What I Was Dealt With

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Martin van Burden, Mar 20, 2005.

  1. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    I did an interview recently for this guy wanting to write an exhibitionist-sorta article talking, rather frankly, about dick size and life experiences. It was a great hour and some odd conversation over a variety of topics, and it was a good interview because he kept up his end of the conversation as much as I did. I wasn't really worried about disclosing because -- at the very most -- it's just my dick in a picture.

    But the interviewer asked me if my dick has been problematic for me in the bedroom as far as the ladies go, and I had to whoop and holler because he hit it dead on. Of course it has been an issue... a big one. I'm not super experienced with women or anything, but the ladies I have had have been unable or unwilling to brave what I got in the pants. At first it used to really piss me off because... several reasons, really. Before I was "aware" of my size, I thought girls weren't really interested in me, and that's a hard blow for an insecure teenager to take. And now that I'm fairly confident in my appearance, I... let's see... how to keep the thoughts coherent...

    Alright, well. I wasn't really into sport fucking girls in college. I like to flirt and meet up and talk, but I certainly don't post notches on the headboard and go out for the sole purpose of banging. In this day and age with STDs and all that stuff, you can never be too careful, right? And I don't think I'm ridiculously picky with women; at the same time, I've seen more than enough bar bimboes to suit me fine. I guess it's my fault. I'm expecting to find a reasonably attractive and intelligent to share some brews with. Have met one that sticks out in my mind. Just one. And we didn't hook up.

    And I'm 25 now and I can be pretty honest in admitting that I find some dudes physically attractive and just leaving it at that. There's not much of an emotional connection. I can think of a handful of guys I'm close to -- I can hug 'em if I take off -- and that's just a function of our friendship. We're close; we get along. Other than that, I might notice a guy if he's got a good build... and in the right setting -- the gym -- me, like most other dudes, will wonder what's in the briefs. But that's it. It's not much deeper than that.

    And I can accept with some resignation that dudes are just gonna be better and more available for a blowjob than a lady. I can admit it's a lot easier to just scout for some head than to go through all the paces of drink-buying and tomfoolishness to woo a woman. Not that I don't think I could without doing that, but it can be a bit of a pain, and when the dick is up, it's yelling for attention. And I don't follow this impulse all that time -- just occasionally.

    And dare I say it, sometimes I wonder that if I (1) weren't so big and (2) guys weren't so accessible and (3) I had a little more patience, would my thoughts and feelings turn out differently? I'd like to think that being relatively lax about this kinda thing is just my personality and not necessarily my sexuality. At the same time, girls have typically been more of a problem than a sexual blessing -- and after enough time, you wonder how much it weighs on you. While I can jokingly say that I'd make a decent gay guy, it's just not how I swing emotionally and psychosocially. And if I were just into getting nailed... well... I should be a gay guy. Easy access.

    Just thinkin' aloud.
     
  2. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Well ,

    Thanks for sharing that, Dee. I hope all of the guys who are upset and angry about not being bigger read this post.This is what LPSG is really for the reality not the mythology.I have said on numerous occasions that large sizes have a visual appeal and hold a certain fascination, but just as there are very few large men on average there are probably equal numbers of women who in reality can not take a large man. In spite of all of the bravado and drama,there truly can be too much of a good thing. Now, I am not saying that with a bit of creativity and patience things can't be worked out to a certain degree, but it is more than a notion.


    naughty
     
  3. B_HungSpermBoy

    B_HungSpermBoy New Member

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    Wow Deeblackthorne,pretty amazing thread. Dude, this is something I haven't thought about before. I've always had girlfriends, and have been involved sexually with them. My dick size hasn't been a big problem for me & the girls I've been with. I've had to be real patient with my present girlfriend. For me it's more than just the oral sex or whatever. The sex part is just part of our relationship. I love being with her & kissing her & holding hands & just hanging out in bed together. I don't think too much about getting a certain kind of sex. I just do what comes naturally. To me I think I get a little more mellow in terms of my sex drive when I'm with her. I'm getting some emotional support or my needs met, so my sexual side is more laid back. Does this make any sense to anyone??
     
  4. Max

    Max New Member

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    Dee

    It was good to read that ... it all rings very true to my own experience, and it is a long way from the idea that extra size is always a good thing. Beyond a certain point, it most obviously isn't.

    Just one observation: dealing with size in the context of a casual encounter, or because of the curiosity of people who've heard of your reputation ... is one thing. Dealing with it in the context of a committed relationship where the two of you have every intention of making it last is another. Then you have all the time in the world, no pressure, and eventually after a lot of patience the possibility of making your assets work for you instead of against you ... big time. No woman who really falls for you is going to let a few extra inches B) come between the two of you. It only needs one.

    All this is obvious, I know, but maybe it needs restating from time to time.
     
  5. B_8strong8long

    B_8strong8long New Member

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    Hey Dee, great post and I had a great time talking with you (yes I'm the interviewer... everyone send me a PM if you'd like to participate there's still time). I think that guys in general, those not overly endowed like us LPSGers, don't realize that it's a double-edged sword. It isn't a perfect thing, it may be beautiful in ways but like naughty said, there can be too much of a good thing. Now, there are all kinds of solutions and workarounds, and in my research guys, trust me I've found that there are worst size related hardships that men can be faced with than the problems that typically bother large guys. But still our problems are real, women are sometimes fearful, sex can be painful for our partners, it may be difficult to get and keep erections, etc, and the list doesn’t end there, there are real hurdles.

    I was lucky enough to meet a wonderful woman pretty early in life, and we faced the challenges, (sex being uncomfortable during deep penetration, erections taking a long time to build) together. We have absolutely fantastic sex, I don't generally dive to 100% depth, as even after 11 years it's still uncomfortable, but I want for nothing and I dare say she is fully satisfied.

    To Dee's philosophical trinity I think that anyone having had repeated bad experiences with sex and women might feel the same way. I know that most of us on this site have asked #1 at some point. C'mon guys, we like how cool it looks to be big, but even if only for a passing moment sometimes it gets in the way and we have to wonder if smaller would be better. #2 is just a general truth. Guys like big penises, it isn't necessarily even sexual in every case, we just identify with the visuals of it. #3, yes patience is more than a virtue, it is key in this situation as there are just going to be times when having a big one causes some trouble sexually.

    That said Dee, I think the bigger question is do you like the way things are going overall or do you feel like something is missing? If something is missing then the hard part is to zero in on exactly what it is and then to get it.
     
  6. madame_zora

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    Dee, this is an amazing post, and I think it gets to the heart of what lpsg is all about. Anyone who is truly large has experienced the things you speak of, or they simply have not encountered many women! For most women, you can in fact have too much of a good thing. Even those who claim to be size queens or size capable will have their limits, and often far smaller than average men would like to believe. One needs only look at the small number of female participants on this site to realise that.

    I have long wondered about exactly what you said, if more large guys turned to men primarily because of the difficulties in finding women who were willing and able. I know that feeling gay and engaging in sex with men can be two different things, and I am overjoyed that you shared this honest post with us. I think women in general can be a pain in the ass when it comes to sex, I'm actually surprised more men (regardless of size) don't site reasons like yours for preferring male sex. Men give better head and generally don't require you to spend a sufficient amount of money on them before they'll agree to have sex with you. We women are bitching ourselves right out of a good thing!

    Dee, you are so young and so incredibly beautiful, whoever ends up with you as a partner will be a very lucky soul indeed. I can only imagine how wonderful it would be to wake up and see that pretty face on the pillow next to me. Given time, you will find someone who feels that way about you and will find your extra blessing to be just that.

    Thanks for telling it like it really is, guy. After so much talk about "I GOT BIG PEE-PEE" on this site, I'm glad to see us communicating about what really matters. Much love, Jana
     
  7. prepstudinsc

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    Dee and I talked about this subject at length (pardon the pun) yesterday. Being a little older than he is, I have some other issues that I face that add pressure to the getting married situation--family legacy, etc.--but the physical problems are the same. It's nice to see, however, that some other young guys don't just screw for fun, using girls and tossing them aside. I always felt that I was odd for feeling like a person had some worth and that I didn't want to just screw around for the sake of screwing. When I am in a relationship that I am committed to, then I'll have sex, but one night stands are not something that I'm about.

    That said, I've found that being big is more of a hindrance that it is a benefit. Yeah it's cool to be able to say I'm hung, it looks good when I take off my pants, but when it comes time to actually use it, it's almost more work than it's worth. The girls in my age range are the party hoes who have never been married and are still bimbos after all this time, or who are back for a second time around, after getting married early, now being divorcd, and having missed out on some fun times. I want someone who's got some class and not interested in just partying--those people all seem to be in relationships or married, however. Are my standards just set so high?

    I've found that the times I've fooled around with guys, it's easier and just physical, but there was no emotion involved. It was as if I could distance myself from the whole experience. Guys seem to view a big dick as a challenge, while girls view it as a turn off. Maybe I've just met the wrong girls.

    The whole thing gets so complicated and I don't think that there is an easy answer--that is IF there IS an answer. Having a big dick is a blessing and a curse at the same time. We just have issues that other people can't even begin to comprehend.
     
  8. Steve26

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    EXCELLENT points regarding size, Dee, and Max, and prepstud, and everyone else. As I often say, to anyone here who will listen: If being hung were an entirely awesome experience, would we really have any need for a Large Penis SUPPORT Group??

    Being well-endowed is at best a double-edged sword, and anyone who doesn't realize this or acknowledge it ... well, let's just say that I usually figure they don't have any firsthand experience backing up their stories. ;)

    For me, the very clearest sign that anyone here is not being totally honest is when they claim to be very well-endowed and act as if it's all a bed of roses. ("Yeah man, I fucked three chicks with my 11-incher this weekend, and they all loved it!! I love the stares at my bulge when I walk down the street! My boner tore through my pants in front of 50 people -- it was great!!") That's not experience speaking; that's someone's porn-based fantasy of what life with a huge dick MIGHT be like.

    Steve ;)
     
  9. B_hungrick

    B_hungrick New Member

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    I think I've talked with Dee but to be honest I'm not completely sure,but I've seen his posts on this site. I think this one is the most intriguing and honest.

    The woman I'm involved with now posted my naked photo on another site which started my recent sexual evolution. I'm not exactly sure why. I found out that I got aroused when other people,women or men, found my body & dick sexually and visionally attractive. So I discovered my exhibitionist side. At times this feels like a two-edged sword also. I want to be a well rounded human being & not some narcisistic asshole,BUT I enjoy the hell out of looking at myself and being looked at by other people! What I'm saying is that having a large dick has been generally ok for me but I also realize that the women in my life liked me before they ever saw me naked. I never had that much sexual fun doing the one-night stand thing BTW. So I think that Dee's issues are just like my exhibitionist tendencies. Dealing with having a big dick is a process just like learning how to integrate being a show-off into my regular life is. I've been learning how to deal with my dick & with how my partners can enjoy it & not hurt them or myself in the process.

    Another thing. Because of my exhibitionism, I'm able to look at other guy's bodies with more appreciation now. I think in the past, I reacted negatively,thinking that it was a "gay" thing. Apologies to the gay & bisexual guys here.

    Thanks to Dee for the enlightening post.

    Rick
     
  10. jay_too

    jay_too New Member

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    Dee..

    Yeah, size has been a two edged sword in my life. Before I started settling down a couple of years ago, I had more than my share of disappointments with chicks who wanted a serious date with a hung dude. Yea, they loved the stripping and the touching; but when it came to being intimate, they thought it was time to bail out. I felt used and abused; particularly so when on the next day I heard that she had told everyone [well, almost everyone] about donkey dick.

    Interestingly enough though, I am surprised at the number that begged for a second chance within a couple of weeks. I guess curiosity and mental acceptance of a big dick are as important as lube and lots of foreplay. This is not expressed very well but maybe on a second reading you will get the content.

    Some have turned me down on vaginal sex but were fascinated by touch, the feel, and look. They intended only a hand job or a bj, but when they got into it, they went all the way. :p The mind is a wonderous and horny organ.

    What I am saying is that: While NO means NO! Curiosity often means "Oh, why not!"

    jay
     
  11. FrankPipeliner

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    dee, i suppose there's some truth to youthful difficulties with sex, nevertheless i got along just fine. maybe you're still too young. i'd give the interview lad a different perspective about life with a big dick. while i don't believe i fall into steve's facetious caricature (i'll deal with him later), i am one to stand up and say i'm very comfortable with myself, the size of my dick and my lifestyle. i enjoy women and they enjoy me (dick and all).... i'm sorry life and circumstances have been tough on you but look forward to the rest of your life. go out and find pleasure because pleasure won't come to you.
     
  12. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Well, I don't feel like my sexual shortcomings are very indictative of the growth and comfort I have with myself on my own terms. In the same vein, while it's definitely more frustrating to have women feel totally unprepared and unwilling to wrangle down with the beast in my pants, some part of me finds a real ego boost in me. The hesitation, albeit aggravating, is more telling of my lacking inadequacy in size -- an affirmation the good lot of guys would kill for, you see. Like I mentioned, but maybe not as specifically, I knew I measured between 7 and 7.5 in high school and I STILL worried about where I fit on the dick size curve, you see. Even after realizing that the average hovers around 6", I was STILL insecure.

    Know that I really appreciate a lot of sympathy that my musings have generated. Don't worry. I'm not beating myself up over something I couldn't control -- my dick size. It was just on my mind, and I felt like LPSG was a damn good place to disclose.

    Among those sympathies, I found Zora's to be the most... I dunno... telling. What I mean is, she really hit on a crux that I have had to rationalize and sort out in my head. Some guys are slutty, and like Prep said, they appreciate the challenge of a big dick -- a challenge that most women won't take. I'm truly glad for the Sperm Boys and the Pipeliners of the world who have been graciously blessed with women who readily take on the challenge in their pants. And, statistically, I figure that, albeit rather rare, there HAS to be SOME woman out there who's engineered to take me on.

    And that's my problem. I can rationalize this issue in a drastically different way than I can emotionally. Heh. Honestly, I'm really proud of my rationality because it takes an incredibly rare breed of heterosexual man to feel comfortable enough disclosing homosexual attractions, while realizing, ultimately, that these physical attractions are but a wisp of the attraction I feel toward women. Similarly, I drank a few beers with a good buddy of mine in my grad program. We spit at each other all the time; our friendship is founded upon picking on each other, and yet we have a healthy level of respect and liking for one another. And as a good girl friend of mine -- the girl of my threesome -- gave me a smooch on the cheek, I jokingly gestured toward him and he did it too.

    Maybe that's my crux.

    A really good friend of mine suggested that, as we age, our conceptions of sexuality seriously change up quite a bit. Maybe I'm ahead of my time, but I feel comfortable acknowledging that I'm straight -- which holds true for me emotionally -- and yet being able to dance along the continuum on my own will. Maybe that's the Dionysian in me. Greek mythology, in some sense, might suggest that the God of Wine was, in fact, the epitome of bisexuality. His charms could arouse... I don't know... lacking inhibition in anyone.

    C'mon. It's strangely funny how many of my male friends I've kissed in college -- on the lips -- and, on just a few, some tongue. ("Guys Gone Wild," I assure you.)

    I grin as I think of the danger and charm I have wielded, and that gives me a sickeningly strong dose of power that, if I weren't up in my years and a little more aware of, I could really run away with. And I test it sometimes. I test situations. I get a little reckless sometimes, and I don't regret it. My cham hasn't got me into too much trouble.

    This isn't just about my frustration about women.

    Ah, what I would give for a brave girl. What I would give for an accommodating girl. A brave, accommodating girl would be the be-all, end-all of some of my sexual dissatisfactions. Not that being deprived of this woman makes me less of a feeling individual. I'm capable -- more than, really. I realize that I'm still young and that I'm not quite in a place where I can really express that intimacy. Perhaps that's a precursor for marriage. Cool. Well... um... nope, not quite ready for that. Capable, but not ready.

    And still a bit frustrated: Where's that girl who can wrangle my dick down, again?

    But that's not the end-all, my fellow LPSGers.

    And in the end, maybe I'm feeling like Rick's got the right idea. For sure, enjoying, accepting, and understanding a big dick is as much as a process as anything else. It takes time. It's not just an instant "in" with women, and it definitely requires patience, diligence, and... er, responsibility. At the same time, maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way. I see my big dick as a bit of an inconvenience, but as Prep and I openly discussed, I wouldn't ever, ever, ever trade it for anything less. It's gotten in the way, but I don't feel like my dick has ever held me back from being who I am... in the total sense. In fact, it has granted me the exhibitionistic tendency which has ultimately given me a lot more security. I feel good about being who I am. I'm proud of what I got. I can pull my pants down and shake my dick about and feel okay about it.

    And extended in other ways, I can get comfortable with my male friends in a way that would make your average, non-Dee, straight dude shudder in discomfort. Nope. Wound up, I'm not. Just a little frustrated in some respects, no worries.

    "No woman is going to let a few inches come between you and her." You're a hoot, Max.

    Thanks for the thoughtful replies, gang. I'm glad I could get this off my chest, however nonsensical and erratic it may seem on screen.
     
  13. madame_zora

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    Dee, I can assure you that all of us here are very happy that you've unleashed the exhibitionist inside- your pics are hot as fuck! Ahem. Here's the thing about women, they're as full of shit as men, just in a different way. Just like so many men who will lie about their dick size until it comes down to the moment of truth, women will lie about their abilities to sound impressive, ie. "I'll give you the best blowjob you've ever had" when her actual experience may be very limited.

    Statistically, there are as few women with deeper vagina depths as there are men with "biggie size" penises. While this doesn't automatically mean they can't have satisfying sex with you, it certainly does mean it will take some extra effort, patience, compromise and the like. Here's the really exciting part, men can just look at their dick and see what size it is, but a woman will usually never know her depth until she is with a man who's size reaches or exceeds her limit. Cruel trick of fate. So, if she's only had a couple experiences and one guy told her he was 10", she thinks she's the shit! Then when she sees YOUR real 9'' in her face, she drops dead of a heart attack. You might do better with older women if you just want that "ease in" feeling, or you just might get lucky and find a goodhearted girl who finds your whole self so intriguing that she's willing to get into it. I haven't been your age for a long time, but I'm not blind- I can only imagine you get plenty of attention around the Uni. Oh yeah, and guys who are comfortable enough to kiss other guys are the absolute best!

    Of course, I (being the asshole that I am) posted an ad on a dating site for well hung guys, maybe you could try that as well ("Well hung guy looking for girls who like a challenge"). I figured I'd try everything until something worked, and voila! that's the thing that worked for me.

    Good luck with all and keep us informed, Jana
     
  14. Lex

    Lex
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    These types of posts are truly what LPSG is all about. I obviously agree with Dee, Steve and Jana (and when DON'T I?!?). While I have never encountered a woman who would not try to enjoy all of me, I have encountered many who would only do certain things becasue of my size. Not many women want a a penis our size up this ass while, as Dee said, many guys are certainly up for the challenge. And I have found that guys do give better head--hey, they HAVE a penis and hence know better how to PLAY with it.

    I was talking to a close friend yesterday. Older, closetly repessed with homosexual urges and tendencies, married with 2 kids and miserable. Horrible esteem issues. He's 5'9, 230, buzzed and bearded. I shared my sexuality with him and then he opened up to me about his own inner emotions. I told him--dude--there is a whole world of men who think Bear Daddies like your are the epitiome of manhood and sexiness!

    And I say to all those who endlessly try to enlarge to mammoth sizes exactly what I said to him: Until you can look in the miror and truly say and mean--I love me--all of me--physically and emotionally--until you love the person you pretend to be for the world AND the person you are when you are all alone--you will never be happy.

    I once had the most horrible esteem issues--I was this skinny, nerdy kid who just didn't fit in. No one seemed to like me on any level (friend, partner, etc). I had these thoughts that I was raised to believe were sinful and abominable. I got caught looking at a guys cock and my cousing punished me by abusing me. I hated myself. I was miserable and for 30some years, I thought I had to live that way. Now I see that I don't.

    Accepting yourself is the first step toward true, inner happiness. The hardest thing in life is to want what you have.

    Dee, I commend your honesty and your openess. Thanks SO much for sharing such personal thoughts. I certainly feel better for having read them.

    Lex
     
  15. Imported

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    orionsword57:
    There has been some really powerful stuff on this thread! There is hope for an old phoof like me to break through the last of his boundaries.
     
  16. Dr Rock

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    hey!! I DID fuck three chicks with my 11-incher last weekend, AND I'm pretty sure they all loved it!

    ... okay, granted I knew all of them beforehand ...

    ... yeah and okay, two of them have been living with me for several months anyway ...

    ... and I suppose it's true that for every girl who can enjoy sex with me, there are probably half a dozen who can't or won't ...

    ... what the hell, my bed of roses is full of fucking thorns!
     
  17. bigtwin

    bigtwin Member

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    I've read many of your posts DB but never picked up on the level of sensitivity and angst you expressed here. I must have been blind and for that am sorry. I know you're not looking for sympathy.

    I can tell you that I, too, went through some pains of being an over-endowed male including those regarding compatibility with women. At one point I became rather depressed and withdrew myself from any involvement with girls that could become physical. I was in college and in my early 20's at the time. Relationships with men were not an option for me.

    I always credit my wife, or rather the girl who became my wife, for being my salvation. I don't know if there is anything special about here vagina-wise; I doubt it given the difficulty we had early on. I thank her for her patience, for her love of me as a person and her willingness to accept me as who I am. We worked it out.
     
  18. B_hungrick

    B_hungrick New Member

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    Bigtwin, you said it perfectly & beautifully. Thanks!!
     
  19. jonb

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    My momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You open it up and someone's taken a bite out of every damn one.
     
  20. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    And where were you going with that one, Forrest?
     
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