What does it all mean?

SprinkleMe69

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So about two months ago a friend from work text me out of the blue and wanted to know if him and his friends could come and drink at my place. I told him no, I really can't stand to be around drunken rowdy men. He was okay with that. We text back and forth about the football game that was on. At one point he started texting personal stuff and how he thought we would be good together and that he's thought about it for a while. I text back that him thinking about me, I would have never guessed that. After a few minutes he apologized for his behavior and to please not be mad at him and he hoped I didn't feel offended. I told him I wasn't mad nor offended by what he said and that we've known each other for a long time. He said okay that made him feel better knowing I wasn't mad or offended. I proceeded to tell him that I prefer he be sober and talk/text me about this kind of thing because someone having a few beers is just that and I respect a man more that can come to me and tell me things when he's sober. I further told him something was obviously on his mind and if/when he wanted to talk to me he could. He responded that made him happy that he could talk to me about it at a later time and for me to please not be mad at him because I seemed like his friend and he doesn't have a lot of those.

So about a week goes by and we were texting again, yes football. Again the personal stuff came up again and I told him that I wasn't like that with men nor do I just go running to them because they express an interest. He apologized for his behavior and said all he wants is honesty, trust and a good time. To me honesty and trust are different building blocks or a different foundation that does not lead up to just a good time. And a good time to me just means fucking. I haven't told him that is how I feel about honesty, trust and a good time. But I did tell him that I wasn't a DTF, FWB nor a FB. He didn't understand those terms so I broke them down to him. He further told me that he would be loyal to only FWB, me, and that he was discrete.

So I thought about it, but I have no libido and I am just not interested in anything sexual, with anyone.

So tell me guys, what does it all mean? Booty call? What's with the honesty and trust being tossed in there? I'm so confused.
 

socalfreak

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Well..... to be honest, it sounds like total booty call to me.

As for all the " honesty and trust" stuff.....probably just laying some groundwork and trying to push your buttons so you'll drop your guard.
I think I would feel kinda insulted that he thinks you're gullible enough to fall for that crap..... and angry that he tried to play around with your emotions just so he can get laid.
 

Dell1962

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What these guys have said. Texting is not an appropriate way to 'talk' to someone about feelings. It is impersonal and cold. If he wants to sleep with you, he needs to man up and talk to you face to face. But as has already been pointed out, he is looking for sex. Granted, he may be faithful, however, how many other people is he texting?

Also, you indicated you have no desire. You need to be honest to yourself and do what makes you happy and if this does not, then don't.
 

BIGMIKE

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I personally always tell people to "trust your gut"! I do this to myself and EVERYTIME I go against my gut feeling, it turns out in a bad or undesireable situation. It sounds like he is wanting to sleep with you, but he is going towards it in a submissive way, he is telling you how he feels in a way that HE feels like it's not pushing you, if you will. I am having a hard time explaning what I'm trying to say. I hope this helps
 

nicenycdick

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He's not the assertive type. Hence the need for some alcohol. He likes you. He finds you attractive. He wants to sleep with you. It is a drop more than a booty call. But sex is involved. He is being cautious because he likes you and you work together. He does not know how to bridge the co-worker/date gap. If you think you would gain something from knowing him better or getting closer to him, he is available. But he is interested in the sex stuff...if you really don't think he could re-kindle some of that lost libido, then you might want to think twice before you hurt or disappoint a friend/co-worker who you will have to continue to see at the workplace afterwards.
 

KTF40

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He sounds dumb telling you all of this over text (especially with a full week going by and all).

Have a convo in person to figure things out.
 

lovinglife

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As a guy that has a very hard time getting over that gap from casually talking to asking out on a date, I go with what NYC said. There is a girl that I like, a lot, and can casually talk with her but for some reason I am terrified of asking her out face to face. And I like her for more than sex, I wouldnt even care if sex wasnt involved... a date that led to bigger things (like an actual relationship or somewhere down the road maybe more) would be ideal.

Not every guy possesses the fortitude to ask somebody out, and with texting as an easy alternative they turn to them. And I dont think it has much to do with confidence, just an extreme nervousness.