What happened to just plain old common decency?

earllogjam

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What goes around comes around. Dogs need to shit and pee somewhere. Don't be suprised if you spew shit that it finds its way back to you.

What I don't understand is why anyone would WANT to be a member of a support community who gets no support out of the community, is not appreciated nor has anything meaningful to contribute.

The parasites and pests that feed on this board are like grains of sand, trite, worthless and utterly forgetable in real life but once under your eyelid they are just unbearable.

They have a way of eroding the enjoyment of the site. Some are like fleas in that you can never get rid of them until they are permanently banned and yet they still return.
 

Gillette

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whatireallywant

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Well I have no idea where else you lovely people post on the net, but I have to say I have never seen anything quite like I see here!

The odd argy-bargy but nothing like the venomous posts I've seen on this board.... nor the number of trolls....

Maybe I do live in Utopia... but there is certainly a lot of viciousness here, and very little respect for peoples opinions! It seems some are allowed them whilst many others aren't.

I just keep my head down and go stay in the safe places.
The weird conclusion I came too this afternoon after attempting to read o-lpsg was that maybe people with or who liked big cocks were very angry people! :eek: No idea why, IMHO they have a lot to be happy for!:biggrin1:

If you want to see virulent hatred, go to the alt.support.shyness newsgroup. It has strayed from a site for support for shy people to mainly posts by white supremacists and misogynists. :mad: Been that way for years - I occasionally have looked at it after a few years to see if the hatred has gone away, but it hasn't.
 

whatireallywant

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It's a shame that you feel like that as contraversial opinion makes for a good discussion. I do empathise with you though. I remember during my first few months here agonising over whether or not to make certain posts and not dealing well with conflict and attacks. I tend to be a lot more "couldn't give a shit" now but still dislike thinking I have upset someone needlessly. Attacks on myself are like water off a duck's back now but I'm still quite defensive of those I know and like here.

I'm even worse about this in real life, as my opinions have been met with open hostility in the past and I am very inept at defending myself verbally.
 

B_Think_Kink

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I'll give you that, but as SpoiledPrincess says, it's mainly trolls and driveby posters who deserve it. I'm referring to when a long time major contributor and pretty decent person gets attacked for no other reason than coming onto the forum.
Just cause you're in love with her wont stop the world from saying shit.

I'm just bitchy all the time, I don't really censor it in real life or on the net.

No wonder I don't got no fuckin' friends! Meh, who needsum?!?
I love you Snoozy... BFF
 

Mr. Snakey

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:kiss::wink:
Speaking as one who has recently been rather viciously attacked in various threads for little to no reason. I have to say I hope these bitter, angry people go back under the rock from which the came.:mad:

I don't expect everyone to agree with me; but I do think my opinions should be treated with respect.

Interesting Note: I never see the type of vitriolic hate which the OP refers to coming from the few real women members.
I saw one of the attacks you are speaking of. I wanted to post and call this person everything nasty thing i could think of. Then i thought i would be as bad as they are if i did. I think you handled it very well. You showed a kind of class that is rare. :smile:Them again its no suprise because you are very rare
 

DC_DEEP

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I seem to keep missing most of the threads where people are being so viciously attacked....:confused: I guess that's good for me, but bad for my reputation - since I'm not defending my friends.

Osiris, I understand the frustration that led you to start this thread. It was quite a few years ago when I coined the phrase, "Neither common sense nor common courtesy is common." Perhaps 'decency' would also fit into that category. I've never seen the general public display common courtesy, decency, or sense.
 

B_Hickboy

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I am sure this is not the first thread on this (nor will it be the last), but over the last 24 hours I have seen extremely rude and threatening posts made to other members of the forum. I can't speak to the reasons for them, but I can say they are definitely unneeded.

I am not going to mention anyone by name here as it is no one member, but can people at least keep the venom and blatant hate off the forum?

That is all.

Quit yo preachin' and dance, my friend. This is the interweb. It's the wild wild west all over again. the old rules for civility fail here, so my advice is the have some flesh and blood friends in reserve. There are too many people here who do not see others as human beings. You are an "it" to them, a mass of electrons with no intrinsic worth and no hope of ever gaining any in their eyes.

Now, go find somebody to love, but do it where you can feel their body heat while you're talking to them. This is the worst wasteland the human race has ever created. It's a big fucking mess, and it's only going to get worse.

You want decency? Come to my house and break bread. It ain't happenin long as you hang out here.
 

naughty

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I seem to keep missing most of the threads where people are being so viciously attacked....:confused: I guess that's good for me, but bad for my reputation - since I'm not defending my friends.

Osiris, I understand the frustration that led you to start this thread. It was quite a few years ago when I coined the phrase, "Neither common sense nor common courtesy is common." Perhaps 'decency' would also fit into that category. I've never seen the general public display common courtesy, decency, or sense.


Uh, I seem to recall at least one where you felt viciously attacked. I guess it is all in the eyes and feelings of the beholder. Unfortunately you are very right about common sense nor common courtesy being very common. I just think Common in its other definition is the rule of the day.
 

naughty

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I'm even worse about this in real life, as my opinions have been met with open hostility in the past and I am very inept at defending myself verbally.


Sweetheart ,

Dont feel bad. There are many people who are not fast on their feet when presented with gratuitous nastiness. It is a a shame that meaness and rudeness often prey on those who are least able to defend themselves.
 

snoozan

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First, as a disclaimer, I want to say that I am far from being innocent in spewing forth anger on this site. In fact, it's one of the things in all of my life that I don't like feeling, and like less acting upon in a destructive manner-- but it's something that I've yet to solve in my own psyche. When I get angry I feel a need to act, especially when I feel people are being deceitful or duplicitious. I don't like my attitude on here sometimes, and I admit to being part of the problem. There is a part of me that likes to get down and scrap, but there's a bigger part of me that will listen to reason.

With that said, and I am going to pick on you here, Osiris, but not because I don't like and respect your presence here. I just want to say what I've been pondering about when reading this thread, and thought I'd just go ahead with it.

On one hand, you sincerely want the level of discourse here to improve and be kinder, and yet on the other hand you spend a lot of time defending a member who has shown himself to be little more than rude, disruptive, and a troll. Though I've laughed at some of his posts for the humor, I have yet to see him post anything of substance except for your appreciation thread. I see this as being somewhat hypocritical, though I think there's more to it than that-- behind the scenes you've attempted to truly get to know him.

If you want LPSG to be a nicer place, I think you'd be the perfect person to be able to very kindly and constructively call people out on their behavior. In my case, if someone thinks I'm being overbearing and mean, I invite them to PM me in a somewhat polite manner and I'll respond. I need that sometimes, as do all of us. I'm not afraid to be wrong, and I'm not averse to criticism as long as it's somewhat constructive. As for my point in general, I'm just asking you that instead of making a thread that may or may not help, start addressing the problems as they occur if you really want to try to change them. From the bottom of my heart I think that you (and other members) are capable of doing such and could make a very positive change in the direction that you like.

On the other hand, there's always going to be debate and hot feelings, and I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing if the participants can remain somewhat civil. I see emotion and passion to be vital parts of life, so I think we need to accept some level of negative emotion to, hopefully, bring about greater understanding in general. I've been following the current racism thread and have found the contributions of you, njqt, playainda, naughty, and others to be informative and eye-opening for me, even though they were written in a rather angry thread and directed at people who will probably never understand your point. However, those of us on the sidelines can get a lot out of a thread like that.

If it's one specific person you have in mind that gets bad treatment by regular members (not by random trolls) it may just be that this person truly rubs people the wrong way, and there's not a lot to be done about that. I'm that kind of a person myself, and sometimes you just have to learn to live with it even when your most sincere efforts are made at being honest and true.
 

naughty

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First, as a disclaimer, I want to say that I am far from being innocent in spewing forth anger on this site. In fact, it's one of the things in all of my life that I don't like feeling, and like less acting upon in a destructive manner-- but it's something that I've yet to solve in my own psyche. When I get angry I feel a need to act, especially when I feel people are being deceitful or duplicitious. I don't like my attitude on here sometimes, and I admit to being part of the problem. There is a part of me that likes to get down and scrap, but there's a bigger part of me that will listen to reason.

With that said, and I am going to pick on you here, Osiris, but not because I don't like and respect your presence here. I just want to say what I've been pondering about when reading this thread, and thought I'd just go ahead with it.

On one hand, you sincerely want the level of discourse here to improve and be kinder, and yet on the other hand you spend a lot of time defending a member who has shown himself to be little more than rude, disruptive, and a troll. Though I've laughed at some of his posts for the humor, I have yet to see him post anything of substance except for your appreciation thread. I see this as being somewhat hypocritical, though I think there's more to it than that-- behind the scenes you've attempted to truly get to know him.

If you want LPSG to be a nicer place, I think you'd be the perfect person to be able to very kindly and constructively call people out on their behavior. In my case, if someone thinks I'm being overbearing and mean, I invite them to PM me in a somewhat polite manner and I'll respond. I need that sometimes, as do all of us. I'm not afraid to be wrong, and I'm not averse to criticism as long as it's somewhat constructive. As for my point in general, I'm just asking you that instead of making a thread that may or may not help, start addressing the problems as they occur if you really want to try to change them. From the bottom of my heart I think that you (and other members) are capable of doing such and could make a very positive change in the direction that you like.

On the other hand, there's always going to be debate and hot feelings, and I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing if the participants can remain somewhat civil. I see emotion and passion to be vital parts of life, so I think we need to accept some level of negative emotion to, hopefully, bring about greater understanding in general. I've been following the current racism thread and have found the contributions of you, njqt, playainda, naughty, and others to be informative and eye-opening for me, even though they were written in a rather angry thread and directed at people who will probably never understand your point. However, those of us on the sidelines can get a lot out of a thread like that.

If it's one specific person you have in mind that gets bad treatment by regular members (not by random trolls) it may just be that this person truly rubs people the wrong way, and there's not a lot to be done about that. I'm that kind of a person myself, and sometimes you just have to learn to live with it even when your most sincere efforts are made at being honest and true.


THank you, Snoozan. This post was very well thought out and full of positive and realistic viewpoints.
 

Male Bonding etc

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What goes around comes around. Dogs need to shit and pee somewhere. Don't be suprised if you spew shit that it finds its way back to you.
That's a rather earthy version of "what goes around comes around," or karma, right?

There is the flip side, which I believe Snoozan was espousing: instead of bemoaning the death of civility, one can proactively model it. It's not always easy to do, but the rewards do come back to you.
 

DC_DEEP

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Uh, I seem to recall at least one where you felt viciously attacked. I guess it is all in the eyes and feelings of the beholder. Unfortunately you are very right about common sense nor common courtesy being very common. I just think Common in its other definition is the rule of the day.
What I meant was, I have seen neither of the threads in which njqt or Osiris was attacked. As for the incident to which I think you refer, I was really more surprised at the support a troll got when he took one phrase, out of the context of the whole paragraph I wrote, then dragged his rancor and accusations into numerous other threads and PMs. I don't really need help defending myself against a troll's attack, but I was truly surprised at the troll's defense by other members.

It happened only once before, that I recall; I was warned by a couple of moderators, but that person ended up showing his true colors and got banned. Ancient history.
 

invisibleman

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Well, I would rather hear all the hate upfront than it manifest in other ways. Like I tell some on other forums...(the hate doesn't just end on this forum :smile:)...I can only be myself. And whatever you hate in me...I can only be. I don't waste much time with people's hatred. There are better things to do than hating.
 

SpoiledPrincess

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It's the net and sometimes I think heat is easily interpreted as hate, if someone's passionate about what they're saying they can go a little overboard thinking just of what they want to say, not what effect it might have on other people.

Snoozan's post was excellent and although I try not to make personal attacks I also can't help retaliating or making a sarcy comment if someone's being a pain in the arse, but I don't think of this as being hateful in any way, we're only applying the same rules we'd apply in real life, it is only the net but why should any of us put up with crap on here that we wouldn't tolerate in real life.
 

B_Think_Kink

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It's the net and sometimes I think heat is easily interpreted as hate, if someone's passionate about what they're saying they can go a little overboard thinking just of what they want to say, not what effect it might have on other people.

Snoozan's post was excellent and although I try not to make personal attacks I also can't help retaliating or making a sarcy comment if someone's being a pain in the arse, but I don't think of this as being hateful in any way, we're only applying the same rules we'd apply in real life, it is only the net but why should any of us put up with crap on here that we wouldn't tolerate in real life.
I totally believe in this.... I don't hate anyone. Hate is such a pointless thing.
 

Principessa

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I was told to commit suicide as I was the most obnoxious and annoying poster here. Now I can be a bit if a snob; but given that membership here is well over 120,000 I doubt very seriously I am the most obnoxious and annoying poster here. :rolleyes::tongue:
http://www.lpsg.org/1078304-post5.html
http://www.lpsg.org/1078374-post6.html

:kiss::wink:I saw one of the attacks you are speaking of. I wanted to post and call this person everything nasty thing i could think of. Then i thought i would be as bad as they are if i did. I think you handled it very well. You showed a kind of class that is rare. :smile:Them again its no suprise because you are very rare

]I seem to keep missing most of the threads where people are being so viciously attacked....:confused: I guess that's good for me, but bad for my reputation - since I'm not defending my friends.
That's okay DC_Deep I've seen pics of your dungeon. :wink: I understand if you are incommunicado at times. [/color]
Osiris, I understand the frustration that led you to start this thread. It was quite a few years ago when I coined the phrase, "Neither common sense nor common courtesy is common." Perhaps 'decency' would also fit into that category. I've never seen the general public display common courtesy, decency, or sense.
Nor have I. I used to work at Six Flags Great Adventure in NJ, in food service. When you slave over a roller grill in 95 degree heat people get a little snippy with you when you run out of sauerkraut.