What goes through a guys mind during sex

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by D_Barbi_Queue, May 4, 2005.

  1. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    This was in my blog for a while, but I decided to throw it out there and let all enjoy. Plus I got tired of scrolling past the long post in my blog each time. :D It was found on ubersite.com.


    (in Paul Harvey's voice) ...and now you know....the rest of the story.
     
  2. viking

    viking New Member

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    OK, so that was hillarious!

    Sitcom material even.

    Personally, I think much slower than that during sex.
    It's more like:

    MMM , that smells good,
    Where's the lube?
    Damn these caps, they are all different.
    I wish this just came in a jar with an opening large enough for my hand.

    There, ahhh, hmm? More, MMM that's it.

    HHMMMM, ready for my big cock honey?
    AHHHHHHHHH, (holding breath)
    In out, in more, out, in a little more, out
    IN ALL THE WAY! ahhhh (exhale)

    Let's see, do these legs go up all the way today?
    Nope! ok, yea, that's it!

    Slow....MMMMM.....Deep.....MMMMM
    Repeat!

    Then my mind kinda goes numb for a while as I work up a good slow rythym.

    **idea! Where's that vibrator?
    Here, honey. I lube it up and hand it over to her.

    She places it accordingly, (Where, i don't care)
    But the vibrations feel great OHHHH< my cock shuddders.

    I should play with her ass.
    I reach around and start exploring.
    More lube. MMM that&#39;s it.

    Everything&#39;s starting to swell&#33;
    AHHHAHHH, slow down, slow down.
    UUUUGHHHGHHH, pounding hard now.
    Hold on, hold on,
    ahh, she&#39;s starting to kick, keep going,

    That&#39;s about all I can remember without making the rest up.

    Mostly just loud caveman like sounds.
    Lot&#39;s of thrashing around but not much thinking going on.

    :evilgrin:
     
  3. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    I think I like yours better. :lol: That sounds more like it.
     
  4. KidBrown

    KidBrown New Member

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    I should likely amend my profile to 1 percent homosexual, because ebviking&#39;s post turned me on a bit, haha.

    If I&#39;ve never been with a girl before, my usual feeling is "Holy shit, I&#39;m getting laid, woo hoo" &#33;&#33; Maybe when I get older that thought process will amend itself a bit, but I&#39;m not too sure. Then I try and think about non-sexual stuff as much as I can so I last longer, and I make sure not to look in a girls eyes if I don&#39;t want to get off right then and there. I&#39;m weird like that, I&#39;m not exactly an "eye" person (doesn&#39;t really turn me on or anything usually) but one look at the eyes when I&#39;m having sex and it&#39;s all she wrote.

    Now girls that talk dirty in bed, that&#39;s another story. It makes the experience so much better in my opinion.
     
  5. viking

    viking New Member

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    Hey Kid,

    My post refers to SHE as the partner.
    I wasn&#39;t describing gay sex.

    Unless it was ME that was turning you on???

    BTW, how old are you?

    Disclaimer: ( in no way is this post meant to infer that I would turn on a minor&#33;)

    LOL
     
  6. KidBrown

    KidBrown New Member

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    Maybe I need to write in a different style as to seem older. I&#39;m 22 man, I guess that makes me a little young around these parts. It&#39;s even worse when I&#39;m student teaching, trust me. I guess I&#39;m young enough for the seniors to think I&#39;m accesible, which has caused some, let&#39;s just say, embarassing situations. Most of the other teachers are at least in their mid-late 20&#39;s. The other day I had a student come up to me and say "gimme a call when I graduate, because then it&#39;d be cool if we hang out". I looked at her and said "that won&#39;t be happening, now please excuse me, I have a meeting to go to". Meanwhile I&#39;m thinking that I&#39;d like nothing more than to bend her over a desk and have my way with her.........

    The "one percent" comment was due to a guy turning me on, albeit with a story and not his body. Just trying to joke around with people, that&#39;s all.
     
  7. madame_zora

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    Wow, hot posts guys, keep it rolling&#33;

    Texass, you are the Queen of starting threads, hands down&#33; You always know how to initiate great conversations and the rest of is just chime in.

    KidBrown, I&#39;m sure at 22 you will get a lot of attention from the students, probably some of them are older than you. It&#39;s tough to keep your professionalism, but your mind is free to explore the untapped possibilities&#33;
     
  8. viking

    viking New Member

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    "Untapped possibilities"

    I like that MZ.

    Very clever.
     
  9. Irish

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    Let&#39;s see... I think the first time it went a little something like...

    Me: You ready?
    Brain: I&#39;m ready, hurry it up.
    Her: Yeah, but slowly.
    Brain: Ram it in.
    Me: Shut up, Brain.
    Her: What was that?
    Me: Nothing.
    Her: Okay...
    Me: Nice and easy....
    Brain: RAM IT IN&#33;
    Me to Brain: QUIET, I&#39;M IN CHARGE&#33;
    Me: It&#39;s not working.
    Her: What do you mean?
    Me: *pushes forward*
    Her: Ouch&#33; No, it&#39;s not working.
    Brain: RAM IT IN&#33;
    Me: Hold on...
    Her: *inhale*
    Me: Alright.
    Brain: GOOOOOOO&#33;
    Me to Brain: Damn it, just shut up already, this is difficult.
    Her: *exhale* You in?
    Me: About half... ^^;
    Her: Damn it...
    Brain: Hurry it up.
    Her: Whoa whoa, easy there...
    Me: Sorry.
    Her: Damn it... just... try pushing it in.
    Me: You sure?
    Brain: TOLD YOU&#33; GO GO GO GO GO GO GO&#33;
    Her: It should be easier once you get it in once.
    Me: Alright...
    Brain: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO&#33;
    Me: Wow, was it good for you, too?
    Her: :grr: *slap*
    Me: WAH&#33; I&#39;M SORRY&#33;
    Brain: Take that&#33; You go when I tell you to next time&#33;
    Me to Brain: I hate you, why don&#39;t you just go back to doing math.
    Brain: How about I compute how long you lasted in fractions of an hour.
    Me to Brain: Please don&#39;t.
    Her: Are you okay?
    Me: Yeah, just embarrassed.
    Her: Hey, I wasn&#39;t expecting much out of the first time.
    Brain: I have figures, you want to know how little she got.
    Me to Brain: Quiet, you&#33;
    Brain: You told me to do math&#33;
    Her: You&#39;re awfully quiet... what are you thinking...
    Brain: Please don&#39;t tell her you&#39;re making me do math...
    Me: Umm... just thinking about how much I love you. ^^
    Her: Right, what are you thinking about.
    Me: Math...
    Brain: FUCKER&#33;
    Her: You&#39;re strange...
    Me: I love you?
    Her: I love you, too. Want to try that again.
    Brain: Yes&#33;
    Me to Brain: STAY OUT OF IT THIS TIME&#33;
    Me: Yeah, just give me a minute...

    Things got a lot better when I tuned out my brain and just asked her what to do instead. :p
     
  10. GirlyMan

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    Hummm girls just want to have fun.....:)