what if your dad was bi or gay and was married to your mom

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by coolduder, Jan 30, 2012.

  1. coolduder

    coolduder New Member

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    How would you feel if your dad was bi or gay on the down low but never said a word to you or family. How would you feel? But you later on got suspicious about him.
     
  2. B_Nia88

    B_Nia88 New Member

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    devastated because he is cheating on my mom.
     
  3. coolduder

    coolduder New Member

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    Well there are dads like this out there.
     
  4. B_Nia88

    B_Nia88 New Member

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    what there are fathers that cheat? lol
     
    #4 B_Nia88, Jan 30, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2012
  5. dolfette

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    being bi or gay does not automatically mean he's going to cheat. that's a pretty homophobic assumption.

    if my mother was content (and she hates sex, so no sex would be fine) then, as long as his ehaviour towards us was proper, it would't bother me a jot.

    if he was actually cheating on her then it would make no difference whether it was with a man or a woman. a cheat is a cheat is a cheat.

    there are plenty of straight cheats out there.
     
    #5 dolfette, Jan 30, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2012
  6. D_Phil_Doneafew

    D_Phil_Doneafew Account Disabled

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    I personally would be shocked. LOL. When my dad and I drove cross country earlier this year he slept in his clothes on top of the linens when we had to share a bed. Hell when we were rebuilding a motor last summer his hand slipped and caught his knuckles on a sharp edge and he muttered "cock sucker" and became really quiet and his face became flushed, just because I was standing there. So to think he would be bi/gay would be far fetched. However Idk if my parents are very happy together. But it is ok because he is cool with me being gay.
     
  7. hud01

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    troll
     
  8. coolduder

    coolduder New Member

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    We all have secrets. Just saying
     
  9. B_Nia88

    B_Nia88 New Member

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    What is your point to this question coolduder?
     
  10. Sir

    Sir Member

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    It would explain a lot.
     
  11. v32bone

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    if I was a little kid and didn't know anything about sexuality and parenting nd all, I would probably be devastated. But I think it depends on wat kind of a home you are brought up in, whether there and open line of communiction between you and your parents and if there hasn't been a lot of homophobic comments circulating around you ll of your life. DIVORCE AND CHEATING AND EVEN JUST ARGUING ARE ALL VERY DIFFICULT ON KIDS no matter the reasons or the orientation. As an adult or post teen, I'd hope I would love my parents enough to accept their differences and if they had an open situation or we even just open enough to discuss it I would try to find a way to accept however they decided to live. All speculation though. Emotions and family are always a knotty subject in real situations.
     
  12. D_ShlongJohnSilver

    D_ShlongJohnSilver Account Disabled

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    I would just be glad they had me first.
     
  13. D_22

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    I would be SHOCKED!!!
     
  14. coveryerteeth

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    I hope like Hell, for his sake, that he's not. My dad is exactly the type that would resign himself to a life of quiet desperation, sacrificing his own happiness just to fulfill what he considers to be his "obligations."
     
  15. kloffus2000

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    Coveryerteeth, that is or was my situation.
    I am a married bi with a grown up son. I love my wife though now she is old and disabled and I must and will take care of her. For most of my married life I have suppressed my gay side except for secretly buying gay mags. However for the past 7 years or so I have been able to express, and perhaps indulge, my gay side on the internet, virtually. I have made many friends and even , last year met one for sex. It was marvellous.
    I have kept all this activity secret from my wife as far as possible. She knows that I do write to some friends on the internet who are gay but nothing of what I say. This is how it must stay because to be open would destroy her and our rmarriage. She is too old and needy to stand that. My son has no notion and I often wonder what his reaction would be if he found out. He is a well educated and liberal minded man with a ( female ) partner but I do not know what effect it would have on him (or indeed on her) if he learnt about his dad's homosexual activites. Any one here experienced that first hand? It is a worry to me.
     
  16. dong-in-khakis

    dong-in-khakis New Member

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    I imagine all kids of either bi or gay parents would be shocked to find out. If your suspicion is in fact true, take some comfort in knowing that every day that passes bisexual and gay men marry women most likely because they want to do "the right thing".

    Also, seriously, I hope you realize that most men and women are to some extent bisexual, whether they are living it out or not. Many who are bi and gay identify as straight because they choose to live a straight lifestyle. Some bi and gay people living as straight even bash gays, I imagine becasue they are so afraid of it.

    There are plenty of straight people in the world, but percentage wise not many.

    It's true.
     
  17. kloffus2000

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    I whoilly agree with dong-in-khakis. He is right in everything he says in my view.
    4I hope my son and his parnter never do discover my gay side but if, they ever do I just hope they can handle it without being too traumatized. I have often heard of guys who, afteer screwing up their courage, have "come-out" only to discover that their friends reaction is " Oh - well we always sort of knew or guessed that about you anyway." and the friendship has continued undisturbed by what had been, up till then, 'a dreadful secret' in the mind of the formerly "closet" gay.
    I could imagine my son and his GF reacting like this to someone else's confession.However probably the "coming -out gay's" situation is a bit more complicated is "the friends" in question are also his own children.
    Some seem unphased by such revelations. The children of the late Sir Michael Redgrave I suppose accepted their father's homosexual affairs but perhaps it was the case that these had all happened when he was a very young man and before his marriage to their mother.
     
  18. madman411

    madman411 Member

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    A few years back my (second) Uncle decided to come out after years of being married. He had two grown sons who I haven't seen in years. He has recently remarried to a guy half his age. My family didn't take it well and many refused to go to his wedding.
     
  19. MarkLondon

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    It could be less worse than your dad leaving your mum for another woman. He might not even need to leave...
     
  20. DV8

    DV8
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    Personally, it wouldn't surprise me. Then again, I'm the child of a gay parent (rest his soul). I found out about my dad being gay after he passed- when I came out of the closet. What needs to be understood is that you don't have to go into great detail about your sexual activities. I know that my mother has sex, but I don't want the details, just like she knows that I engage in sexual behavior (and she knows about my dick being pierced because of some pictures being sent to her accidentally, but whatever).

    I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that you never know how people are going to take such information. And by not divulging that information, not only are you saying "well, it's none of their business," but you're also saying that you don't trust them with that information. If they're angry or don't respond as well as you hope, it's not necessarily because they think ill of you. It could just be because of the "lie" you've lived or the perception you've given them. If anything, you're proving that we never truly know people, and you should always be able to be open and honest with people.

    And if you're married, or in a relationship and your spouse doesn't know, then of course they're going to be upset- they've been with you and they automatically assume that there's a shit-load of information about yourself that you've kept from them. So feel free to be open and honest, because if that's your great secret, you'll never feel as if you have to hide anything from those you love ever again.

    Just my two cents.
     
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