What is the purpose of therapy to you?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Principessa, Oct 3, 2008.

  1. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    I was having a discussion with a friend a few weeks ago and she said, "No true therapist would tell anyone what to do. A therapist is a facilitator for a patient to find a path for themselves. Therapy is Greek for treatment. If you want someone to tell you what to do, ask your mother or pay for a life coach."

    I disagree. What is the point in going to therapy if they can't or won't help you and tell you how to fix all the crap that's going on in your life?

    I have been to therapists in the past that gave me homework. Not worksheets but things like breathing exercises to help decrease my anxiety. The therapists I didn't like and quickly dropped were the ones that answered my questions with a question. :rolleyes: If you can't help me I'm not wasting time and money just to hear myself talk. Heck, I've got friends I can talk to; but many of them are as nuts as I am. :tongue:
    • What is the purpose of therapy to you?
    • Would you be offended if a therapist told you what to do?
    • Do you prefer talk therapy to Cognitive Behavior Therapy? In CBT the focus is usually on behavior or thought modification.
     
  2. cocktoberfest

    cocktoberfest New Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2007
    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United States
    Basically, I can give you a fish, or teach you how to catch your own. Sounds like you just want to pop some fish sticks in the microwave and be done with it.
     
  3. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    3,790
    Likes Received:
    17
    There's a fine line for therapists. If they do tell someone what to do, or how to act, and the results of that action harm, they could be held liable. Which could result in being sued, losing their license, or criminal charges, so I think that's why many seem removed from their clients/patients issues.

    Because therapy is based more upon talking than action (mind/body work, significant changes in lifestyle or environment), I'm not sure it is beneficial to most people. Especially those who have lifelong relationships with their therapist or rely on psychotropic medication forever. Therapy and drugs are supposed to make your effort to correct issues easier, more often, they act as a crutch and the treatment never ends.

    Do I sound anti-therapy?
    I'm not, but feel there are limitations to what a therapist, or drugs, can offer to help someone. In the end, real change and healing are the patients' responsibility.
     
  4. Xcuze

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Messages:
    2,979
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In a treehouse
    This is strictly one for the yanks Im thinking...:nana:
     
  5. Viking_UK

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2007
    Messages:
    1,245
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    Isn't therapy these days a replacement for close friends and confidantes?

    It seems to me that a lot of people pay others to listen to them whine about why they're so hard-done-by and how the world is against them. The "therapist" or "counsellor" is happy to take their money and not really do anything to disabuse them of the idea that they're a victim because that would mean cutting off their income. If the "patient" said the same things to a friend or parent or especially a grandparent, they'd soon be told to get their act together and stop whining and get on with life.

    Now that I've got your backs up, I'll move on to proper therapy where the therapist is actually helping the patient deal with real issues such as childhood abuse or neglect. Their aim is to help their client reach a state where they are confident enough in their abilities and their self-worth to function in society without needing a therapist.

    There's a world of a difference between the two. A good way to tell the difference between them is whether or not they offer discounts for block bookings of sessions. Another is for the therapist to tell you you don't need their help and to go out and get on with your life, although I doubt if even the best of them would do that these days at the risk of being sued by some "patient" who took a strop, did something stupid out of spite and then said, "See, I told you I needed therapy!"
     
  6. geek0

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2006
    Messages:
    395
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    30
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Sheffield (GB)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Ive had a therapist 3 times, the first time i talked until i had unburdened myself and yes i felt much better but it didnt teach me how to deal with anything, the second time was better but still i wondered how much id learned when i found myself in a similar position for the third time. The 3rd time I have to say that i literally demanded techniques on how to deal with feelings and situations as i realised that was the only long term solution.
    They cant tell me what i need to do because that has to be my decision but they did equip me with ways and means to deal with things, would it be good to rely on a therapist to sort out every issue you have? wouldnt it be better to make those decisions for yourself and feel empowered by that? I can only speak from my experience but ive learned to deal with things on my own, to recognise what is good and bad for me and what makes me happy, ive let go of friends and situations and built new foundations so to speak, its tough when you feel low and you're confidence is in tatters but it was good to have that sounding board and someone who can give you encouragement and techniques to help you along the way. Did they give me the answers? No, i found them for myself, did they help me to realise the answers? Yes, and for that i,ll be forever grateful, it took a few attempts but it ended up being a positive experience and one that will stand me in good stead.
     
  7. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Messages:
    42,918
    Likes Received:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC/Honolulu
    The first time I sought help from a therapist, was after my parents died, because I could not or did not want to talk to family and friends. I was dealing with sadness and anger issues. It saw someone once a week for about six months. The experience helped in terms of having someone impartial to talk to and deal with my emotions. The therapist was very good and really worked more as a guide.
    The second time is now, but the circumstances are dealing with prescription drug dependance. I have one private session a week and meet with a small group once a week. I've only had one session of each so far. Is it helping? Too soon to say. But I need to have knee surgery and will have to take drugs for pain management while recovering. So we will see.
     
  8. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    The purpose of me seeing a therapists every week for almost a year was to try and reduce my burden of living. I hated life and wanted my abuser back so badly. I had CBT to try and modify my thoughts about life in general. It worked for awhile, but now I just do whatever to self sooth.
     
  9. ZOS23xy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2007
    Messages:
    5,073
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    directly above the center of the earth
    Therapy? To talk things through in order to reach a desired conclusion or altering of "a way of thinking or behaving". Sometimes people do not see the way they act as having consequences, so it must be revealed to them.

    But currently, going through stressful times, I've found myself in need of an anti depressant and I'm starting to use Zoloft. The forces affecting me are not from my behavior, but outside of me.

    I'll wait and see what happens. Current phase: insomnia.

    And it is a bummer to go through a drug program and independent of that, hurt yourself and find the candy being given to you.
     
  10. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2007
    Messages:
    7,002
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    therapy = decadent self-indulgence, participated in to validate one's self-centeredness
     
  11. ZOS23xy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2007
    Messages:
    5,073
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    directly above the center of the earth
    Not always. I know people who have been helped by therapy. They are too close to the problem to see the error.

    But you can indulge in this smug little feeling, if it makes you feel good.
     
  12. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2007
    Messages:
    7,002
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
  13. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2007
    Messages:
    7,002
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX

    to the extent it is useful, it is because it functions exactly as you say

    an example is this fellow who married, then was unable to consummate, in spite of the fact that he loved his wife dearly, and wanted to start a family

    the therapist sat down with him, and in his words, became the adolescent buddy the guy had never had, talking to him lasciviously about having sex with women ... the fellow was then able to carry on with intimate relations with his wife and start a family

    as one of the previous posts indicated, we are paying to have friends, and relatives ... and to conduct the inner conversations we should be having to begin with ...
     
  14. SpeedoGuy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    4,229
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest, USA
    Friends can lend a sympathetic ear but would it be realistic for people undergoing emotional turmoil to expect to be able to repeatedly dump their angst out on friends and relatives? My experience has been not.
     
  15. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Messages:
    42,918
    Likes Received:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC/Honolulu
    as one of the previous posts indicated, we are paying to have friends, and relatives ... and to conduct the inner conversations we should be having to begin with ...[/B][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
    I don't think it is fair to generalize all people who seek therapy into the same category. Some people go to deal with end of life issues, others go to deal with rape or abuse. Some may go because they may not have the social skills to share them with their friends or family. And some may have problems that they may need help to get the tools and insights that will enable them to at some point to talk to friends and relatives.
     
  16. OCMuscleJock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Messages:
    3,292
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    908
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Luis Obispo, CA
    Think of therapy this way... Some people do not have people they can talk to or trust to talk to about certain things. A real therapist should listen and make suggestions thats all.

    When I first moved into my new house, we let a friend stay with us a few months to help him save money for med school. I had no clue he was bipolar. I tried my best to help him thru a sudden laps of depression and no matter what I did...it wasn't working. This went on for a month. Therapists are there and trained to deal with things like this. There is no way I would want to go thru what we did then again. It almost ended our friendship.

    So to say it's bunk is not true. With my degree, I was trained to deal with some of the issues people bring up. However, In his case...it was extreme and way out of my scope of practice.
     
  17. Mem

    Mem
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2006
    Messages:
    8,087
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    FL
  18. Xcuze

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Messages:
    2,979
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In a treehouse
    Good therapy should never be paid for. If a therapist is making money from you then why would they ever want to cure you? If indeed they could cure you. Life is about endless obstacles & you need to learn how to deal with them yourself.
     
  19. Mem

    Mem
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2006
    Messages:
    8,087
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    FL

    I agree I heard Howard Stern saying that he goes three times a week and his therapist told him that if he only wants to go two time he will not see him.
     
  20. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Messages:
    42,918
    Likes Received:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC/Honolulu
    A good therapist like a good doctor would want to see a patient cured. Would you say a doctor would never want to see a patient get well?
     
Draft saved Draft deleted