What is it with women??????

[helgaleena]

Here's what women of the FUTURE want!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNeAmvWliHs

 

[Ethyl]

For how many years?

1997 Chevrolet Lumina - Blow job every day for 2 months.
2001 Audi A6 - Missionary every day for 3 years. Doggy style on Sundays.
Lamborghini Reventon - Tantric sex for life.

 

[Hardballin]

Oh come now, the gist of your post is "I do my bit, she lives a good life from the sweat of my brow, she used to be filthy, now she's frigid, etc etc, she got what she wanted now I want what's mine". What you don't indicate is what emotional and interpersonal intimacy you share and develop with your partner, in what ways you treasure and nuture the sexual and emotional aspects of your relationship. Instead you talk about all the things you buy her.

What you're now saying is not quite the same as your OP.

you are not getting the point... he is saying that he does all of this because he loves her and is SHOWING it... to her, she is basically "i love you, i will tell you, but i wont show you" how is that a life? i feel bad for him, if she loves him, she should have NO PROBLEM doing what he just said.. you don't get it, until you experience it.

 

[D_Yorick Yankwilly]

1997 Chevrolet Lumina - Blow job every day for 2 months.
2001 Audi A6 - Missionary every day for 3 years. Doggy style on Sundays.
Lamborghini Reventon - Tantric sex for life.

.. Time to really start saving my pennies.. :biggrin1:

 

[SandraSmithCarver]

Hello,

Speaking from personal experience, and from countless friend's complaints, I make the following observation.

When you first meet a women, and she is trying to become your one and only, she kisses you all the time, holds your hand, infrequently criticizes you, the sex is frequent, adventurous and crazy. It stays this way while the relationship progresses from casual dating towards what most women want, a committed, monogamous life together. This is when things typically get all screwed up...
Next thing you know going out to dinner, vacations, parties, socializing, shopping, the house, the yard and all of life's small trivialities become more and more time consuming and important. The man finds himself being critiqued and ignored. And then, before you realize it, that adventurous, experimental, continually horny girl you fell for ceases to exist.

This has happened with EVERY one of my buddies. When first dating they would be getting laid in the car, at the gym, blowjobs everywhere, anal sex, bondage, etc, etc, etc. 8 years later the woman, in most cases, "isn't into that anymore"

I am going through this myself, being the last of my friends to settle down (I'm not married). Most of my friends have accepted this but I will not. I just had a conversation with my girlfriend because for the past six months she thinks I will happily exist with sex twice a month and the occasional blowjob. I continually try, with voice messages, emails, dinners, etc to keep the spark alive. She is trying to convince me that nothing has changed. But, luckily, I have videos of what we USED to do. I watch them and wanted to show her but she refuses to watch. I just told her this morning, after coming home from a trip without her to another dissappointing, lackluster welcome home, that I will no longer make the effort to keep the spark alive. I told her that after months of working at trying to motivate her I feel lousy because she is always tired, has a headache or a stomach ache. I feel rejected and humiliated, and it is only natural that when another woman shows me that she finds me desirable, I will respond. Just as a note: I have not gained any weight, I work out and stay fit, I don't lay around the house watching tv, I keep life fun and active. I am a successful professional and we spend our time together doing a variety of interesting activities.

I think the problem is that some women use sex to get what they want out of a man financially. I have a child with my girlfriend, I bought her a house and a car, and pay for everything. Her lifestyle is completely reliant upon my finances. Now, she has become accustomed to the life that years ago was only a dream for her (vacation home, boat, cars, country clubs) I only want what we had in the bedroom, I have always been kinky, she used to love it. I refuse to change and told her if she thinks that now I will accept this boring routine sex life she is sadly mistaken. Even though she tells me I'm wrong, I can tell that she is no longer into having sex with me, but if she admits this, and thereby ends the relationship, she will no longer reap the financial rewards of being with me.

This dynamic is why most of the married men I know that were very sexually active before they were married now have a girl on the side, the wife is the domestic partner and "mommy", the fwb provides the erotic component of life. The wives in these married couples try to keep the man faithful through detective work, and let themselves fall apart physically while they spend their days shopping and lunching. The men know they can, with a little discretion, get away with it because wifey is more concerned with maintaining her lifestyle and doesn't mind if hubby doesn't have sex with her. Hell, I know a few married couples in their forties that sleep in separate beds, mom sleeps with the kids, dad in the spare room. No plans to divorce, no sex either, Pathetic!

RANT FINISHED!
(PS I know that sometimes (infrequently) the roles are reversed)

She sounds kinda, depressed? Lackadasiacal? You guys need to get in to counseling, cuz there are LOTS of women that would be thrilled to have fun with you, and I would be one them!!!!Give her an ultamatum, when your ready to MEAN it!!!! And follow through with it! I know from experience, it does change when the kiddos come on the scene, they become your world, sorry it's the truth! A date a week is agood, but counseling is better! just sayin

 

[Hardballin]

this post, are you still around robnyc, what is the update? what she is doing is wrong, you are very right... what is the point if she is lackluster.

my girlfriend is like this right now, not sure what to do! i give give give, don't get get get... its starting to take a toll on me.

 

[Luvhmlrg]

How old is she? is she on Birth Control Pills? How old is your daughter?
A women's body goes through so many physical and mental changes when she is pregnant. They recently admitted that the pill can decrease the "sex" hormones and having a young child can be leading to fatigue. She should consider having her hormones checked (by a doctor who knows about who understands that Bio Identical HRT)
That being said, sex is a major part of any relationship and both partners need to make it a priority. It should never be used to gain something (other than pleasure ;} ) or withheld as punishment. Because you have a child together, I hope that you can find answers/resolutions that take you back to the sex you crave.

 

[petite]

They recently admitted that the pill can decrease the "sex" hormones and having a young child can be leading to fatigue.

I can't believe I've never bothered to Google this information before, but my own personal experience with hormonal birth control confirms those studies. I found this interesting article that talks about a few of the studies. The one with the female chimpanzees is fascinating.

The Libido Killer - msnbc tv - The Ed Show - msnbc.com

I knew immediately after I began the pill that it was affecting my sex drive, so it didn't take months for it to affect me or for me to notice. I hated it. I've called it "chemical castration" a few times. The effect of the hormonal birth control was directly related to the amount of hormones used by the method. The best one I used was NuvaRing, because it was the lowest dose method I used, much lower than any oral birth control pills.

Good catch for you to mention the birth control possibility!

 

[haulthat]

Its hard to keep the new car smell going. Once you have been around the block with someone it takes a lot to stay interested. This isn't just women though, it is mutual, and sometimes even more so the men. My friend bitched to me because when she would try to make things interesting in the bedroom he would just want to lay on his back and let her ride it out of him, instead of hammering it out in all the positions that they used to. When you are starting a new relationship its always more exciting, the grass is 100% greener on the other side, but both of you have things to prove and don't have the comfort that the other person will stick around through thick and thin out of love.
I'm gay, not the flaming kind either don't cut hair or go shopping with chicks, but I think your trying to point the finger at the wifey way too much. It goes both ways. If a man is really a man he can sweep her off her feet and fuck the shit out of her spontaneously out of the blue if he is really motivated to. How much of it is him loosing interest? How much of it is him not being as exciting as he used to be? Everyone has to work at it. That part can be fun if its done right, a disaster if its not, and painful if you avoid it altogether. New is always better if its good, but by definition nothing stays new. You either build on other shit, or keep chasing something that cant really exist. Hot, healthy couples can blow the just met ones out of the water every time. They have had time to get bored with the same old shit, and work on some hardcore fucking in the bedroom that it takes time to master.

Hello,

Speaking from personal experience, and from countless friend's complaints, I make the following observation.

When you first meet a women, and she is trying to become your one and only, she kisses you all the time, holds your hand, infrequently criticizes you, the sex is frequent, adventurous and crazy. It stays this way while the relationship progresses from casual dating towards what most women want, a committed, monogamous life together. This is when things typically get all screwed up...
Next thing you know going out to dinner, vacations, parties, socializing, shopping, the house, the yard and all of life's small trivialities become more and more time consuming and important. The man finds himself being critiqued and ignored. And then, before you realize it, that adventurous, experimental, continually horny girl you fell for ceases to exist.

This has happened with EVERY one of my buddies. When first dating they would be getting laid in the car, at the gym, blowjobs everywhere, anal sex, bondage, etc, etc, etc. 8 years later the woman, in most cases, "isn't into that anymore"

I am going through this myself, being the last of my friends to settle down (I'm not married). Most of my friends have accepted this but I will not. I just had a conversation with my girlfriend because for the past six months she thinks I will happily exist with sex twice a month and the occasional blowjob. I continually try, with voice messages, emails, dinners, etc to keep the spark alive. She is trying to convince me that nothing has changed. But, luckily, I have videos of what we USED to do. I watch them and wanted to show her but she refuses to watch. I just told her this morning, after coming home from a trip without her to another dissappointing, lackluster welcome home, that I will no longer make the effort to keep the spark alive. I told her that after months of working at trying to motivate her I feel lousy because she is always tired, has a headache or a stomach ache. I feel rejected and humiliated, and it is only natural that when another woman shows me that she finds me desirable, I will respond. Just as a note: I have not gained any weight, I work out and stay fit, I don't lay around the house watching tv, I keep life fun and active. I am a successful professional and we spend our time together doing a variety of interesting activities.

I think the problem is that some women use sex to get what they want out of a man financially. I have a child with my girlfriend, I bought her a house and a car, and pay for everything. Her lifestyle is completely reliant upon my finances. Now, she has become accustomed to the life that years ago was only a dream for her (vacation home, boat, cars, country clubs) I only want what we had in the bedroom, I have always been kinky, she used to love it. I refuse to change and told her if she thinks that now I will accept this boring routine sex life she is sadly mistaken. Even though she tells me I'm wrong, I can tell that she is no longer into having sex with me, but if she admits this, and thereby ends the relationship, she will no longer reap the financial rewards of being with me.

This dynamic is why most of the married men I know that were very sexually active before they were married now have a girl on the side, the wife is the domestic partner and "mommy", the fwb provides the erotic component of life. The wives in these married couples try to keep the man faithful through detective work, and let themselves fall apart physically while they spend their days shopping and lunching. The men know they can, with a little discretion, get away with it because wifey is more concerned with maintaining her lifestyle and doesn't mind if hubby doesn't have sex with her. Hell, I know a few married couples in their forties that sleep in separate beds, mom sleeps with the kids, dad in the spare room. No plans to divorce, no sex either, Pathetic!

RANT FINISHED!
(PS I know that sometimes (infrequently) the roles are reversed)

 

[haulthat]

Anti-depressants do the same shit and half the country takes those. Never factored in substances killing the drive. Way to go scientific.

I can't believe I've never bothered to Google this information before, but my own personal experience with hormonal birth control confirms those studies. I found this interesting article that talks about a few of the studies. The one with the female chimpanzees is fascinating.

The Libido Killer - msnbc tv - The Ed Show - msnbc.com

I knew immediately after I began the pill that it was affecting my sex drive, so it didn't take months for it to affect me or for me to notice. I hated it. I've called it "chemical castration" a few times. The effect of the hormonal birth control was directly related to the amount of hormones used by the method. The best one I used was NuvaRing, because it was the lowest dose method I used, much lower than any oral birth control pills.

Good catch for you to mention the birth control possibility!

 

[sexplease]

it's called nesting.
Humans are animals and have similar characteristics with many, if not most of the male/female animals on earth.
men: fight (to win trophies -food,shelter etc.) to assure, or buy, something to fuck.
women: nurture and pass on communication skills.
not a judgment or set in stone for all, but a gross generalization for humans.
often, once people are assured of permanence in coupling, they let themselves go.
no more make-up, hair-do's, exercising, or wooing necessary.

 

[helgaleena]

you are not getting the point... he is saying that he does all of this because he loves her and is SHOWING it... to her, she is basically "i love you, i will tell you, but i wont show you" how is that a life? i feel bad for him, if she loves him, she should have NO PROBLEM doing what he just said.. you don't get it, until you experience it.

You and hilaire missed an important point-- she's got a job too. If they did split, she'd have a way to live.