What does it mean to you to be dominated in bed?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Wyldgusechaz, Aug 15, 2008.

  1. Wyldgusechaz

    Wyldgusechaz New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2006
    Messages:
    1,259
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Every woman I chat with online or talk with in bars and clubs wants to be dominated in bed. Not 99%, 100%. Generally not always, but certainly they want it in the sexual mix. As in this quote: " I just want to be used for his pleasure" or "Control me, make me do what you want."

    What does dominate mean to you? And to keep it on topic, does a big cock make you feel more submissive? Or a powerful muscular body?

    I know men like to answer these questions too so what does it mean to dominate? Gay men? Do you like the feeling of occasionally being dommed by your man?
     
  2. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    8,498
    Likes Received:
    18
    Stop going to that bar in the warehouse with the slings, and cages.
     
  3. psidom

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2006
    Messages:
    1,861
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    2
    dominate to me means...the art of persuasion.
    i do not "dom" my sub,i get them to crave it and ask me to do it.
    i persuade them.
     
  4. whatireallywant

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    3,587
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    LOL!

    I am a woman who does NOT want to be dominated, in bed or anywhere else. There is no greater way to piss me off than to try to dominate over me! :mad: (And I would show you a one-way route to the door!)
     
  5. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,455
    Likes Received:
    14
    I dont like to be dominated in the bondage way and the master/slave does nothing for me. But what i do like it to be lead into whatever is going to happen. A man who can mentally and confidently control the situation and not have to be told what to do or even demand it. Also a man who in a sensual way can let out his masculine side by using his strength and body to control mine.
     
  6. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    I sometimes like to be dominated but not humiliated. What I mean is I don't want to be blindfolded, hog-tied, or made to beg in a master/slave scenario. I do however enjoy male dominant positions especially if he restrains my hands and arms with his. A 69 with him on top is always nice as well. :wink::cool:

     
  7. Not_Punny

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2007
    Messages:
    5,542
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,204
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    California
    Hmmmmm -- sorry, but this is a case by case situation. How boring to only have sex one way! :wink:
     
  8. whatireallywant

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    3,587
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female


    I actually seem to like this too, although I am definitely not "submissive". I suppose those positions seem to make for more intense sex, which I like.

    And I'm all for "mixing it up" too, like Not_Punny said!
     
  9. D_Tamerton Taintpussie

    D_Tamerton Taintpussie Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    106
    Likes Received:
    0
    It really does depend on the situation, who you're with, and the chemistry. I like a guy to take control a lot of the time, but if he pitched it at the same level every time, it would get boring. If I'm really turned on, I, (very) occasionally, like to be slapped (not walloped) across the face, but if someone did it a lot without sensing that was what I wanted I would get pissed off.

    It also depends on the relationship outside the bedroom. In my last relationship I was with someone who wanted to control everything, and eventually it became suffocating. I think there can be a very fine line between being dominated in a way that is a turn on, and being bullied. Like anything, for it to have full effect, it needs to be changed up with a contrasting approach.
     
  10. tiff86

    tiff86 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2006
    Messages:
    537
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    California


    Yep I agree :smile: Not really weird stuff w/chains and all that just he likes to be in control and its really grown on me. He's usually on top and a lot of the time he pins my arms or wrists down or my shoulders. Honestly at first when we started doing it I wasn't so sure but I've kinda gotten used to it and expect it plus its grown on me and I really like it now :smile:. But yeah no weird stuff.
     
  11. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    3,029
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    WA
    blindfolds? No Blindfolds? Blindfolds can be used in other ways besides domination.
     
  12. Ed69

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2006
    Messages:
    2,617
    Likes Received:
    210
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Talent (OR, US)
    Just like everythingelse in married life.Get her to think it's her idea and everythings good!
     
  13. PussyWellington

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2006
    Messages:
    548
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Asia/Australia
    I think it means they want to lose control. To completely surrender to their partner. To be taken to their limit. It's the ultimate show of trust.

    Maybe in a "Bitter Moon" kind of way?
     
  14. Symphonic

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2008
    Messages:
    1,735
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    36
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Minneapolis (MN, US)
    ._.'

    If by dominate you mean take charge...

    I hate it.
    I hate being asked to do it anyway.
     
  15. sxy_vince

    sxy_vince Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2006
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Australia
    Can you give more info about the "Bitter Moon" reference? I assume that its a movie. I had a look at "Bitter Moon" movie scenes on youtube but couldn't find any that seemed to involve domination.
     
  16. sxy_vince

    sxy_vince Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2006
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Australia
  17. kur1ous

    kur1ous New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2008
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I totally get off on having a man control me sexually.... dominated completely...
     
  18. Runco

    Runco New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2008
    Messages:
    591
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    London
    I agree in part with the sentiments in that posting. Sometimes men can be a bit clueless in bed. They might ying when they should yang or zig when they should zag. Or want to take it slow when all a woman wants is a good seeing to. I am okay with men misreading me if it happens occasionally because we can't all be on our game all the time. I know there are times when I am not 100% focused when I am in the sack (well, not initially anyway!):tongue:.
    But if it happens all the time...well, that to me is a recipe for sexual frustration. Big time.

    Do I like to be dominated in bed? Sometimes. What I like more is the feeling of being possessed completely. Ravished. Throughly. (Sorry I am cackling here!). I like strong men who can move me around with ease and make me feel small and feminine (no easy feat given that I am 5ft 10in tall!). I like men to touch me like I am theirs. Like every part of me belongs to them and is there for their pleasure. I also like it when men a) know when to do the slow hands and the fast hands b) firm hands vs gentle hands and c) two hands vs octopus. I am sure there are MANY women here who know what I am talking about...
     
  19. key_largo

    key_largo New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2008
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    The girl I'm having sex with at this time loves to be dominated in bed, this was a surprise for me because we went out a couple of times before having sex and she always said or made it seem that she likes to be the dominant one. I must say that I haven't noticed any of that during sex... not that I'm not enjoying the sex we have but I sure would like if she'd ride me till I come without having to be very active. And by that I do not mean that I want to be sleeping, I just want to watch her enjoy and using me for her pleasure, touching her, ...

    What does this say about me?

    @ Runco
    She also likes the feeling of being possessed and being moved around. She also likes the feeling of being small and feminine I guess, I'm about 188cm (6ft, 3 1/4 ") so I'm glad I'm able to do that.
    My question to you is, do you like to be on top and be the absolute dominant one sometimes too?
     
    #19 key_largo, Aug 19, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2008
  20. Runco

    Runco New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2008
    Messages:
    591
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    London
    Yes I do but I don't like it when a guy just lies there. I like to know he is digging it and even if I am in the dominant position, I want him to participate too. And, without giving away too much detail (!) I like to give orders at times but I have found that some men are not receptive to that for some reason. A male perspective on that would be appreciated.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted