What if? - The question we all ask.

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by OhWiseOne, May 16, 2011.

  1. OhWiseOne

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    As you look back at your life and choices that you have made how many times have you said, "what if?".

    What if I had:

    Turned right instead of left

    Said yes instead no ( or the other way around)

    Made that move to another town

    Went out on that date

    Taken that other job

    Given my kids better advice and guidance

    I don't believe there is a right or wrong answer to this question only the one that makes since to each individual.
    Do you ever think if you had made the other choice that your life would have been better or worse?
     
  2. nudeyorker

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    My grandmother told me something when I was very young and it has always stuck with me. :"What ifs do not matter... what is... is."
    I think it's a futile exercise to indulge in this kind of fantasy. I can say with one exception I have made the best possible choices available to me at the time. In in the case of the one exception it would not have changed the outcome but rather the way I view it.
    If I had not made the journey exactly as I had I would not be where I am and who I am today... I'm very happy with who I am and where I am.
     
  3. ManlyBanisters

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    Honestly? No. I don't.

    'What if?' is as pointless a question as 'Why?'.

    Occasionally I do find myself 'what-iffing' and I make myself stop. It can do me no good whatsoever.

    If I make a mistake that I recognise as a mistake I do my best to learn from it and not repeat it - that is the best I can do by myself and those around me.
     
  4. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Live forward. Recriminations are an exercise in self-pity.
     
  5. nudeyorker

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    If you want to indulge in a little harmless fantasy read the book Pretty Little Mistakes by Heather McElhatton It gives you the chance to go back in the book and make a different choice and see the consequences, it's light and fairly entertaining.
     
  6. MickeyLee

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    is best to avoid falling into love with the rearview mirror.

    would have, could have, should have... will kill any joy you find in the now.


    eta: is maybe an escape from making choices that'll change the now and later?
    is bad.
     
  7. OhWiseOne

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    I agree with what you are saying. I ask the question sometimes when I am trying to learn and make future decisions.
     
  8. OhWiseOne

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    Sounds interesting I will have to check it out.
     
  9. Joll

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    ^This. Wish your Gran had told me earlier. :mad:

    I think it's ok to assess things to see where you could do better in similar situations, but the problem comes when you dwell too much on regrets, which focus on the problem rather than the solution.

    Your idea of asking 'What if?' before a decision is much better. If you're on the verge of taking a decision, and perhaps getting cold feet and wondering if it'll go wrong, well, 'What if it goes well?', 'What if it's exactly the step you've been waiting for?'.

    I've made a lot of shit decisions in the past (and currently lol) with pretty dire consequences, all you can do really is learn what you can from them, then work out how to improve the situation you now find yourself in.
     
  10. OhWiseOne

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    Grandma's are the best aren't they.
     
  11. D_Relentless Original

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    I don't have many 'What Ifs' that I bother about too much with regret. Having been involved in quite a few situations that I did not need, and a tendancy to pick crappy nasty partners (which I never learn from) I get into thinking What if I had not got involved and followed my gut feeling which has always been good. And the real love of my life I said goodbye to many years ago because of their drug problem, I wonder what if, if I would have stayed the course.
     
  12. D_Bob_Crotchitch

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    What if I had made two investments my gut told me to make. I could retire, and not be in constant pain. I could send hickboy to swim with the sharks. I mean dolphins. Yea dolphins that's it.
     
  13. luka82

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    I never do a *what if*. It requires too much thinking.
     
  14. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Yeah, dolphins, ya crosseyed buttmonkey.
     
  15. D_Bob_Crotchitch

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    What are you doing looking at that pair of crossed eyes I have tattooed on my butt?
     
  16. luka82

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    Hot! :smile:
     
  17. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Trying to figure out if you're Ben Turpin reincarnated.
     
  18. OhWiseOne

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    Thats my point. Even though it was the love of your life "what if" you had stayed. I think you have the answer though.
     
  19. OhWiseOne

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    you are a nut... :)
     
  20. B_Hickboy

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