To me Male Boding is the close personal relationship between two guys. It is the shared insight into what makes each of them tick. It can take many different physical forms ranging from typical macho stuff to sexual intimacy. The presence or absence of certain shared activities in no way takes away from the strength of the bond.
What is male bonding?
- Thread starter BIGdkluver
- Start date
Straight answer:
I have a male friend that I grew up with although he is a few years younger than me. He has other friends and I have other friends but the two of us would consider each other best friends. Several things have occured over the years that brought us to this point. Those things are what I would call male bonding. He was in a major accident when he was younger and almost lost his life. I helped him out whenever I could during this time. Whenever I need help with a project, he is there by my side. I was the best man at his wedding. We have been through the worst of times together and the best of times together. The guy is like a younger brother to me. All that said, I have never had a sexual thought about him. To me, it would be strange to have a sexual thought about my brother (incest) and it is the same with this guy.
I have a male friend that I grew up with although he is a few years younger than me. He has other friends and I have other friends but the two of us would consider each other best friends. Several things have occured over the years that brought us to this point. Those things are what I would call male bonding. He was in a major accident when he was younger and almost lost his life. I helped him out whenever I could during this time. Whenever I need help with a project, he is there by my side. I was the best man at his wedding. We have been through the worst of times together and the best of times together. The guy is like a younger brother to me. All that said, I have never had a sexual thought about him. To me, it would be strange to have a sexual thought about my brother (incest) and it is the same with this guy.
Male Bonding etc
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I used to have close male friends but they seem to have deserted me. Since the back injury 2 years ago, I can't do a lot of the stuff we used to do. I think it sucks that they kind of dumped me. I hope their balls hurt all night tonight. :tongue:
Simplicity does not do a question like this justice. I think my bonding experiences have different levels, such as friends, family members and life idols.
In the area I think you are groping for, it had to do with my best friend growing up. We had many levels of bonding that led us down so many different paths. We competed in everything from games, swimming to HS sports. We also could talk about anything, and do anything in front of each other. Now it is the same old competition, fishing, running, wahtever. He beat me to the alter, but I was not trying hard.
That takes a give and take trust and deep feelings. Yes I can say I loved him then and I love him now, with that I love his wife and baby boy. There is nothing in our lives we cannot share with each other, and when their intimacy is the question I am the only guy he can detail it to, and get feedback. We did have experimental incidents growing up, but we more because we trusted each other. Mainly whip it out get it off and put it away is where I feel the bond started that led to us discussing intimate secrets and fantasy.
So from best buddy, best man, the best friend, yeah it takes effort, but if honesty, caring, and sincere love are what you are made if it develops before you.
In the area I think you are groping for, it had to do with my best friend growing up. We had many levels of bonding that led us down so many different paths. We competed in everything from games, swimming to HS sports. We also could talk about anything, and do anything in front of each other. Now it is the same old competition, fishing, running, wahtever. He beat me to the alter, but I was not trying hard.
That takes a give and take trust and deep feelings. Yes I can say I loved him then and I love him now, with that I love his wife and baby boy. There is nothing in our lives we cannot share with each other, and when their intimacy is the question I am the only guy he can detail it to, and get feedback. We did have experimental incidents growing up, but we more because we trusted each other. Mainly whip it out get it off and put it away is where I feel the bond started that led to us discussing intimate secrets and fantasy.
So from best buddy, best man, the best friend, yeah it takes effort, but if honesty, caring, and sincere love are what you are made if it develops before you.
D_Rod Staffinbone
Account Disabled
when you squirt superglue and "zipkick" (superglue accelerator) under
a guy friend's shoes without him knowing. that is male bonding.
really it is.
a guy friend's shoes without him knowing. that is male bonding.
really it is.
You captured it pretty well. It never has to have the teen wank stuff tho.
For me the ultimate male bonding is to be lovers with another guy. Not necessarily in the same way you may be lovers with a woman. You don't have to butt fuck each other to be close and caring, but I think it demands some physical intimacy... like hugging or sitting close to each other. Even though I'm new to this stuff I know when I love and care for someone, whatever their gender.
Male bonding is when you know your male friend has seen you at your worst and still likes you.
Male bonding is standing in a group, sweating, at the end of the fifth 3-hour soccer practice that week, your breath causing a fog in the October late-night air under the orange stadium lights, knowing you've never hurt like this before, and neither has anyone else on the team.
Male bonding is being able to be emotionally intimate with another man, boldly, innocently, no-holds-barred, no barriers in the way.
Male bonding can be the level of intimacy that is beyond words--a shared sense of being guys, together, so close that you can't tell which is your body and your personality and which is his.
NCbear (who has rarely experienced this feeling, which makes it truly difficult to describe)
Male bonding is standing in a group, sweating, at the end of the fifth 3-hour soccer practice that week, your breath causing a fog in the October late-night air under the orange stadium lights, knowing you've never hurt like this before, and neither has anyone else on the team.
Male bonding is being able to be emotionally intimate with another man, boldly, innocently, no-holds-barred, no barriers in the way.
Male bonding can be the level of intimacy that is beyond words--a shared sense of being guys, together, so close that you can't tell which is your body and your personality and which is his.
NCbear (who has rarely experienced this feeling, which makes it truly difficult to describe)
Beauxbatons
Experimental Member
It's a very interesting question...
From a historical perspective, we know that "male bonding" has existed, in some form or another, since the beginning of time (or at least the beginning of recorded history). In the artwork and literature of virtually every civilization that we have discovered, the virtues of male-male relationships (not necessarily homoerotic or sexual relationships, although a good deal of them were) are extolled, expounded upon, even idealized/idolized. The ancient Greeks, for example, believed strongly in men cultivating intense relationships with other men... so much so that young men were often pressured into having sex with either their peers or, more commonly, with respected older men of the society.
Along that line, it is quite interesting to me that couple of you have mentioned "Platonic" relationships. In ancient Greece, sexual tension between the student and the teacher (who were both always male) was viewed not only as acceptable, but as a necessary component of the educational system. It was Plato who first explored this concept in his writing; he came to the conclusion that the highest ideal of any teacher and student should be to be consumed with sexual desire for one another--to be consumed, but not to act upon it. With the desires thus frustrated, Plato believed that the sexual energies of both teacher and student could be diverted into their studies and lessons, thus strengthening whatever was being taught. It is fascinating to me how the meaning of a Platonic relationship (and yes, it does get its name from Plato) has changed from the thwarted sexual desire of a teacher and pupil to an absence of sexual desire between two friends. But I digress.
Although the Greeks are perhaps the most well-documented on the subject of male bonding, they are by no means the only one. Numerous cultures, both ancient and modern, abound with examples. If anything, the rampant homophobia of the last hundred or so years has done much to discourage what seems to be the natural, normal act of forming intense emotional connections between two male friends.
And I completely agree with HungJon--physical intimacy is key. We can't escape our primate nature, after all. If you think about it, I'm sure most of you will realize that men will always find some way to touch one another--if not in open displays of affection (e.g. hugs, physical proximity), then in veiled ways--rough-housing, horse-play, monkey-business--call it what you will. The truth will out. I mean, why do you think the ancient Greeks were so fond of wrestling?
From a historical perspective, we know that "male bonding" has existed, in some form or another, since the beginning of time (or at least the beginning of recorded history). In the artwork and literature of virtually every civilization that we have discovered, the virtues of male-male relationships (not necessarily homoerotic or sexual relationships, although a good deal of them were) are extolled, expounded upon, even idealized/idolized. The ancient Greeks, for example, believed strongly in men cultivating intense relationships with other men... so much so that young men were often pressured into having sex with either their peers or, more commonly, with respected older men of the society.
Along that line, it is quite interesting to me that couple of you have mentioned "Platonic" relationships. In ancient Greece, sexual tension between the student and the teacher (who were both always male) was viewed not only as acceptable, but as a necessary component of the educational system. It was Plato who first explored this concept in his writing; he came to the conclusion that the highest ideal of any teacher and student should be to be consumed with sexual desire for one another--to be consumed, but not to act upon it. With the desires thus frustrated, Plato believed that the sexual energies of both teacher and student could be diverted into their studies and lessons, thus strengthening whatever was being taught. It is fascinating to me how the meaning of a Platonic relationship (and yes, it does get its name from Plato) has changed from the thwarted sexual desire of a teacher and pupil to an absence of sexual desire between two friends. But I digress.
Although the Greeks are perhaps the most well-documented on the subject of male bonding, they are by no means the only one. Numerous cultures, both ancient and modern, abound with examples. If anything, the rampant homophobia of the last hundred or so years has done much to discourage what seems to be the natural, normal act of forming intense emotional connections between two male friends.
And I completely agree with HungJon--physical intimacy is key. We can't escape our primate nature, after all. If you think about it, I'm sure most of you will realize that men will always find some way to touch one another--if not in open displays of affection (e.g. hugs, physical proximity), then in veiled ways--rough-housing, horse-play, monkey-business--call it what you will. The truth will out. I mean, why do you think the ancient Greeks were so fond of wrestling?
B_Artful Dodger
Experimental Member
Just having fun together in whatever form is considered fun by the males in question.
For me its having a drink, playing sport, watching sport, and talking (mostly about girls and sport) haha
For me its having a drink, playing sport, watching sport, and talking (mostly about girls and sport) haha
PiercedAndFit
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It seems to me finding another male or group of males around whom I can be myself, express "unacceptable" thoughts, explore new ideas, try different things, and so on is where and when male bonding occurs, particularly if there is a kind rivalry rather than a strife filled competition. Having men who encourage and challenge me encourages me to bond.
If find fewer and fewer opportunities in the United States with our male=female approach to so many things. I actually join a fraternity only to learn we were co-ed...talk about a damper. Co-ed sports are killing the spirit of the games: no matter who 'good' a girl is defeating her just never feels the same; what man is willing to admit a woman was better than him?
I think men bond best in a stressful, difficult, even dire situation like a war or catastrophe. It is good to know whom we can trust and be trusted by. I served on a coed ship in the USN...there was no way to bond with women around, especially when they were on the look out for 'discriminatory' behavior. Treating women like one of the guy's was a short walk to Captain's Mast or a Court's Martial; even males who are mortal enemies do not regard one another with that kind of contempt.
If find fewer and fewer opportunities in the United States with our male=female approach to so many things. I actually join a fraternity only to learn we were co-ed...talk about a damper. Co-ed sports are killing the spirit of the games: no matter who 'good' a girl is defeating her just never feels the same; what man is willing to admit a woman was better than him?
I think men bond best in a stressful, difficult, even dire situation like a war or catastrophe. It is good to know whom we can trust and be trusted by. I served on a coed ship in the USN...there was no way to bond with women around, especially when they were on the look out for 'discriminatory' behavior. Treating women like one of the guy's was a short walk to Captain's Mast or a Court's Martial; even males who are mortal enemies do not regard one another with that kind of contempt.
For me, the ultimate male bonding experience is to be together for a weekend with "no holds barred" in some sort of outdoor situation. In my case, a buddy and I went camping and explored every imaginable topic together, cooked meals, laughed, joked around, got sweaty, and yes, had some new adventures in our tent.
I concur with PiercedAndFit that encouragement and challenge are the kickstarting points to a real male bonding experience.
I concur with PiercedAndFit that encouragement and challenge are the kickstarting points to a real male bonding experience.
I want to reiterate a fact. Male bonding can be in different ways.
You can divide this into straight bonding.
Then, straight but curious and bi and gay bonding.
Each group can follow their rules.
Straight bonding guys don't have to go sexual ever. They can enjoy trips, parties, movies, talks, dinners and sports.
Straight curious can enjoy all the above and nudity together or hugging and sleeping.
Bi and gay bonding can have straights too enjoy nude parties and are ok with erections.
But beyond that sleeping, none sexual nude hugs nude baths nude socialisation and nude sleeping can be none sexual, too.
Even masturbation in nude groups is fine.
Next is the total sexual bonding with guys of all sexualities alongside none sexual activities.
If each group follows the rules then male bonding can develop.
In sexual bonding their can be exclusive groups with disease free healthy men who can maintain the group for decades.
If men can become organized and supportive of other men friends then men can live a beautiful life. Again sex or no sex are strict rules that can nurture kindness and love between men.
Wish me can create such mb.
You can divide this into straight bonding.
Then, straight but curious and bi and gay bonding.
Each group can follow their rules.
Straight bonding guys don't have to go sexual ever. They can enjoy trips, parties, movies, talks, dinners and sports.
Straight curious can enjoy all the above and nudity together or hugging and sleeping.
Bi and gay bonding can have straights too enjoy nude parties and are ok with erections.
But beyond that sleeping, none sexual nude hugs nude baths nude socialisation and nude sleeping can be none sexual, too.
Even masturbation in nude groups is fine.
Next is the total sexual bonding with guys of all sexualities alongside none sexual activities.
If each group follows the rules then male bonding can develop.
In sexual bonding their can be exclusive groups with disease free healthy men who can maintain the group for decades.
If men can become organized and supportive of other men friends then men can live a beautiful life. Again sex or no sex are strict rules that can nurture kindness and love between men.
Wish me can create such mb.
