have options now... and so do you; so freakin get to it and start bettering yourself both mentally and physically. nobody is gonna care for you more than yourself.

 

[shard38]

I'm sorry, but no one loves you for you. People love you for what they can get out of you.

I have nothing to offer due to being an obese Small.

If you have nothing to offer then don’t put yourself out there until you do have something to offer.

And in my experience people do love you for who you are. Who you are determines what you offer. Right now you are just oozing self-pity and body dismorphia. Not really attractive to anyone. You can change that and become a more atttractive personality.

 

[deleted1846971]

I'm sorry, but no one loves you for you. People love you for what they can get out of you.

I have nothing to offer due to being an obese Small.

This attitude is why you’re looking for a mail order bride.

 

[wallyj84]

If you have nothing to offer then don’t put yourself out there until you do have something to offer.

And in my experience people do love you for who you are. Who you are determines what you offer. Right now you are just oozing self-pity and body dismorphia. Not really attractive to anyone. You can change that and become a more atttractive personality.

So you agree with me. If who you are determines what you offer, then you are what you offer. A rich man is his money. A hung stud is his large penis.

People are a means to an end. Nothing more, nothing less. Once that end is achieved, we will all be discarded.

We're on the same page, we jyst have different readings of the material.

 

[wallyj84]

This attitude is why you’re looking for a mail order bride.

I didn't know a realistic worldview led to mail order brides.

 

[wallyj84]

If you have nothing to offer then don’t put yourself out there until you do have something to offer.

And in my experience people do love you for who you are. Who you are determines what you offer. Right now you are just oozing self-pity and body dismorphia. Not really attractive to anyone. You can change that and become a more atttractive personality.

In regards to what I have to offer, I offer the chance at a better life in America. A chance to fulfill a life long dream. Isn't that enough?

 

[deleted1846971]

I didn't know a realistic worldview led to mail order brides.

Enjoy your USPS love story.

 

[wallyj84]

Enjoy your USPS love story.

Why so dismissive? This is the best a Small like me can hope for.

 

[socalfreak]

I'm sorry, but no one loves you for you. People love you for what they can get out of you.

Bullshit.
I love my girl for many reasons.... Not "what I can get out of her.".
We are equals. We share/split benefits and responsibilities.
@Snarky_succubus is smart, funny, driven, creative, compassionate, strong....I could go on.
These are all qualities I possess and love being around.
We make the same money & pay our own bills.
We don't lavish each other with material things.
We just love each other & love being with the other person.

 

[socalfreak]

In regards to what I have to offer, I offer the chance at a better life in America. A chance to fulfill a life long dream. Isn't that enough?

How is a life of listening to your whining, complaining, and self-hatred considered "a better life"?
I'd rather stay starving in some remote village in the Philippines than have to live with that.
Until you get yourself together, leave those women alone. Stay single. They deserve better

 

[spaj8987]

I'm sorry, but no one loves you for you. People love you for what they can get out of you.

I have nothing to offer due to being an obese Small.

While that's entirely true. That people do only love you for what they can get out of you. Sometimes it's not what you think. Sometimes it's just a laugh or a smile.