what does this mean? what should i do?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by asianvirginboy, Sep 21, 2011.

  1. asianvirginboy

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    I do apologize for the long confusing story but I seriously need some advice & input from all the guys/girls out there. So here a little background-i have this friend of mines that I've been friends with for nearly over 2 years. To me, he's one of my closest friends that I am not ashamed to be myself and I really enjoy his company. He, I believe, only sees me as his friend. We've been working together in one of my school club for almost a year and a half. We talk, see, and chat on the phone quite a lot because of that. He used to have a girlfriend but broke up a few months ago because she was being unfaithful. He was distraught and stressed because of what happened & I gave him my honest advice/opinions.

    So here's the deal, yesterday and tonight, he & I along with other friends were working late at night at school. There's always been jokes going around how he's now single and that there's a lot of single girls out there for him (he always said that it's difficult because he's on the shorter side for a guy and difficult to find the right girl to connect with). But tonight, he met one of our mutual friend's roommate. I admit she was good looking and a nice girl. Throughout the night, they chatted and got close with one another. As we were wrapping up, he quickly grabbed his stuff and started to head out with this girl. There was this grin/smile on his face (you know, that face that a guy makes when 'i really like this girl, we're gonna go somewhere quiet & etc"). When I saw that face & the interaction they had going on, my heart immediately started aching and I just couldn't do anything but put a smile on my face and jokingly responded with raised eyebrows and smirks. They seemed to be really close and after they both left, all i could think about was him and just him. My heart continue to ache and i could feel that i was close to tearing up. I tried my best to hide it from the others but I really just wanted to stop him, pull him away and tell him the truth.

    So here are my questions: Why am I aching so badly? I mean I admit that there were times when I wish I was together with him but knew that he is 100% straight. Am I jealous of him or of her? As soon as I saw them close together, I couldn't help but feel that way. In your opinion, what does this all mean to you? What would you recommend doing? He's graduating at the end of this year so I only have a few months left to see/be with him and then I don't know when I would ever see him again. He is definitely one of my closest friend, good-looking, smart and definitely one-of-a-kind nicest person I've ever met. In your opinion, what should I do in this situation? How can I get rid of this heartache (that same feeling is coming back as I type out this entire scenario)? Now I am also starting to act weirdly around him. Could this be part of the problem I'm having now?

    Please no negative comments/opinions. Thank you all in advance. I really don't want to lose such a good friend but a part of me wants more than just friends.
     
  2. Drifterwood

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    You have an unrequitable crush. I can understand that it would piss you off to see him giving her the attention that you would like from him, but that isn't going to happen.
     
  3. nicecircjob

    nicecircjob Well-Known Member

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    You've got a crush on a straight guy. You're percentages reveal you are bi. You should realize that never the "twain shall meet." You've got to let him go because his interests is in the opposit sex. Yes, I'm
    sure you are heartbroken but it will never work out; him being straight and you being bi. You have to let go, and wish him well.
     
  4. MrToolhung

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    As the other two posters have mentioned it's not going to happen for you to be with him on anything then just a friendship albeit close. I think you are jealous of the girl because you wish it was you instead of her. You need to let go because the feelings that you do have is just going to get in the way of a great friendship.
     
  5. helgaleena

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    That friendship is much more important to keep strong and so you need to go out and find yourself a sex partner very soon. He is not bi and you are bi, so that means you have many more choices than him. He always has to get a girl. You can get both. Go do that.
     
  6. psguy64

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    What you describe happened to me - wish I could have received
    the all the advice in #2, #3, #4 and #5. It has been some
    35-yrs later and I still have weak knees when I think of him.
     
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