What does this make me???

[fortiesfun]

So, here is the thing, HORSEHUNGJOCK, what you are worrying about is your "identity." How you think of yourself. But identity isn't a real "thing." It is in your head. Put whatever label you want on yourself, but don't get too invested in it, and for God's sake, don't put too much investment in other's labels either. Compared to actual behavior, they are rarely accurate.

Fact is, according to the best research, in the course of their post-adolescent lives, about 80% of men will have sexual experiences with both genders. Maybe not a lot, and maybe not forever, but THE VAST MAJORITY of men will try a little M2M along the way, well after pre-teen playing around is over. What it makes you, if you ask me, is late to the party, but perfectly normal.

If you want a label, for now, why don't you use LPSG's excellent "unsure." Seems an accurate assessment.

 

[rabidrabbit]

HORSEHUNGJOCK,
I know what you're feeling and talking about. I think I fall into the same category. Although I've done a lot of thinking and I'm finding that for me, it's more of a penis obsession than anything else.
For example: I have absolutely NO drive whatsoever to kiss a guy. I don't want to hold hands, or snuggle or anything like that. I don't want to make a man happy or impress a man in that way. But I love looking at cocks. Big, small, black, white. I also enjoy anal stimulation. Something I practice alone AND with my girlfriend.

I have given a few BJs in my life, and I'll admit I still fantasize about it. I can't say whether or not I'll give another, it's a toss up. What I can say, though, is that I'm straight. No part of me wants to be in a male/male relationship. Just because I'm a very sexual person who refuses to limit my sexual enjoyment doesn't make me gay.

 

[mtguy1972]

Just adding my thoughts on what's already been said:

It's NORMAL to have such thoughts and fantasies: our culture is just so homophobic that anything less than "100% Straight" is viewed as wrong. These thoughts and feelings came up naturally, so why not let yourself have them? It doesn't make you less masculine or less of a man: that's the homophobic stereotype that we've been bombarded with since day one. You're just brave/secure enough to admit it.

I'll refer to the Kinsey scale and the idea that sexuality exists on a continuum and that we aren't 100% anything. Don't worry about labels (like bi, gay, bi-curious, etc.) You said you love women and know you do, and that you find some men attractive. That's cool. You don't have to label it, nor do you have to allow others to label it for you.


Whether or not you act out those thoughts is your choice and it's OK to do so, or not to do so. Just don't do it to "prove" anything to yourself, do it because you want to and you're into the person you're with. I would disagree with the poster who said you should go get jerked off by a male massage worker. Having same-sex relations before you're ready or to try to "figure things out" could backfire. Just give it time, and if you decide you want to act on it you can do it in a way that feels comfortable for you and when you feel ready to do it.

In my opinion, anyone who has problems with same-sex attractions are either ignorant of sexual issues, insecure or uncomfortable about their own sexuality or both.

Just my thoughts....do/think about what feels natural man!

 

[ledroit]

Furthermore, I don't think you're gay. .... Sounds a little kinky to me, but not gay.

You straight guys are cracking me up with these pronouncements. It seems to me it would be pretty hard for a straight guy to be an authority on what real gay identity is. I'm gay, and have thought about it a lot, and don't think I even know what real gay identity is. So it cracks me up when straight people do. You have to admit it is at least a little bit funny.

To encourage somebody to think they are either straight, gay, or bisexual also seems to me to carry a hint of believing that maybe sexual orientation can be changed (and therefore should be either encouraged or discouraged). To me that seems to me a little like encouraging someone to believe they are 5'9" tall. Maybe you can try to encourage or persuade somebody to believe they are 5'9" tall, but why would you?

Individuals are the only ones who can identify themselves, on the basis of their own capacities and abilities. Sex involves the body's own talent for experiencing certain kinds of beauty as erotic, and expressing itself erotically. There is not much you can do about any innate talent, including the body's talent for sex, except either to cultivate or repress it. This is why the most important thing is telling the truth about the capacities and talents you have, and maintaining your integrity with others. But putting pressure, even a little friendly buddy buddy pressure on people to see themselves one way or another might be counterproductive. It feels a little like encouraging somebody to tell the truth only if it is a certain kind of truth. To me, that is one way of preserving a world where being gay can be systematically and deliberately misrepresented by dishonest people, for their own advantage. It takes balls not to play that game.

 

[bigboy9239]

Hello, my brother.
I too am black....although unless YOU too are black, you can't tell!!! LOL Anyway,....I have been married for 28 years, have 3 kids....AND 4 grandkids. And except for the white guy thing... I have always had the same fantasies, pretty much. My wife is black....and I have a fetish for spanish women. But I have always had a "thing" for big dicks. Don't know why...never had sex with a male....but I am turned on by the thought of it. Maybe because a couple of my friends are hung like horses...and I've seen thier cocks... don't know. I will say this...my one buddy (black)...who is every bit of 13 inches...I wouldn't turn down a MFM with the wife. In fact she has seen his cock and mentioned it to me!! I even gave her permission to fuck him...if she gave me the details. Go figure. And I am 6'2" and an ex law enforcement officer. Not a lot of gay shit there...but while unlike you....white guys asses dont do alot for me...I like pussy....if the the guy has a big dick....hmmm....at least they have my attention. Don't know if I'd ever suck or fuck a guy...but...like i said...if my 13" buddy and the wife were drunk ( or whatever)....I MIGHT do it.

 

[STYLYUNG]

There might be a straight white man out there, somewhere in the space that you travel in, that is fantacising about trying sex with a black man. You would both be finding the person that you are fanticising about and your joint experiment would be rewarding to both parties. Give this idea some thought. Keep your sex sensors in high gear. Listen for suggestive talk, eye contact, crotch- glances, at-the-urinal peeks, etc.. A good experience could develope. Let it! It will be a growth item in your life and it will not brand you as gay.

 

[Horsehungjock]

thanx for all the replies guys, they are helpful, im 21 so i have some time to experiment, i guess ima have to just work up the nerve and explore my options. cause i def wanna do it