What Does It Mean?

hungTerrance9

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There's a reason they say "all's fair in love and war".

Realize you are in a sense at war at the moment.

The battle: to get her attracted to you again (if you want her back).
The first weapon: Distance. She must forget about any anger she has against you.
The second weapon: Curiosity that distance creates. Feed her fantasies of what you may or may not be doing. Drive her wild with passion, again like when you were first dating.
The third weapon: Aloofness when you do reconnect after a month or so. The more aloof the better. Curiosity and mystery drives passion like nothing else.

But, make no mistake, you are at war. Once you realize this you're half way there. (if you want her back, that is)
 

MarinerDNA

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In my experience that was always a cop out and meant there was another guy she found adequate enough to take my place or that she wanted to get closer to. Somebody from her past or from work or wherever. It never meant I was being cheated on but that these guys had "wowed" her with some slick talking BS, and in the other case it was an old fling who moved back to town after being away for a few years just as my GF and I were starting to have problems.

It could be she doesn't want the commitments, but that's an easy thing to say to your partner. Telling him you want to explore possibilities with another guy is not.

I think you should give her the space she wants and more. Drop her and don't talk to her again until she comes back. You'll lose to the other guy for a time being but at least you'll save yourself the see-sawing back and forth which is what hurts in the long run.
 

hungTerrance9

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In my experience that was always a cop out and meant there was another guy she found adequate enough to take my place or that she wanted to get closer to. Somebody from her past or from work or wherever. It never meant I was being cheated on but that these guys had "wowed" her with some slick talking BS, and in the other case it was an old fling who moved back to town after being away for a few years just as my GF and I were starting to have problems.


That describes EXACTLY what I'm going through right now with my ex-girlfriend.

I think you should give her the space she wants and more. Drop her and don't talk to her again until she comes back.

And, that is exactly what I'm doing. Funny enough she emailed me out of the blue last night after only two weeks of not talking. I thought it would take longer.

Thanks for your post.
 

wellhung9

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Thanks everyone. She's talking about how she can't decide what to do still and she's still in love with me but needs to think. She says theres a lot of great things about our relationship, but also hates how much we fight and is getting scared of how serious its getting. She says she's not always happy with our relationship and can tell I feel the same way because she can't hang out with me as much as I would like. She texted me this last night. She also told me texting is making it easier for her, but I think I need to take your guys advice and tell her I'm gonna give her more space and not respond to her texts?

I think Im gonna go about my day like I was single. Maybe no contact with me will help her think better and more quickly.

Again thank you everyone.
 

helgaleena

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If you fight a lot that is not a good sign. You only just mention this. :eek:
A little distance is the wise thing in that case. It will help you think more objectively as well, not just her. Sounds like to you the glass is half full, and to her it's half empty. Keep this in mind as you think about things yourself during your break.
 

hungTerrance9

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If you fight a lot that is not a good sign. You only just mention this. :eek:
A little distance is the wise thing in that case. It will help you think more objectively as well, not just her. Sounds like to you the glass is half full, and to her it's half empty. Keep this in mind as you think about things yourself during your break.

That is really good advice. It's funny because when someone leaves us the natural thing to do is to chase after them. But maybe that's not a great instinct to follow.

After my girlfriend left me a couple of months ago I was really devastated. I would have done anything to get her back but now that I have met more girls and made more friends life has expanded. I can't say I want her back as a girlfriend anymore.

I look out and see all the possibilities, nothing definite, no one in particular yet it is a nice feeling to know I have options. And, I realize my ex and I both rushed into our relationship. We were kids and acted like kids but maybe that wasn't such a good thing. Anyway at this point it feels nice to be able to weigh out the opportunities and to say yes, no and maybe.

I can't deny it. I miss her - she emailed me yesterday and I almost fell apart. I miss her touch. I miss sex with someone besides myself but I can't force myself to just fuck around without emotional attachment. Maybe that, more than anything else makes me want her back. I won't deny it. Sex is a powerful force.