What does BAD sex feel like?
- Thread starter Symphonic
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"Bad Sex," can fall into a number of different categories: just not into it; the "dead fish" (just laying there with no reaction); "watch out with those teeth." Is a common one; trying too hard at it can end badly. I'm Sure that there are more examples, more humiliating examples too, so lets see them.
invisibleman
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Bad sex =
- college sex. Lots of stamina and energy and ZERO technique. Rough as hell, painful and lacking finesse (i.e. tongues roughly thrust in ears and the like) <shudders>
- same old same old sex. Same moves every night. Boring as hell. He cums and rolls over. She thinks 'thank GOD!'
- porno movie sex. Your man watches a porn movie and then wants to bring those moves into bed - EXACTLY those moves.
I see. So rough sex is a misconception probably most of the time; I am not surprised. Question though, can someone having too much stamina, even with good technique, still be bad?
yngjock20
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There is rough and there is rough. I don't think sex should involve bruising or tearing anywhere - college sex often does. Stamina - a great thing if the sex is blinding because you want it to go on and on! If the sex is bad and there is lots of stamina - that is just a nightmare. "Good" sex with lots of stamina is more tricky. It can be exactly what you want to begin with but unless imagination is regularly applied, it can get pretty boring if it goes on for too long.
More like Goldicocks (to steal a word from Carrie on SATC)!
This sex is too rough
This sex is too boring
This sex is just riiiiight...
Great question! I had an old man once tell me there is no such thing as bad sex--only good, better, and best. He was absolutely right.
The trick is with the word "sex." Sex is like eating. If you pretend you're having sex, but are not into it, or the other person's not, that's when it goes south. It's like chewing when you don't feel like eating. You can get hard, you can even cum, but chances are the other person picks up on what you feel, and it would have been better not to do anything at all.
You shouldn't call that "sex." You wouldn't call it eating if you don't feel like it. Nor do you blame the food. You never say you have "bad eating." You can blame the meal instead of saying you really had no appetite, or didn't feel like eating at all.
It makes no sense to fake an appetite. If you're hungry, clear water and a crust of dry bread tastes GREAT, and you don't even care what the bread looks like that much.
The only bad experiences I've had are from faking an appetite I didn't have. It was my fault. I didn't have "sex." I sort of wanted to have sex, tried to fake it, came, and afterwards, the lousy part of the experience was all my own fault, nobody else's.
I've also had sex with partners who were totally, completely incompetent. I didn't care at all, because I loved them, and could compensate for their weaknesses. It's like being a good cook, appreciating a meal that somebody who likes you prepares, and screws it all up. You still like them, and you still eat. And it's still a good meal, even though they are hopeless in the kitchen.
Not as far as I am concerned!
So you have always had sex with people you love? What do you do if nothing can compensate for their weaknesses? Fake it?
I had "bad sex" only once in my life. it was with a slim gal who was actually put together pretty well for being a little thin. we got along good, knew each other for a couple of years before we took interest in each other. she was smart, had a good job, neat, clean, frugal with her money, like to have a few drinks and get stoned, good sense of humor, a real smart ass in a funny, kidding around way. I thought I might be falling in love, UNTIL we went to bed one night. we kissed, petted, felt each other up, she's hot, I'm hot, she's guiding my cock to her pussy, I am in, slow grinding, she's gives a little OOOO! ahhhhh!, I'm doing everything I know. I cum after about 10 minutes, and back then, I kept a hard cock and kept stroking after I came. It was usually in this time frame that gals would cum. she did not. after a 1/2 hour I got tired and rolled over. what's wrong??? nothing. want me to lick you?? oh, no, don't do that. am I too small?? too big?? oh, no, you are big enough. she sucked me hard, and got on top and nothing ever happened. I rolled her over, fucked her until I blew again. fell asleep together, in the morning had sex again. I must have had 6 nights with her over a 3 week period, even visited another piece i knew in a nearby town, and pleased her. got my confidence back. this was about the time she started stalking me. coming to my house after work and showing up before I went out for beers Fridays and Saturdays. I even took her home from some of these "accidental run ins" and fucked the hell out of her. nothing, nothing at all. she admitted she had never had an orgasm. she finally got real mad and left me alone when after fucking her one night and nothing, I told her I had been fucking an old friend over in so & so town that afternoon, and had had wonderful sex. I suggested her seeing a doctor, i asked if she was abused as child. she said no to the doctor and the abuse. she got married, I got married, I moved away, she got divorced, I moved back, she got pissed off in a bar one night, threw a glass at me, never said a word, and stomped out of the bar. first time I had seen her in 15 years, and my wife is saying "WTF is going on"? was that Judy??? I said yes. still crazy after all these years.
Runco, if you want to write about your own experiences, go ahead. I think you missed what I wrote about "faking it." You shouldn't fake anything. You can't fake love. At least I can't.
invisibleman
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Another dilemma I observe...everyone has an opinion on what is good sex...and what is bad sex. And it is no wonder that anyone having sex with anyone else gets so dissatisfied with sex. Everyone is so damn picky and sophisticated over sex that it ends up being unsexy.
I think that affects relationships because sometimes love aesthetics are different between partners. I hate feeling like every guy I meet: Am I going to have to home study this guy's Kamasutra sexual philosophy? Or am I going to need to train for a triathlon?
This is the main reason I hate dating guys nowadays. You beyotches are too sophisticated.
I used to be enthusiastic about reading up on relationships and self-help. But due to my last relationship...I go BARNES+NOBLE and flip birds at "the entire section of the LOVE and RELATIONSHIPS/ SELF-HELP/ IMPROVEMENT". I don't EVEN buy those books anymore. I am so over it. What is the use in buying the goddamn sex books if I don't have the relationships? It is all too fucking much.
I think that affects relationships because sometimes love aesthetics are different between partners. I hate feeling like every guy I meet: Am I going to have to home study this guy's Kamasutra sexual philosophy? Or am I going to need to train for a triathlon?
This is the main reason I hate dating guys nowadays. You beyotches are too sophisticated.
I used to be enthusiastic about reading up on relationships and self-help. But due to my last relationship...I go BARNES+NOBLE and flip birds at "the entire section of the LOVE and RELATIONSHIPS/ SELF-HELP/ IMPROVEMENT". I don't EVEN buy those books anymore. I am so over it. What is the use in buying the goddamn sex books if I don't have the relationships? It is all too fucking much.
I shouldn't laugh but I am. Telling her you were screwing and satisfying some other piece was probably not the best thing to. I hope you didn't tell her while you were in bed together. If you did it to me I would brick ya! Forget chucking a pint of beer at you!
Some women for some reason can't come. I think many of them have subconscious issues around 'letting go' and/or vulnerability. I don't know how old this woman was but I didn't have my first orgasm until I was 19. Before then, I had masturbated but I remained clueless about the inner workings of my vj. Maybe she was too?
Some women for some reason can't come. I think many of them have subconscious issues around 'letting go' and/or vulnerability. I don't know how old this woman was but I didn't have my first orgasm until I was 19. Before then, I had masturbated but I remained clueless about the inner workings of my vj. Maybe she was too?
I shouldn't say "great story" in response to something like this, but it really is a great story. It puts things back in perspective. If you're not dealing with someone who's fully functional, it's a whole different ballgame.
