What does sex mean to me?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by B_Mademoiselle Rouge, Jun 15, 2008.

  1. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I'll tell you what it means to me as a woman...for me sex is not a means to an orgasm, but a means to intimacy. If i get an orgasm, great, if i dont, it means more to be to have had him inside of me than to orgasm by myself. I have a lot to say on this subject because there is a lot of misconceptions about how women interpret their sexual experiences. Men look for the orgasm as a real sign of her satisfaction. Let me invite you into my thoughts...

    The connection Part I:

    All day long i yearn for him to be inside of me. To feel his breath in my ear and his muscles tense up as i wrap my arms and legs around him. The kisses we share goes into my depths and down to my netherparts to show him their response.

    I get flushed and hot no matter how cold the room is and our bodies stick together slightly as we move all over one another. I take in his smell. A smell like no other man i've ever smelled before. I smell his neck before i gently bite it and follow up with a lick. I move downward to smell his chest hair and become intoxicated as i rub my nose in it.

    I stop and look at his body below me and see the little smile on his face...a smile of being entirely content with me at this moment. Nothing else matters to either of us right now. Just the goal at hand. Neither of us can wait to feel that first thrust and i know thats on his mind too.

    I move downward to smell his dense pubic hair and as inhale i think "mmmm MAN" its the ultimate pleasure to my olfactory senses. I know more parts of my brain light up as i take in his scent and my pussy responds even more. He thrusts his hips inadvertantly as i move downward. His cock is always rock hard and dripping some precum by this point.

    I continue to smell his bush as my face gently rubs against the shaft, he thrusts a little more....my pussy gets swollen and engorged wanting him so badly to be inside. I lick his precum off of his hairy belly and tip of his cock. He knows what comes next for him and he can't wait. I can't wait but i try to approach his cock slowly so he wants it even more. I swallow the slimey salty sweetness and go for more of it.

    I lick at the bottom of his shaft near his balls all the way up to the tip. I make him wait to feel my mouth envelope his cock head. I have to remind myself to go slowly...to not get impatient so anticipation can rise between us.

    Part II shall come soon my dears.

    So i can no longer wait to feel him inside my mouth...and i go for it. I can fit little more than the head before he hits my back teeth and i put a hand around his shaft to work in unison with my mouth. He lets me know just how much he enjoys me doing this. His sounds encourage my mouth and hands. I'm careful not to get him too close to orgasm...i know when to stop and to start kissing him to get past the sensitivity. He responds to my eagerness and wants to orgasm if i'm enjoying myself a little too much. But i want his orgasm to happen inside of me. So i lie down next to him to encourage him to give me some attention...

    Inevitably his mouth goes for mine and i know he can taste himself on my lips...it turns me on even more to think about it. Next he goes for my breasts where it likes to spend some time. He smells the skin between my breasts and inhales deeply. He then grabs a breast and dives into my nipple licking it in circles and sucking intermittantly. I writhe underneath him and hold his head tight against my body, i smell his hair and grab it hard. He does the same thing to the other breast and puts his hand on my pussy to see how wet i am before he carefully positions himself between my legs. I think to myself...i cant wait to feel his soft mouth caress my soft lips and clit. But he teases me first, rubbing his nose in my pubic hair. I grab his head and push it firmly into my parts and he is forced to do what i want him to do. Like a hungry infant to a bottle...he goes for it.

    Sometimes this leads to orgasm, sometimes not. Either way, he's going to have his way with me and i'm going to love every second of it. Sometimes i tell him to please stop and put his cock inside of me as i can't take waiting for it any longer! Sometimes he stops and puts himself inside of me. The first thrust is sheer heaven...it takes me to another place for a moment and time stands completely still. We both let out moans and the pain mixed with pleasure makes my eyes roll back in my head. I can feel his back begin to sweat and i listen to him as he works his way into me deeper. I help him by pulling him towards me and grabbing his hips. I can't get enough...i could stay in this place forever.

    As he comes close to orgasm, he stops and i can feel his throbbing cock and i have to stay completely still as to not push him over the edge. We do this many times. We get harder and faster to the point of no return and i know he is going to explode....i work my hips with his thrusts to get him there. The pleasure is so intense. Then i hear his deep voice grunt as his orgasm takes over him and he pushes into me as hard as he can. I hold him close and feel his heartbeat and smell his sweat. His cock pulsates and he collapses on top of me to catch his breath.

    We lay there in sheer exhaustion.

    After you read what describes a normal evening with sex in my life...which didn't even describe an orgasm happening on my part, do i sound disappointed? Do i seem to be missing out on something wonderful happening when we are intimate with one another?

    I know some men and most women who read this will understand what i'm trying to explain. And i hope many of you who read this will be inspired to enjoy the experience with your lady and not be so consumed with thoughts of getting her to orgasm before you can feel like a real man. Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. There is no pressure there- for either of us.

    I love orgasms just as much as anyone else but sex is something that brings me closer to my man and has its own frequency of pleasure that can not be acheived alone. If i had my choice to have multiple orgasms alone or none at all during sex, i'd choose the sex any day of the week. For i take pleasure in his pleasure.
     
    #1 B_Mademoiselle Rouge, Jun 15, 2008
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  2. dongalong

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    You are beautiful inside your mind too Mademoiselle Rouge! ;)
     
  3. B_Demention

    B_Demention New Member

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    Yeah, I think a lot of men would benefit if they read this. It's the whole holistic/mechanic divide that so many never seem to understand.
     
  4. Brillig47

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    Mmlle R. Yet another glorious talent. How wonderfully well you write, and how totally you cast a spell that brings me into the femaleness of your psyche. Curiously, a questionnaire I took some time back told me that my brain is mainly feminine in its nature, acting much more from intuition than from logic. My g/f, om the other hand, a scientist by profession, turned out to have a much more male/rational brain than me. Is this why your writing turned me on so, in a way that the usual aggressive male erotica does not? Interestingly, some of the best erotica has been written by women, like Anais Nin.

    And, as you so rightly point out, males are obsessed with women having orgasms as a proof of their maleness, probably because their own sexual climax is usually phallic focussed and centred entirely around ejaculation.

    The essence of real tantric practice is decoupling orgasm from ejaculation for the male, and learning to experience whole-body, multiple orgasm, more like a woman, than the usual male cum-climax.

    And in my experience, real satisfaction comes from exactly what you have described, the wonderfully enhanced intimacy that the physical linking brings, especially when it is not focussed exclusively on orgasms, male or female.

    The result, as you obviously know, is that the couple can cruise along on a plateau of really electric energies, where time stands still, and another dimension seems to open out, as you say,"it takes me to another place for a moment and time stands completely still."

    The magic is when that moment can be made to last, as it seems, forever.

    Beautiful writing, amazing thoughts, thank you Mmlle R.
     
  5. Love-it

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    A marvelous and elegant paen to sensuality and sexuality. Sharing in one another's delights is such an integral part of lovemaking. You are lucky to have such a partner, willing and able to join with you.
     
  6. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    For me sex isnt even about sex, it is about being close with that person, trusting them to look after me, respecting them, knowing i can trust them, letting them inside of me, telling them my most secretive secrets and the most inner private parts of my world. Lying side by side knowing in that moment they are just happy to be there with me. Anything after that is a bonus
     
  7. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    I read your blog, lady. :tongue:
    Loved it!

    This is very true for me as well - I love to orgasm and fortunately easily do, but I crave the connection and intimacy during sex more than anything else. When I truly desire someone, there is nothing more I want than to smell him, taste him, hear him, feel him inside me, wrap around, and share our bodies.

    There's something beautiful in building trust in a relationship so there is a knowing how to give a partner pleasure by feel that is amazing. As I said before, lucky couple. :)
     
  8. kc2007

    kc2007 Member

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    I don't know, I mean if you Could orgasm everytime maybe you would be more inclined to "try" and orgasm during sex...or, work with your partner to achieve orgasm. I had a girlfriend who could orgasm nearly every time we had sex and if she didn't then it was a bit disappointing because she was so accustomed to it. So basically I would work as hard as her to help her get there....that actually made it very exciting for me as well. So I guess the sentiments you expressed about sex can be the same for guys as well as girls.
     
  9. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I've had a million orgasms by myself. I can have as many as i want in a session. The physical and emotional pleasure i receive from all the other things mentioned is so much more fullfilling than trying to be under pressure to orgasm. I'm not built to orgasm from sex alone. I've tried many times and i'm ok with that. Like i said i've had plenty of them and i still get them so who cares how i get them or if i opt out of having one sometimes.

    The reason for writing what i did is to reiterate that its not about the orgasm for me. I can have one of those any time i want in 5 minutes.
     
  10. Lng_1

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    MR.... I agree with your sentiment and ultimate conclusion... however, I must confess, I enjoy the intimacy and closeness of my wife. It is like I know all her inner most secrets and yearnings. We share our lives, our bodies, our minds, our souls. Secret looks, touches-- that mean nothing to anyone else can set our minds, hearts and libidos racing because they mean so much more to us. The anticipation of a close physical connection, the initial touch, kiss and more... the first penetration... the sound of our breaths... noises... lustfulness.... I yearn and want all that....

    and all that intimacy alone is awesome, special, etc... but coupled with one or several mind blowing orgasms... AICHEE WOW-WOW!!!

    Now, I've cum alone thousands of times and it doesn't not compare to the intimacy I share with my wife.... but intimacy with her plus orgasms... unbeatable! (pardon the pun)!
     
  11. honeydew

    honeydew New Member

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    MR--- I could not have expressed any better the feelings you have put down. This eis exactly how I feel in regards to sex. There are many times I could care less if I orgasm, just feeling him touching , tasing , entering me..WOW.


    Honeydew
     
  12. johntheironsmith

    johntheironsmith New Member

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    Mademoiselle Rouge, I have glanced at some other posts of yours, and I believe you are married, and from this thread I gather that sex it a means to enhance the intimacy and closeness between you and him. I was wondering, if the meaning of sex different for you before you got married? Did it mean the same when you were dating? Before you met your husband?
     
  13. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I would say that i've always had a high sex drive during my teens and i had sex because it felt good and ultimately for the intimacy. A lot of young girls have sex in order to get that kind of closeness to someone. I think i equally enjoy the physical and emotional pleasure it brings. It's just much more intense now that i'm in a good, long lasting relationship.

    When you look at the biochemical responses in the female body, the bonding hormone Oxytocin is released when orgasm happens. This is also the same hormone that is responsible for the milk let down during breastfeeding. The feelings of closeness and elation will soon follow.

    I also think the good relationship i have with him outside of the bedroom further enhances what happens in the bedroom, vice versa. It's very hard to have one without the other for us women.

    I had only a couple of one night stands before i got married and they didn't feel nearly as good as the sex i had in prior emotionally intact relationships.

    Sex with my husband almost 10 years into marriage is a lot more satisfying than it was before we got married and even up until a year ago. I think it has a lot of psychophysiological reasons behind it. Sex is a source of pleasure and a way to show my husband the love and care that i have for him by being available for him when he wants me or initiating the sexual encounter to show him how attractive he is to me.

    I do believe that a reason why so many young women have lost their virginity and never experienced an orgasm at the hand/mouth/penis of a man is because the other components that allow for it to happen aren't in place, not necessarily love per se, but respect. Well, that and the lack of anatomy undertanding. I was sexually active at a very young age and still am, i enjoy sex much more now than i ever did then and i have a lot less orgasms because i don't masturbate as much. It seems strange that one would equate more satisfaction in their sex life whilst having less orgasms, but when the psychological and emotional needs are met too, there is an ultimate satisfaction and release that takes place.
     
    #13 B_Mademoiselle Rouge, Jun 19, 2008
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