"What Happened To All The Nice Guys?"
- Thread starter flame boy
- Start date
I didn't group you all together or say anything about submissivegirl83. I wrote "in general" attempting to avoid these personal defensive reactions.
Maybe. You'd have to try it and see what happens. Apparently it's worked for dolfette. In fact I've seen this happen myself, but usually it's because the bitchy girl is hotter, not necessarily by natural looks, but by slutty makeup and clothing. She also acts more slutty and promiscuous
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HiddenLacey
Cherished Member
The second quote was not mine, it belongs to Petite.
Explaining my feelings and saying you cannot group us all together is not a defensive reaction. It is a simple statement of facts. Women are not all the same.
Explaining my feelings and saying you cannot group us all together is not a defensive reaction. It is a simple statement of facts. Women are not all the same.
Wow, you think bitchy girls are hot. I think we may be getting to the root of the reason why you think nice guys are losers.
I'd rather not date stupid guys, so no thank you. Being a bitch would attract men who are dumb enough to put up with that sort of crap. Why would I want that? Why would you want to be an asshole and attract dumb women, either? That'll make both of you miserable.
The men I date are nice. They're also very intelligent. I wouldn't put up with an asshole and neither would the men I date because that's what kind of men they are and I like that about them.
This.
- sbat,
There is a difference between assertive self-confidence and being like an asshole.
What I think anyone wants is a partner who has confidence. It's just that our role models for "confidence" tend to be more of the asshole (if male), bitch (if female) variety. Younger folks especially can't really tell the difference, and assholes/bitches are in far more supply than simply self-confident (as well as more high profile). So folks equate success with being an asshole, rather than the true underlying trait.
There's also the dominance factor.
In general, most people respond positively to dominant people, male or female. Again, assholes are more likely to be aggressively dominant and so attract more attention. If you're more emotional than logical, you're likely to focus on the dominance rather than the quality of the person, hence so many people who are in love with abuse folks, male or female.
Smart men and women are more able to tell the difference and tend to gravitate to the assertive self-confident types, rather than the aggressive asshole types. The nice guys and girls that stay nice and grow more assertive, you see them with smart spouses.
What I think anyone wants is a partner who has confidence. It's just that our role models for "confidence" tend to be more of the asshole (if male), bitch (if female) variety. Younger folks especially can't really tell the difference, and assholes/bitches are in far more supply than simply self-confident (as well as more high profile). So folks equate success with being an asshole, rather than the true underlying trait.
There's also the dominance factor.
In general, most people respond positively to dominant people, male or female. Again, assholes are more likely to be aggressively dominant and so attract more attention. If you're more emotional than logical, you're likely to focus on the dominance rather than the quality of the person, hence so many people who are in love with abuse folks, male or female.
Smart men and women are more able to tell the difference and tend to gravitate to the assertive self-confident types, rather than the aggressive asshole types. The nice guys and girls that stay nice and grow more assertive, you see them with smart spouses.
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- sbat,
Easy petite. Emotions are more powerful than logic, and even the smartest folks can get overwhelmed by a captivating, yet flawed individual who knows how to play them.
This is true, and I am guilty of being fooled. But I was not attracted because he was an asshole, I just figured that out eventually.
However, we're talking about choosing to behave a particular way in an attempt to attract mates, and more than likely behaving like a bitch would not find me men who would make me happy in a relationship. More than likely, a lot fewer men would be interested in me. Honestly. It sounds like a train-wreck waiting to happen.
Yet all these guys think that being an "asshole" will make them happier relationship-wise and find them women that they want to have because of specific examples of some dude they think is a jerk. A guy thinks a man with a hot woman is a jerk, so obviously being a jerk got the woman? How does that make any sense? It doesn't.
bullshit.
i'm famously frigid and i purposely don't dress sexy.
it's just human nature to want approval. you don't have to do shit to get a nice girl to act like she approves of you, so that's she gets. but to get any hint of approval from a bich you have to work a hell of a lot harder.
does a dog jump through hoops if it's going to get the titbit whatever?
HiddenLacey
Cherished Member
I don't think being a jerk has anything to do with getting a woman. Nor does being a bitch have anything to do with getting a man. In my experience most guys/ girls start out acting like they are a nice person and then they turn out to be a jerk/ bitch later in the relantionship.
I'm not saying this is true for everyone, but it's what I have experienced.
I'm not saying this is true for everyone, but it's what I have experienced.
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I'll agree with this and make a reach by stating that most young (dating age) women are more emotional than logical. And I think we can all agree that quality men are the minority out there. Which brings me back to my original point that, in general, women are attracted to assholes. There are plenty of them, and they naturally push the right buttons.
There's a difference between approval and actually getting the girl. I'm considered a nice girl, and a lot of guys compete for my attention because while I'm nice, I don't just date anyone. There's a big difference between being nice to a guy and sleeping with him.
When I broke up with my last boyfriend, in the two weeks after I became single, twelve male friends that I had known for years confessed to carrying a torch for me and told me that they thought we'd be perfect together. I wasn't a bitch to any of them, ever, the entire time I'd known them, and I'd known some of them for more than 10 years. Obviously you don't have to be a bitch to get lots of male attention.
And I chose TheBoyfriend, who is without a doubt the nicest of them all.
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You admit that you used to fuck and asshole, and at the same time you argue that women are not attracted to assholes? That's hilarious.
I wasn't disputing your individual situation, just noting what I have observed first hand. Maybe you just look hot all the time, regardless of how you dress. That would again prove my point.
I disagree with the notion that most men would be interested in a challenging lay. I think most average looking men would rather throw all their chips on a sure thing. I personally avoid bitches because they intimidate me.
Do you think an ugly bitch would get any attention at all?
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Just because you disagree with me does not mean I have a problem. It's a commonly accepted fact that women like assholes. It's also well known that women don't want to admit it. Hence the discord in this thread.
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