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Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dolfette, Jun 19, 2010.
the title says it all really.
My last relationship went on for nine (almost ten) years, though it really should have ended after the first four. The reasons were complex, much like the relationship itself, but in the end it can be boiled down to this: I felt a greater responsibility to him than to myself.
funny how that works, and how often it's abused.
instinct, manipulation or a society created guilt trip?
Actually, it was all three: a perfect storm of guilt.
Fear of being alone.
so what was the turning point?
i guess that's pretty straight forward...
was there a lack of confidence you could find someone better, or just a general fear?
dividing up the CD collection would have been a bitch. and i was worried she'd vent her fury on my car.
the bad portion of the relationship lasted as long as it took me to get an enclosed parking spot and my nick cave CDs back.
i seem to attract the stalker/othello types..i am awesome at the break up. brutal with the break up. i just can't get the disposed of individual to leave me alone.. long after i have broken up and gone on with life, the crazy bastards keep calling me.. pestering.... causing drama for the friends circle and my sleep patterns. (why do stalkers love calling when they know you are a sleep? fuckers :irked
is not an issue of me being so awesome :redface: i just scream "dysfunctional upbringing".. so crazy bastards assume i'll put up with heaps of bullshit.
Lack of self-confidence (glad I got over that one)
My last 8 year fiasco should have ended damn near before it began! Love and caring creeped in to blind me to reality. Even though I worked hard to try and make it a real relationship, the other person did not seem to care and was afraid because of the issues already listed and we grew further and further apart. As soon as I realized I had fell into a Fear of Abandonment, I confronted it and got the hell out. Unfortunately, the last few years I was putting myself through needless hell but I am now a much more aware and a better person to myself and others because I had the guts to call it quits.
He was very controlling and violent.
Feel very silly now for putting up with it for so long.
Much better now tho, am doing my own thing and am back to my old happy self!
i used to get that in my teens.
these days they just make a token effort.
you've made me wonder once more if the flowers i keep getting are from an ex...
good for you!
Fear, self-doubt, guilt over leaving him and right now I'm putting my fathers future on the line to stay where I am alittle longer
I am glad to say, i haven't stayed long in a bad relationship.
It's not really my style, i must say i have experienced that i realized that it was bad with some delay a couple of times, but we are talking rather small time frames here, a couple of weeks, maybe a month or two at tops.
The flipside is, i haven't stayed that long in any relationship. Always ended it because i felt it wasn't exactly what i was looking for, so maybe i am not the best person to give an answer here.
hmm the crazy-coke-head-ex was a toxic side effect of a my teen years.
the stalker-asshole is a product of my last year of teenage.
so there is a tiny bit of hope this kinda drama might be a passing trend?
creepy Ex presents.. eewww. all evil and manipulative and an attempt to obligate.
i am distrustful of strangers bearing gifts.. see the above. and check the vase for hidden cameras or microphones. :smile:
might not be an ex though.
might be someone who knows little enough about me to like me, but enough about me not to tell me.
Fear, being trapped, guilt, placing faith that it was just a rough patch, misplaced sense of responsibility.
Never move for someone else.
The last 5 years of a 12 yr marriage for many reasons.
First, I believed that marriage was a lifetime commitment. I believed and still believe that there were/are no issues that can't be worked out if both paties want to.
I also did not want my kids to go through the pain of a divorce. I would go through hell for the rest of my life to keep them from experiencing any hurt.