Think of it this way Mem, when you first joined here a few people dug at you, now given the nature of your posts can you really blame them? BUT on many sites you'd have been banned for being a troll, so this site is clearly not full of nasty people 
What drives nasty, miserable people?
- Thread starter Mem
- Start date
- Mem,
Think of it this way Mem, when you first joined here a few people dug at you, now given the nature of your posts can you really blame them? BUT on many sites you'd have been banned for being a troll, so this site is clearly not full of nasty people
Actually there are only 4 nasty people on my list right now, and none of them are female.
Some of these people are liked by others here too, but I have seen them be nasty to many other people, and not just me. For the most part I just ignore them and they just go away. As long as they do not reply to my posts I am happy.
There are also a few people at another web site, but I no longer visit there, so they can carry on with their misery.
Think of it this way Mem, when you first joined here a few people dug at you, now given the nature of your posts can you really blame them? BUT on many sites you'd have been banned for being a troll, so this site is clearly not full of nasty people
I dont really know about Mem's history on other sites but one thing I have noticed here that I dont like is that we often make quick iron clad decisions about individuals and they are very difficult to shake. There are a lot of individuals who find it amusing to be snide here, I am not going to lie. Perhaps it doesnt affect you in the same way or they are not addressing their snideness to you, SP but they are here and they are being snide.
I try not to make iron clad decisions, I realise that it's often hard for newbies to try to get into an established forum/chat room and if I see them starting off on the wrong foot I'll try to give them a hand - but some people you just can't help.
I've been a newbie on many forums and I've been subject to my share of snidiness, usually from a lady or two in the chat room who thinks a new very chatty woman with a lot to say for herself is a threat.
I've been a newbie on many forums and I've been subject to my share of snidiness, usually from a lady or two in the chat room who thinks a new very chatty woman with a lot to say for herself is a threat.
SandraSmithCarver
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It's amazing how people can shift the blame for their faults onto others
Because,, they dont want to look at them selves,, "Denial is not a River in Egypt",, if you really care about someone and there well being,, call them on things, issues,, why are people so afraid to do this???? It like Michael Jackson said, "Im starting with the man in the mirror"
usually,, what you see in other people is what you hate or dislike in yourself!
What happened to social skills?
They are not TAUGHT by there parents when they are growing up, and it's true, you TEACH people how to treat you. Lots of ignorant people out there
Because,, they dont want to look at them selves,, "Denial is not a River in Egypt",, if you really care about someone and there well being,, call them on things, issues,, why are people so afraid to do this???? It like Michael Jackson said, "Im starting with the man in the mirror"
usually,, what you see in other people is what you hate or dislike in yourself!
What happened to social skills?
They are not TAUGHT by there parents when they are growing up, and it's true, you TEACH people how to treat you. Lots of ignorant people out there
- Mem,
I give everyone a chance. And even a second chance. The people I hate in general are those who hold a grudge and are very stubborn.
Even the 4 people who I do not care for on here I can see me possibly being nice towards if they showed me the same amount of kindness.
It would still be hard for me since they would still be sarcastic and snide and mean and angry.
Even the 4 people who I do not care for on here I can see me possibly being nice towards if they showed me the same amount of kindness.
It would still be hard for me since they would still be sarcastic and snide and mean and angry.
Was that part really necessary, or are you being nasty and miserable?
I don't have a grudge against you, mem, but when you do the very thing you rant about in your thread, I have to call it out.
- Mem,
I was being honest. I admit it was a little nasty. Also, I did not mention anyone by name.
I hope that the nasty, miserable people will see themselves here and change.
Honest or not, "that other website" that you bring up so often has nothing to do with this one. I know I have challenged you on this particular habit several, several times before.
I suspect that mentioning it this time around was akin to an attorney, during a trial, asking a witness a question that he knows will raise an objection from the opposition, and when it does, he withdraws the question. The judge may instruct the jury to disregard the remark, but can they, really?
I was really starting to enjoy some of your posts. Please don't relapse.
DC.
I dont happen to agree with you.Though we would wish the two had nothing to do with one another, I have seen individuals bring battles from one site to another and the venom begun by nastiness in one place finds its way trickling back and forth. He was hurt. He is expressing it. Nothing more, nothing less. I think it all depends upon your perception and the reception you receive. I dare say your experiences there have been much more pleasant than Mem's for whatever the reason. .
- Mem,
Actually I haven't brought them up in quite a while, from what I recall. It just fit the subject and I wanted to mention it. There are a few VERY nice people who posted at the other site too.
I beg to differ, I think the other site does have something to do with this site, since it sprung from here, and one of their most popular forums is criticism of this website.
Gillette
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It's the justifying, rationalizing behavior that turns my stomach, to say how can you blame someone for attacking someone, that's easy, i'm in control of my own actions, therefore i'm acountable for them.
If someone bashes me it's because i've gained power over their emotions, thus they are out of control, i am guilty of this myself.
So it's quite simple, they have not learned to keep their mouths shut, just because you brain thinks doesn't warrent it true, so to push your opinions out there is actually quite pushy and obtrusive.
There is no justification of an attack other than the person attacking is out of control, because they can't keep their opinions to themselves.
Overly opinionated people, ones that are quick to judge are the ones with the most hate and misery, they have no control over their own lives(they are powerless)so instead of admitting they are powerless, they seek everything that is wrong in their own minds(self made prisons) instead of looking at everything that is right in the world.
It's actually quite simple when you think about it, they're(haters)so busy concentrating on the differences that they can't see the similarities.
This is where the expression can't see the forest through the trees comes from.
They will argue their point to death, i've learned to stop buying what they're selling and ignore them completely, not giving them the satisfaction of ruining my day, because non-intentionaly that's their objective.
Once you've admitted your powerless over people, places, and things, you've surrendered, having surrendered you no longer have to argue your point of view.
Surrender doesn't mean that you've lost, quite the opossite, it means you've regained your sanity.
chris
p.s. But what do i know, i'm just a nut.(Takes one to know one, right?)
If someone bashes me it's because i've gained power over their emotions, thus they are out of control, i am guilty of this myself.
So it's quite simple, they have not learned to keep their mouths shut, just because you brain thinks doesn't warrent it true, so to push your opinions out there is actually quite pushy and obtrusive.
There is no justification of an attack other than the person attacking is out of control, because they can't keep their opinions to themselves.
Overly opinionated people, ones that are quick to judge are the ones with the most hate and misery, they have no control over their own lives(they are powerless)so instead of admitting they are powerless, they seek everything that is wrong in their own minds(self made prisons) instead of looking at everything that is right in the world.
It's actually quite simple when you think about it, they're(haters)so busy concentrating on the differences that they can't see the similarities.
This is where the expression can't see the forest through the trees comes from.
They will argue their point to death, i've learned to stop buying what they're selling and ignore them completely, not giving them the satisfaction of ruining my day, because non-intentionaly that's their objective.
Once you've admitted your powerless over people, places, and things, you've surrendered, having surrendered you no longer have to argue your point of view.
Surrender doesn't mean that you've lost, quite the opossite, it means you've regained your sanity.
chris
p.s. But what do i know, i'm just a nut.(Takes one to know one, right?)
Non-intentional maybe, but yes. People who bring nastiness is exactly that, they brought it with them, they are just looking for a victom(someone who is unstable to entertain them), but when you intensionaly ask for it, you are no longer a victom but a volunteer(Asking for it, knowing what the outcome is beforehand, and doing it anyways.)
chris
rob_just_rob
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What drives attention whores?
That's what happens when we are spritually, mentally, and pysically bankrupt.
We look for outside opinions to make us feel good, not realizing that happiness comes from within, we have lost the ability to love ourselves.
When this happens it's very hard to love others, you can't give away what you don't have.
But lets not shut the door on this, it could be as simple as someone being an exibitionist, they just like sharing with the world the beauty of the human body or mind, which in my opionion can be a work of art.
Why be stingy and hide a picoso in your house when you can display it for all to see in a museum.
Theres always two sides to every coin.
chris
It's fine that you disagree with me. FWIW, I disagree with you. Just because a couple of bitter individuals have what they consider to be "scores to settle," though, that still does not make one site related to the other. And it does not mean that I want to see year-old pettiness resurrected "to prove a point." It's like 5 year old children playing "I touched you last!" See who can get in the last dig, the last insult. Then, once everyone forgets it and the dust settles, get in one final, triumphant jab.
And please do not presume to know what my experience has been on any website.
It did not spring from here, it was started by a member here. There's a difference. And you seem to be an expert on what their most popular forums is... especially for someone who neither likes it there, nor visits there.
How can you not see that you are doing precisely what you started this thread to complain about?
- Mem,
I started this because some people attack other people for no reason. They don't even respond to the topic, they just say something mean and nasty. If someone disagrees with me it does not mean that I think they are mean and nasty. This thread was not even started because someone was mean to me recently. It was because someone was mean to a member who I am not even familiar with.
I just wanted to know how they got so mean and nasty. I don't consider myself a mean and nasty person. Just because I point out that there are mean people here and on the other site does not mean that I am one. Most people can not be kind to each other all the time.
Maybe they are not as nasty or miserable as I perceive them to be. They may be set in their ways and do not tolerate other people's personalities.
Just sayin'...
Yeah, oh please. Whatever, Gillette. I know you have some issues and vendettas, too. Can you not leave "over there" over there?
"Do not become what you claim to despise."
-DC_DEEP
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