what happens when you have feelings for your straight best friend!!!

[joantony78]

Hey everyone, just wanted to vent out a lil bit. I just got off the phone with one of my best friends who's a straight guy and pretty much told him I have liked him more than friends for a while (i was a lil drunk) and he is completely straight so I dont stand a chance. He loves girls. It seems to me that this keeps happening to me. All my close friends are straight and at the end I fall for them. Is anybody out there with some good advice. Dunno what to do. I dont like the gay scene or bars... and I actually hate the fact that it has to be about 'gay' or 'straight' Can it ever be about a connection with someone that could develop freely into whatever it has potential a for rather than boxing ourselves into stupid labels??? Im pretty sick of this crap man and would appreciate some good advice. thanx guys.

 

[prince_will]

join the club, love.

i've been in love with the boy next door for soooo long. lol. he's one of my greatest friends, and yes, he's straight too. it would be nice to tell him about my feelings, but i know i can't, because that would totally ruin our friendship and our relationship. i guess it's just my burden to bear. the moment i get any big hint that he wants to be more than friends, i'd hop to it, but other than that, i say nothing.

i know it's difficult, and i basically have no advice about this because i'm in the same position. it's hard, i know.

 

[ActionBuddy]

This poll and the limited options it offers, are STUPID!

 

[B_Hung Jon]

i don't understand your question.

 

[Northland]

... I just got off the phone with one of my best friends who's a straight guy and pretty much told him I have liked him more than friends for a while (i was a lil drunk) and he is completely straight so I dont stand a chance. He loves girls. It seems to me that this keeps happening to me. All my close friends are straight and at the end I fall for them. Is anybody out there with some good advice. Dunno what to do. I dont like the gay scene or bars... and I actually hate the fact that it has to be about 'gay' or 'straight' Can it ever be about a connection with someone that could develop freely into whatever it has potential a for rather than boxing ourselves into stupid labels??? Im pretty sick of this crap man and would appreciate some good advice. thanx guys.

So your close friends happen to be heterosexual-what's the big deal? They are and will most likely remain sexually off limits to you. If you push too hard they will walk away-trust me on this one, I've pushed too far. Value the friendships you have and if you are meant to be in something more it will happen naturally.

 

[hotbtminla]

I don't understand the poll options at all.

 

[joantony78]

if you have feelings for ur best friend (str8) what do u do...

 

[Charles Finn]

then find some bi guys to hang out or play with
we do exist

 

[bigguyatlanta]

Well first of all you could get him drunk. Don't get him too drunk because nothing will come up.....lol.....
Idea #2: Go camping, hunting and/or another outing and after a long day offer a massage. It is fun in the woods in a tent you know.

Idea #3: You could spend a few weeks giving out hints then spring it on him......(this is not my style)

Idea #4: Have a three way with a girl and go from there.

Idea #5: Introduce him to a good looking gay guy........then see what he says afterward.......watch this......the gay guy may have him behind you back.

Idea #6: Get a gay guy to make a pass......behind you back.....then get a report about it later.

These are a few......there are others......most of these have worked for me over the years.

I was in love with a very good looking guy in college. I'll never forget him.........We were both 18.......He was blond blue eyes and a former football player while in high school. However, he wasn't the big type.....slim, trim......he was .......H O T.........H O T......H O T.....He had the greatest personallity.............I took him camping once......and the rest is history.....lol.........innocent guy he was......

 

[hockeyjock90210]

No such thing as a 100% str8 guy.

 

[cocktaste]

Hey everyone, just wanted to vent out a lil bit. I just got off the phone with one of my best friends who's a straight guy and pretty much told him I have liked him more than friends for a while (i was a lil drunk) and he is completely straight so I dont stand a chance. He loves girls. It seems to me that this keeps happening to me. All my close friends are straight and at the end I fall for them. Is anybody out there with some good advice. Dunno what to do. I dont like the gay scene or bars... and I actually hate the fact that it has to be about 'gay' or 'straight' Can it ever be about a connection with someone that could develop freely into whatever it has potential a for rather than boxing ourselves into stupid labels??? Im pretty sick of this crap man and would appreciate some good advice. thanx guys.

Wait, your profile says that your basically straight, and now you're asking questions that pertain to a person who is fully out of the closet, and gay. Are you gay, or are you still having issues with that very concept? This may lead into the other problems that you're now facing personally.

I think you need to do some soul searching, and figure out what you really want. Yes, of course you can have straight friends, but if it's becoming an issue where you're going to fall for them, you really need to get that in check. It's tough, but it's either, you figure out how to deal with it, or you just can't deal with something not able to go further. It's sort of how people feel about losing their first love, or a really passionate relationship that ends. It hurts, BADLY, but you get over it, and move on.

Now, if you see yourself as more "bi" than anything, that's fine, but forget labels, it IS important to know where you stand. This will help you in future relationships, knowing more what you want. Have you had any female relationships in the last 3 years? I think you really need to see if you're on the gay side, or mainly on the straight side. This is pure bisexuality. But even in bisexuality, you are still mainly one side or the other.

I wouldn't get too freaked out over all this, but some of the things I've pointed out, you really need to get in control, and find out where you are. It'll help you. Trust me.

 

[cocktaste]

No such thing as a 100% str8 guy.

So there's no such thing as a 100% gay guy?

 

[B_Nick4444]

If I know he' straight, and I have strong feelings, I forget about the sex

 

[B_Hung Jon]

if you have feelings for ur best friend (str8) what do u do...

If he's your best friend, then I think you should have feelings for him. It doesn't matter who he's attracted to because if you're close to him, he'll respond positively to your feelings. I'm not sure how you could have a best friend and not love him or her.

 

[joantony78]

If he's your best friend, then I think you should have feelings for him. It doesn't matter who he's attracted to because if you're close to him, he'll respond positively to your feelings. I'm not sure how you could have a best friend and not love him or her.

yeah you are right but as a guys who likes guys you know there is more than just regular 'friendship' feelings involved. Is like you want more u know?

 

[joantony78]

If he's your best friend, then I think you should have feelings for him. It doesn't matter who he's attracted to because if you're close to him, he'll respond positively to your feelings. I'm not sure how you could have a best friend and not love him or her.

If I know he' straight, and I have strong feelings, I forget about the sex

THats awesome...so, how do you forget about the sex? has this happened to to you?

 

[swimboy_14]

despite what the pron sites like to promote, gay guys do not turn str8 guys gay or bi with any sort of regularity.

 

[frogger1984]

Don't act on your feelings. I made the mistake of doing it to my best friend in college one time when we were both drunk. We are more distant now. Granted, he moved back to his hometown for a job after we graduated... We only see each other a couple times a year now when our group of friends throws a party. We don't have much to talk about anymore... I would give anything to be able to talk to him on the phone everyday like I used to.

 

[sexplease]

joantony78
Why buy a book when there are so many in the library?
Ask yourself, "am I setting myself up for disappointment?"
Perhaps you were abandoned by a parental figure during one of two formative emotional stages. (~7 & ~11)
Seeking counsel for your emotional growth will open your eyes, heart and life to allow yourself to be and find the rich and rewarding experiences towards your fellow (perhaps romantically and sexually available) choices you seek.

M*

 

[SpeedoMike]

even if he's gay... that doesn't mean you have a chance. After all, he's allowed to pick and choose for himself and you might not be it.