What happened to just plain old common decency?

[Ethyl]

No one ever flames at me. What am I, chopped liver?

*flicks lighter, presses nozzle on aerosol can of hairspray, aims in JA's direction*

 

[B_cigarbabe]

No one ever flames at me. What am I, chopped liver?

No your'e not chopped liver,but are damned cute! :naughty:
cigarbabe:saevil:

 

[Drifterwood]

*flicks lighter, presses nozzle on aerosol can of hairspray, aims in JA's direction*

Yeah - burn heretic :biggrin1:

 

[Freddie53]

I can't control what others say, but I can control what I say.

I try to live by that.

If you don't like chocolate pie, then why do you have one whole pie on your plate and you are in a race with others to see who can eat a whole chocolate pie the fastest.

I get amused watching "good contributing members" who when are face with trollish behavior directed at them then resort to see if they can out troll the real troll. After a few posts, it is impossible to see who the troll really is without going ALL THE WAY back into the thread and sometimes to other threads.

I say this because as a mod, I have been in this situation when someone reports a post. Sometimes when researching it, I find that the reported person is not the one who started it. In fact the "innocent one" resisted and posted with great character for a while and then...finally had enough.

And then the flaming war begins. What we all sometimes forget is that there is no real bravery in typing one set of characters on the keyboard and another set. Fucktard is just as easy to type as saint. And it is just as safe on the Internet.

It is easy to type this, "You are a lying son of a bitch fucktard, cunt and all I can say is fuck you, fuck you in the morning, fuck you in the evening as long as you are being fucked get getting fucked."

Now that was just as easy to type as, "I respect your opinion, but the reason I disagree with you is because the research I have read states that..."

Actually it is much easier to type the first sentence. It requires no research, no thinking, absolutely nothing does it take, not even bravery. But the second sentence requires thinking. It will require the research statistics promised at the end.

In the real world to tell people to fuck off may take some bravery. On the Internet, not really. I find that often it is the coward that choses to over do the "fucking" type of words to make a point.

But then in the real world there are people who are about to really lose it. I would much rather them come on here and really troll the place and possibly get banned as a result if that takes the pressure of and prevents them from getting a gun and in the end killing a bunch of people and making the national news.

If I knew that someone posting here in such hate towards me kept them from losing it in the real world, I am humble enough to be glad I was there even though it is extremely painful to read some of that stuff particularly if it is aimed at me. It is not my favorite way of giving counseling, but it sure as hell beats an emotionally stressed person killing people, or physically abusing a spouse or a child.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

Good post Freddie, I've often said it's better to have the nuts mouthing off on here than out on the streets.

 

[naughty]

I can't control what others say, but I can control what I say.

I try to live by that.

If you don't like chocolate pie, then why do you have one whole pie on your plate and you are in a race with others to see who can eat a whole chocolate pie the fastest.

I get amused watching "good contributing members" who when are face with trollish behavior directed at them then resort to see if they can out troll the real troll. After a few posts, it is impossible to see who the troll really is without going ALL THE WAY back into the thread and sometimes to other threads.

I say this because as a mod, I have been in this situation when someone reports a post. Sometimes when researching it, I find that the reported person is not the one who started it. In fact the "innocent one" resisted and posted with great character for a while and then...finally had enough.

And then the flaming war begins. What we all sometimes forget is that there is no real bravery in typing one set of characters on the keyboard and another set. Fucktard is just as easy to type as saint. And it is just as safe on the Internet.

It is easy to type this, "You are a lying son of a bitch fucktard, cunt and all I can say is fuck you, fuck you in the morning, fuck you in the evening as long as you are being fucked get getting fucked."

Now that was just as easy to type as, "I respect your opinion, but the reason I disagree with you is because the research I have read states that..."

Actually it is much easier to type the first sentence. It requires no research, no thinking, absolutely nothing does it take, not even bravery. But the second sentence requires thinking. It will require the research statistics promised at the end.

In the real world to tell people to fuck off may take some bravery. On the Internet, not really. I find that often it is the coward that choses to over do the "fucking" type of words to make a point.

But then in the real world there are people who are about to really lose it. I would much rather them come on here and really troll the place and possibly get banned as a result if that takes the pressure of and prevents them from getting a gun and in the end killing a bunch of people and making the national news.

If I knew that someone posting here in such hate towards me kept them from losing it in the real world, I am humble enough to be glad I was there even though it is extremely painful to read some of that stuff particularly if it is aimed at me. It is not my favorite way of giving counseling, but it sure as hell beats an emotionally stressed person killing people, or physically abusing a spouse or a child.

Thank you, Freddie. I think I can agree with you up to a point. I think there are individuals who live off the adrenalin rush of their anger and posting nastiness does not necessarily make their anger go away but continues to fuel it . Rageaholics are not necessarily going to be stopped from doing damage in real life by substitution in the cyber world. I fear they are probably doing both.

 

[Principessa]

Thank you, Freddie. I think I can agree with you up to a point. I think there are individuals who live off the adrenalin rush of their anger and posting nastiness does not necessarily make their anger go away but continues to fuel it . Rageaholics are not necessarily going to be stopped from doing damage in real life by substitution in the cyber world. I fear they are probably doing both.

I agree with this. Sometimes I think the people who get really angry online use the net as foreplay for real life violence.

I can't control what others say, but I can control what I say. True I have been known to forget this, but I'm getting better.

I try to live by that.
That's why we love you so. :smile:
I say this because as a mod, I have been in this situation when someone reports a post. Sometimes when researching it, I find that the reported person is not the one who started it. In fact the "innocent one" resisted and posted with great character for a while and then...finally had enough. I'm sorry to say I have been guilty of this on more than one occassion. :redface::frown1:


In the real world to tell people to fuck off may take some bravery. On the Internet, not really. I find that often it is the coward that choses to over do the "fucking" type of words to make a point. Being from New Jersey I have to admit I have often told people to "bite me" to their face. That pretty much means fuck you.:biggrin1: I say it when I am royally pissed off and cannot think of anything else to say. :redface:

But then in the real world there are people who are about to really lose it. I would much rather them come on here and really troll the place and possibly get banned as a result if that takes the pressure of and prevents them from getting a gun and in the end killing a bunch of people and making the national news.

If I knew that someone posting here in such hate towards me kept them from losing it in the real world, I am humble enough to be glad I was there even though it is extremely painful to read some of that stuff particularly if it is aimed at me. It is not my favorite way of giving counseling, but it sure as hell beats an emotionally stressed person killing people, or physically abusing a spouse or a child.

True, you make a good point. However, I am far too jaded to think that ever actually happens. :frown1:

 

[36DD]

I am sure this is not the first thread on this (nor will it be the last), but over the last 24 hours I have seen extremely rude and threatening posts made to other members of the forum. I can't speak to the reasons for them, but I can say they are definitely unneeded.

I am not going to mention anyone by name here as it is no one member, but can people at least keep the venom and blatant hate off the forum?

That is all.

I've been away from this site for awhile and that is one of the reasons. Lately, it was the 2nd anniversary of my youngest daughter's death and I have no patience for mean-spiritness, nor do I understand it.

 

[Osiris]

Freddie, I love your posts and your very thoughtful logic. Live wisely is how our family tries to go. I see you do as well.

I've been away from this site for awhile and that is one of the reasons. Lately, it was the 2nd anniversary of my youngest daughter's death and I have no patience for mean-spiritness, nor do I understand it.

You are in my prayers babe.

My mother's death anniversary is coming up and I'm already dreading it immensely.

 

[36DD]

Freddie, I love your posts and your very thoughtful logic. Live wisely is how our family tries to go. I see you do as well.



You are in my prayers babe.

My mother's death anniversary is coming up and I'm already dreading it immensely.

You are in mine as well. The dread never goes away...it is all consuming.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Thank you, Freddie. I think I can agree with you up to a point. I think there are individuals who live off the adrenalin rush of their anger and posting nastiness does not necessarily make their anger go away but continues to fuel it . Rageaholics are not necessarily going to be stopped from doing damage in real life by substitution in the cyber world. I fear they are probably doing both.

I agree in theory. I get a high from playing mind games with people. I admit, I really do. It's so fun to toy with people. I'm not a rageaholic but I will snap quickly when provoked. Then the trouble and fun starts. But I'm like that occasionally in person as well. Bad coping skills.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

I am sure this is not the first thread on this (nor will it be the last), but over the last 24 hours I have seen extremely rude and threatening posts made to other members of the forum. I can't speak to the reasons for them, but I can say they are definitely unneeded.

I am not going to mention anyone by name here as it is no one member, but can people at least keep the venom and blatant hate off the forum?

That is all.

Where are these posts you keep talking about? Am I reading all the wrong threads (which is like... 3/4 of them I don't read) But I must be missing these horribly offensive posts.

 

[Osiris]

Where are these posts you keep talking about? Am I reading all the wrong threads (which is like... 3/4 of them I don't read) But I must be missing these horribly offensive posts.

They were recent active threads and two seperate guys just random out of the blue hopped in and were saying "You are the worst poster on this forum" and the like about NJQT.

NJ? Can you link her? I forgot as they were so random, I can't remember which threads they were in.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

They were recent active threads and two seperate guys just random out of the blue hopped in and were saying "You are the worst poster on this forum" and the like about NJQT.

NJ? Can you link her? I forgot as they were so random, I can't remember which threads they were in.

Oh I thought this was about that thread where me and whatsherface had it out...

 

[Osiris]

Oh I thought this was about that thread where me and whatsherface had it out...

*Gives TK a nice warm cup of hot cocoa and a comfy blanket to get her juices flowing.*

That's what I've been trying to tell you. No one was understanding what I was referring to and everybody thought different things.

I'll make sure to use the unabridged posting method going forward. :wink:

 

[Mr. Snakey]

I am sure this is not the first thread on this (nor will it be the last), but over the last 24 hours I have seen extremely rude and threatening posts made to other members of the forum. I can't speak to the reasons for them, but I can say they are definitely unneeded.

I am not going to mention anyone by name here as it is no one member, but can people at least keep the venom and blatant hate off the forum?

That is all.

Im sorry to say the hates here to stay. This is the main and only reason many come here. One look up and down at the threads will tell the story. The attack on a female member recently was so shocking i couldnt even reply without being as vulgar as they were. Two wrongs dont make a right. The race threads tell me the K.K.K is alive and well. I have such respect for the Black members on here who allways keep their cool when hurtfull things are said. So how to stop it? Flame the hate with love? I dont know im getting a bit tired. The Decency is still alive in many as it is in you.

 

[Male Bonding etc]

I've said it before, and I will say it again. Sure, it feels good, for the moment, to give in to the urge to "flame." The problem is that it perpetuates the behavior we don't like (or at least CLAIM to dislike).

The real question is, what is the result that you want? If you truly want to see such borish behavior stop, you have to look beyond the immediate short term pleasure of blasting someone and follow Freddie's advice. It may seem counterintuitive because we think that hitting someone so hard they can't hit us back makes sense, but we also know that we rarely can actually hit someone that hard. Instead of knocking them down or knocking sense into them, they just get angrier and the conflict escalates.

Educated, intelligent, thoughtful people have to consciously overcome their emotions on occasion and behave in a "civilized" way. It can take strength, courage, and patience to ignore or persevere, but consider the result you want.

 

[Male Bonding etc]

I think there are individuals who live off the adrenalin rush of their anger and posting nastiness does not necessarily make their anger go away but continues to fuel it . Rageaholics are not necessarily going to be stopped from doing damage in real life by substitution in the cyber world. I fear they are probably doing both.

I don't doubt this at all, but fueling their rage, even if it is only on line, is not beneficial.

 

[naughty]

I don't doubt this at all, but fueling their rage, even if it is only on line, is not beneficial.

YOu will get no arguments from me on that note, Malebonding. You are the recipient of my 10,000 post. I'm glad it was in the pursuit of something positive...

 

[arliss]

As usual, your response is reasonable and well thought out. So much for starting a flamewar!

*throws halloween candy at Osiris*

Anyway, regarding Arliss, I think you're doing right thing and that PM is in general a better way to address concerns about someone's behavior on the board, but when you do that, you run into the problem where not saying anything in public is seen as tacit approval. However, you said it yourself that you'd rather deal with things in PM, and I agree that sometimes that can be more effective. The interesting thing about Arliss is that he once sent me a very nice PM (awhile back), so I can see where he's got a good side. The problem that I've seen is that people get truly hurt by some of his comments and it seems like a lot of people tolerate from him particularly that they wouldn't from others.

I saw the two threads where NJQT was attacked just yesterday I think, and I was angry myself because I consider NJQT a friend and we've had some wonderful conversations. The thing is, I just let those pass by because the guy has 3 posts under his belt and is probably a old troll trying to hurt people and stir shit. In general, she's a very well-respected poster, so I disregard what people like that say. However, in her shoes, I, too, would be hurt, and that really sucks. I would take it personally.

This wasn't what I thought you meant, though, because I hadn't seen those threads. Some posters really do rub others the wrong way and get a lot of shit and I believe they aren't trying to troll, but be genuine. I don't think that's the case for NJQT at all.

aww shucks