What is Homophobia - A little Clarification

[B_jeepguy2]

Homophobia, is when a person has sexual feelings for the same sex, and it completely scares the shit out of them so the way they make up for the fact that they are insecure in their own sexuality is by hating people who openly express feelings for members of their own sex. Before I came to terms with my sexual attraction to men I was one of the BIGGEST homophobes out there. Now if i hear a guy talking about how bad he hates fags or queers, I go BINGO that dude has some issues of his own. LOL

 

[Snakebyte]

Snakbyte.... your gay friend disgust in pussy is what i refer to as heterophobia and as i mentioned in another post i personally think its a revolting as homophobia..... it my belief that this response is an affectation by some members of gay society that believe it is fair and equal to treat heterosexuality with the same kind of revulsion homosexuality is faced with.......

As i have said twice before.... Revulsion is a mechanism of hate..... and yes it is homophobic to be revolted by homosexual acts......

So why does the official definition of the word homophobia says something different. I still disagree with you. How the hell is me being disgusted by two men having sex something hateful? It's the same with birth, I am disgusted by the act of birth. Now I hate pregnant women too, right?
Sorry but as good as your thread started... now it's going ad absurdum.

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

If someone believes that the actual act of being gay is wrong and disgusting then there's nothing wrong with that because that's their opinion, and everyone is entitled to one. I don't believe being against homosexuality is a bad thing nor does it mean you are homophobic.

OK so presumably then you think it's OK for people to think Black people are inferior and should be treated as second class citizens ? Or perhaps you also believe that it's OK for people to believe that Jews are sub-human and that they should be exterminated ? You'd presumably also think that these people weren't Racist or Anti-Semitic ? People are not entitled to bear the kind of hatred you describe towards other human beings purely on the basis that everyone is entitled to their opinion.

I believe homophobia is when you go to their house and kill them or attack them just because they are gay, or if you treat them differently such as not serving them in a queue, or disowning someone because they are gay etc.

Presumably someone would only do these things if they believed homosexuals to be "wrong and disgusting" no ? Homophobic actions do not occur in the absence of homophobic thoughts, therefore the root of homophobia is how people think. This means that homophobic thinking is in fact even more dangerous and potent and needs to be combated even more strenuously than homophobic actions, since without the "opinions" these actions never would have happened.

 

[chevy28360]

I get where you are coming from Rowan and Hilaire. As a Native American in a very backwards/conservative town, I've dealt with racism and backhanded ideology for the better part of my life. But I simply don't agree with the idea that if you don't particularly want to see two guys making out, that this alone makes you homophobic. I don't want to see hetero's making out either. Holding hands, hugging, and kisses on the cheek, these are all acceptable displays of affection in public. But making out, in most people's mind, is an egregious precursor to sex. And whether it is a straight, or gay couple, no one wants to see you out in public getting all 'private time' on eachother. For most people, it is less about the fact that you are gay or straight and groping eachother in public, and more about the fact that you freaking groping eachother in public. It's just indecent, and blatantly uncourteous. Like not putting on your turning signal when you change lanes. Or getting in the 15 item line with what is obviously 50+ items. It's the disregard for everyone else that is off-putting. Again, pecks on the cheeks or lips, hugging, holding hands, all these are things no one in particular cares about. But any couple, straight or not, that is sucking eachothers faces like the freakin cure for cancer is in there is going to get noses turned up at them. I don't like categorizing words like Homophobic expressly because of things like this. It bunches people up into either A. or B. Which is completely moronic. You can't shove the entire range of human emotion and experience into slot one or slot two. There are definitely people in the world who 'hate' the gay populace, and you are right to call them out for their intolerance. But to shove every person who simply doesn't 'like' watching two people make out in public a whateveraphob is ironically close-minded.

 

[heist]

I think maybe what Rowan is addressing would be better explained by adding in a passion/dispassion spectrum. One opposite of homophobia would be something like "homophilia" (like holding homosexuality as the ideal or whatever). A different opposite of homophobia is simply not caring (dispassion), in the sense that to be classically homophobic you have to have negative emotions about it.

 

[B_RedDude]

Changing the underlying thinking might be very difficult when people believe that their thinking is based on some immutable religious truth.

Does the basis of homophobia differ in Europe or other places from that in the U.S.? (where one might think perhaps of fundamentalist Christians and their underlying and strongly held beliefs)

Presumably someone would only do these things if they believed homosexuals to be "wrong and disgusting" no ? Homophobic actions do not occur in the absence of homophobic thoughts, therefore the root of homophobia is how people think. This means that homophobic thinking is in fact even more dangerous and potent and needs to be combated even more strenuously than homophobic actions, since without the "opinions" these actions never would have happened.

 

[D_Engaria Wideplough]

i think homophobic people are gay people in the closet. I have friends and family members that just hate gay people. I think they hate gay people cos they dont have the balls to be themselfs on this homophobic society

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

I've said it a brazillion times on this site. It's self-loathing.

 

[B_RedDude]

In each and every case, without exception?

Seems to be too dogmatic and simplistic. Perhaps further explanation is in order.

I've said it a brazillion times on this site. It's self-loathing.

 

[B_lrgeggs]

i think homophobic people are gay people in the closet. I have friends and family members that just hate gay people. I think they hate gay people cos they dont have the balls to be themselfs on this homophobic society

Monster,

I can understand being self-loathing. Most people want to get married and have children. (Let's face it...that how most of us got here and that's what society teaches) So of course, it's only natural for a person to blame themselves for being gay.


The problem with being gay is that their is no regulation to it.
A guy can have as much sex with as many partners as possible.
Now some might not have a problem with that...but there are things
called STD's and that can cause a lot of problems. That's why I think
gay marraige is a good idea.

With a hetrosexual society. We have a long held tradition of
marraige, family etc that keeps things in check. Sure there are
swingers etc...but that's pretty much a small minority...namely
me and a few others :biggrin1:

PS: Monster---nice cock by the way...

 

[Sergeant_Torpedo]

Well, Rowan I am relieved to know that on your erudite criteria I am not homophobic. Bad behaviour either from a str8 or gay man is not acceptable, but I have experienced rudeness from people who then hide behind some imaginary warrant card that proclaims I am allowed to be so and if you don't like it then you are prejudiced. This I witness from none too bright overly zealous police officers, and sadly some gay men and women. It doesn't make me homophobic but it surely does make me wish we were all held to account for being rude.

 

[rundry]

So many things are wrong with your argument. Being in diagreement with anything doesn't make one phobic. Maybe
you should look at you own phobic fears againts those
who may disagree with you. There are some aspects of the gay life style that I don't like, but that doesn't make me homophobic.
I know no one here personally, but in all cases I respect you all. They tag you, you tag them.....

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

Changing the underlying thinking might be very difficult when people believe that their thinking is based on some immutable religious truth.

Does the basis of homophobia differ in Europe or other places from that in the U.S.? (where one might think perhaps of fundamentalist Christians and their underlying and strongly held beliefs)

I'm not sure that fundamentalist christians have a monopoly on extreme homophobia, but there are fundamentalist christians of various kinds in Europe too. Around 1500-2000 years of christian cultural domination of europe will have played its part in developing homophobic ideas here too, and it's worth remembering that for most of that period of time the christianity was unchallenged and as fundamentalist as it gets.

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

In each and every case, without exception?

Seems to be too dogmatic and simplistic. Perhaps further explanation is in order.

I'm talking about extreme cases. Interactionalist sociologists believe in the contact hypothesis, where people who are exposed to a certain race are less likely to be afraid of that race. I am inclined to agree from personal experience alone. I believe that people are naturually afraid of things that are unfamiliar to them, and fear is often manifested as hate. For example, when somebody says, "I hate heights," or ,"I hate the spiders," what they are really saying is that they are afraid.

Extreme fear can cause extreme hate, but where does extreme fear come from? I don't believe that it comes from lack of contact. I think that it goes much deeper.

Of "John Smith" gets a baseball bat and gets into his truck and goes out and bashes a homosexual's head in, where is the motivation? This is inconsistant with the contact theory. In my opionion, John Smith is gay and is projecting; not only is he strongly denying his own homosexuality, but when he sees homosexuality in others, his anger is strong enough to motivate him to assault them--risking his own bodily harm (if the victim fights back) and a prison sentence. That's very powerful motivation, but then, fear is the greatest motivator.

 

[Rowan Ravenseed]

So many things are wrong with your argument. Being in diagreement with anything doesn't make one phobic. Maybe
you should look at you own phobic fears againts those
who may disagree with you. There are some aspects of the gay life style that I don't like, but that doesn't make me homophobic.
I know no one here personally, but in all cases I respect you all. They tag you, you tag them.....

I think some clarification is needed here...... when talking about a persons lifestyle there are many factors involved so to clearly define homophobia you need to define certain things....

You said being in disagreement with anything doesn't make you homophobic.... your right....... however.

Disagreeing with some-one's lifestyle "becuase" they are gay IS homophobia and it IS discrimination

It would be the same as me saying "I don't like you because your straight"

On the other hand if you were to disagree with some-one's lifestyle because they were promiscuous.... and it just happened to be they were gay as well then that's Discrimination but it isn't homophobia because your prejudice is based on their promiscuity not on their sexual preference.

I've seen a couple of posts on here from people trying to defend what they know inside themselves is intolerance.

That is my point.... the majority of people will do what they can to defend their ignorance their intolerance and their reasoning for de-humanising those that are different from themselves.

So let me say this.... Yes you allowed to be homophobic if you want to be, yes your allowed to be racist if you want to be......yes your allowed to be a misogynist if you want to be...... no-one in this world has the right to tell you how to think.....

But we can ask you..... we can ask you to put yourself in the shoes of gay people and consider how they feel every time they have to listen to people talk about gay sex as though its an aberration....

we can ask you to think about the growing youth as they come into a society questioning their sexuality only to hear people running around using "your so gay" as a common insult

we can ask you to be a little more aware of your mind set towards homosexuality and your own tolerance levels

and we can ask you to help us fight ignorance by constantly questioning your own feelings regarding gay rights