what happens when you have feelings for your straight best friend!!!

[Principessa]

if you have feelings for ur best friend (str8) what do u do...

Best to do nothing. Nine times out of ten you lose the friend because he gets freaked out.

First of all you are NOT 90% straight. You didn't mention ever having had feelings for a girl or having had sex with a girl; so I am gonna go out on a limb and say you are gay. I'm not offering up the possibility of bi as a possibility for you due to your strong feelings for your straight friend.

then find some bi guys to hang out or play with

we do exist

That is an excellent answer.

No such thing as a 100% str8 guy.

Bullshit! It's only gays and bi's who believe that.

If I know he' straight, and I have strong feelings, I forget about the sex

This is the only intelligent thing I have ever seen you post.

Last but not least, please ignore the advice of bigguyatlanta. He couldn't be more wrong if he tried.

 

[kelly_r_1983]

Sorry for the blunt advice, but it's this: deal with it, and keep it to yourself. It's the price you pay for living inthe mainstream world.

OK to love your straight pals -- they love you too. But even a suggestion of taking it physical or even just talking about it too much just embarasses you and them, and it won't get you anywhere.

It's really OK, and a small price to pay for being out in the great big world. Too many gay guys who can't handle it self-segregate into the gay community and blame the straights for forcing them out. Just treat your straight buddies with the same respect you ask of them, and deal with the emotions they can't reciprocate.

 

[B_Nick4444]

This is the only intelligent thing I have ever seen you post.

aw, come on!

 

[B_Nick4444]

THats awesome...so, how do you forget about the sex? has this happened to to you?

yes, quite a few times ... have a feeling I'm about to go through it again with this latest guy I finally broke the ice with today at the gym ... just like any other thing, you have to keep a stiff upper lip about it ... difficult to explain, but you just have to re-direct your feelings

 

[aborcrmbe2]

Hey everyone, just wanted to vent out a lil bit. I just got off the phone with one of my best friends who's a straight guy and pretty much told him I have liked him more than friends for a while (i was a lil drunk) and he is completely straight so I dont stand a chance. He loves girls. It seems to me that this keeps happening to me. All my close friends are straight and at the end I fall for them. Is anybody out there with some good advice. Dunno what to do. I dont like the gay scene or bars... and I actually hate the fact that it has to be about 'gay' or 'straight' Can it ever be about a connection with someone that could develop freely into whatever it has potential a for rather than boxing ourselves into stupid labels??? Im pretty sick of this crap man and would appreciate some good advice. thanx guys.

Welcome to my world. Your poll sucks but I understand what you're asking/saying/observing

Ok so I guess there IS someone on the planet that thinks like I do.

Let me get right to the point:some str8 guys are hot as hell but very difficult to fuck. Best bet: get them baked, alone and horny. A surprising number of supposedly "str8" guys have no problem with another guy doing them under the right circumstances.

 

[joantony78]

Welcome to my world. Your poll sucks but I understand what you're asking/saying/observing

Ok so I guess there IS someone on the planet that thinks like I do.

Let me get right to the point:some str8 guys are hot as hell but very difficult to fuck. Best bet: get them baked, alone and horny. A surprising number of supposedly "str8" guys have no problem with another guy doing them under the right circumstances.

haha you are right about the poll... it sucks cause I didnt know how to post one...sorry! You know.. for me i have met plenty of guys and had cool sexual experiences..some of them like a porno movie..and I guess because I've had those experiences already, Im ready for something more substantial than a fuck alone... dont get me wrong..Im always horny.. is just that my relationship with my best friend has substance already and to resume that to just a one sexual experience would be like selling my feelings short...

 

[joantony78]

yes, quite a few times ... have a feeling I'm about to go through it again with this latest guy I finally broke the ice with today at the gym ... just like any other thing, you have to keep a stiff upper lip about it ... difficult to explain, but you just have to re-direct your feelings

redirect your feelings..... that sounds like a key element but how do you redirect your feelings?

 

[B_Hung Jon]

yeah you are right but as a guys who likes guys you know there is more than just regular 'friendship' feelings involved. Is like you want more u know?

Just my opinion but I think it's important to know why you like someone. If you like them because you want to have sex with them, then you need to admit that to yourself and them. If you like them because you feel close to them emotionally then admit that too. I think a problem happens when the other guy (or girl) doesn't feel the same way back.

 

[Duro]

Or get get a shock when they do.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

redirect your feelings..... that sounds like a key element but how do you redirect your feelings?

I haven't had a lot of experiences with guys but I do know that most guys aren't super good at talking about their emotions. They'd rather things just "sort of work out". But I have discovered that I'm not attracted to peeps who don't know what they're feeling. If they can't express themselves then having sex with them is going to be problematic. If the person can't look you in the eye, doesn't want to make out with you without getting wasted, and generally isn't open to getting physically close then the whole experience is going to suck. After all a guy is a human being and wants to be treated well. If you turn the situation around a little and imagine that some other guy friend of yours who you're not attracted to starts coming on to you, what would you feel? Uncomfortable I bet.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

Im in the opposite corner here. Im straight and like my gay best friend, he's my rock, the one person who keeps me grounded, the one person who has the totally opposite taste in men that i do

 

[B_Nick4444]

redirect your feelings..... that sounds like a key element but how do you redirect your feelings?

any and all situations you are in present a range of emotions, thoughts, and reactions

I just select the appropriate ones for the result I intend

let's stick with the gym situation ... you're at a piece of equipment someone else wants to use ... you can choose to be an asshole, with a bellicose retort, or you can be polite

to take the example of the guy I finally broke the ice with, I could have grabbed at his muscular arms, chest or back, or slid my hands up and down his thighs, but I chose instead to look him in the eyes and engage him in sex-neutral conversation and questions about his training methods, and chose to enjoy his smile, voice, humour, and think about his responses ... since your concentration is going to be focusing on that, the other stuff is forced to the side or background, out of focus ... you learn to enjoy other aspects of his being

... have to admit, though, last night as I was going to sleep, and this morning as I was waking up, I was imagining what it would be like to ram my tongue down his throat, nibble and bite various areas, and grab him from behind ...

the more time I'll spend with him, pushing that stuff off to the side, the less I'll experience this, and will eventually just enjoy being around him, as a friend

 

[Rugbypup]

You act like a total cock like i did.

I got confused between having love for someone and being in love with someone, and was at the time in complete denial that i was in fact a gay.

I destroyed, without mercy, the best friendship of my life because it made sense to me, that it would hurt less to have him turn his back on me for having been a complete cunt to him, than for him to turn his back on me because i was gay.

I can never appologies for how i treated him. I was evil and im so ashamed. I destroyed our friendship beyond repair.



I miss him nearly all the time and it's been nearly 10 years. I wish i could have my friend back.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

any and all situations you are in present a range of emotions, thoughts, and reactions

I just select the appropriate ones for the result I intend

let's stick with the gym situation ... you're at a piece of equipment someone else wants to use ... you can choose to be an asshole, with a bellicose retort, or you can be polite

to take the example of the guy I finally broke the ice with, I could have grabbed at his muscular arms, chest or back, or slid my hands up and down his thighs, but I chose instead to look him in the eyes and engage him in sex-neutral conversation and questions about his training methods, and chose to enjoy his smile, voice, humour, and think about his responses ... since your concentration is going to be focusing on that, the other stuff is forced to the side or background, out of focus ... you learn to enjoy other aspects of his being

... have to admit, though, last night as I was going to sleep, and this morning as I was waking up, I was imagining what it would be like to ram my tongue down his throat, nibble and bite various areas, and grab him from behind ...

the more time I'll spend with him, pushing that stuff off to the side, the less I'll experience this, and will eventually just enjoy being around him, as a friend

I think this is good advice except that I can't always choose my emotions or reactions. With me the feelings just sort of pop out. If I like a particular person I'd just go up to him or her & start talking with them. I mean I don't know how to pretend that I'm not interested. I always smile at peeps I like so there's no confusion about what I'm feeling. I guess you could say I'm unguarded which can cause some confusion for me or the other person.
:biggrin1:

 

[digbychris]

feeling them up whilst asleep is a bad idea. Perhaps illegal, as well.

 

[BlackIsKingSize]

The best thing you can do is "try" to scale your feelings down to the just friends level. It might not work, once you fall for somebody you tend to stay fallen. Especially when you don't get the chance to act on it, it gets this whole fantasy/unattainable quality. Second thing to do is try to make some gay friends. Don't think of it as limiting yourself (you should still have your straight friends). But think of it this way, if you were the only single person hanging out with all couples you'd stay single for a long time because everybody you know is already taken. Same situation except your friends are off the market for a different reason.

 

[B_Monster]

..

 

[joantony78]

cool advice everybody. Thanks!! Just a lil update....
2 nights ago me n my best friend went out to a bar and then as we were hanging out i told him that I liked him and that i had for a while. (He knew I liked guys by the way) I also told him because we were sooo close, it was hard for me to separate my romantic interest for him from my friendship interest. I told him I needed a break...just a lil time on my own. It hurt at the beginning but i think I made the right choice. He said that if thats what i needed to do then so be it.. That was the night b4 valentines.... the next morning I get a text saying :happy Valentines. from him. I think we are gonna be cool after all. I guess I still feel like there is that chance..but Im trying to not think about that..its hard u know..

 

[B_Nick4444]

..its hard u know..

yes, very hard, sometimes very painful

 

[B_cigarbabe]

if you have feelings for ur best friend (str8) what do u do...

Usually,Not a damn thing!
Why ruin a great friendship? Perhaps they want to see, what sex is like, as a one time only, experience with you.
No matter how much you desire him/her, it will eventually,destroy the relationship.
This has been my experience,when I let myself think,and indulge in this.
Oh sure! we could handle,all the different aspects of turning a long time friend,into a lover, and it wouldn't mess things up.
Wrong!
cigarbabe:saevil: