Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
When I was younger I paid close attention to what people said and little attention to what they did. Now I do exactly the opposite because I learn much more about people when I examine their actions. Some say one thing but do another and in those cases their actions tell you what they're thinking despite what they say.
I disagree.
One of the hardest things for people to do is to truly comprehend that other people do not always see nor react to the world in the same way they do.
You interpret the 'actions' of others based upon some theory you form of why someone would do the action you observe... but all you are going to come up with is what motivation would make YOU do the same thing.
For example, You see someone do something that you would only do if you were trying to manipulate someone... and so you judge the person's actions to be manipulative.
You dismiss their explanation of their actions because you really believe they could only act that way for the reasons you might act that way...
So you have in one stroke determined that this person is manipulative , AND a liar.
But what if they are telling the truth? What if they truly are not being manipulative? what if they have an entirely different world view that you do and act out of entirely different motives?
Then all your 'theories' of them are wrong.
I lost a marriage to the fact that my exwife imagined me a villian...
But she only imagines me a villian because she did not believe what I told her about my perspective and the reasons for my actions.
I find people most often accuse you of the very things they are, themselves, most guilty of.